Confident or Over-confident

 

Whenever I ask people to accept themselves unconditionally and be proud of who they are, the invariable response is, "But won't that make me over-confident and arrogant?" Today, let us put all such doubts to rest by understanding the difference between genuine confidence and over-confidence.

Confidence

·         Genuine confidence has nothing to do with pride and arrogance. It is just an honest acknowledgment of our innate capabilities.

·         Confidence comes from valuing, validating and having faith in ourselves.

Confident people

·         Really confident people do not try to prove anything to anyone.

·         They do not seek attention from others.

·         They exude a natural magnetism and charisma which attracts people towards them.

·         They exhibit joy and happiness at all times.

·         They are naturally radiant.

·         They are often very quiet and understated, yet they are not afraid to speak their truth.

·         They express themselves freely when the situation demands.

·         They are always authentic in their expression.

·         People love interacting with confident people because they too feel confident in their company.

Over-confidence

·         Over-confidence stems from deep feelings of inadequacy and inability to cope with life.

·         It is a compensatory mechanism to mask self-doubt.

·         Arrogance is one way in which over-confidence raises its ugly head.

Over-confident People

·         Over- confident people are usually loud and noisy.

·         They speak loudly and forcefully to prove their point.

·         They always seek validation from outside.

·         Even when they receive the approval they seek from others, they experience an emptiness inside them.

·         They do not feel fully satisfied with life and usually remain unhappy.

·         People display over-confidence because they do not feel good about themselves.

·         They display bravado to compensate for feelings of inferiority.

·         They like to make fun of others, but cannot take a joke about them in the right spirit.

·         Others can sense the self-doubt that lurks behind the over-confident persona.

How to become more confident?

·         Don't judge and berate yourself if you display over-confidence once in a while. Judgment compounds whatever it judges.

·         Remember that self-confidence comes from within.

·         No amount of outside approval or validation can make us confident from inside.

·         Be honest about yourself and your feelings. When you acknowledge your feelings you love and honor yourself.

·         If you feel negative about yourself, examine your self-concepts and deep rooted beliefs.

·         Most of your concepts and beliefs come from your early childhood experiences.

·         Explore your limiting beliefs and re-program yourself.

·         Forgive yourself for any perceived negative attributes. You are human and you can make mistakes, but mistakes do not define you.

·         The only thing wrong with you is the thought that something is wrong with you which needs to be fixed.

·         Instead of trying to fix yourself, confidently reveal yourself.

·         Be kind and compassionate to yourself.

·         Start believing in yourself because if you don't do that, how can you expect the world to believe in you?

·         Remember that you have a free will to change, grow, evolve, transform, blossom and bloom.

·         Congratulate yourself for doing your best, pat your back, love and accept yourself completely.

·         "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." Buddha.

·         The more you love and value yourself, the more you will discover your power, and experience true confidence.

·         The power of choice always remains with you.

--

Chitra Jha
Inner Peace Counselor
Past Life Regression Therapist
'Inner Child Work' Facilitator
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

 

We see the world not as it is, but as we are...............
 

‎

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Square Pegs in Square Holes

This is that time of the year when young boys and girls, across the length and breadth of this great country decide their career path. What are the factors which help them 'make' this decision? Ideally, young people should be choosing the subjects that they 'enjoy'; something that they have an aptitude for. But that's not what happens in the 'real' world. Here, the choices depend upon the percentage of marks achieved, qualifications that fetch better paying jobs, professions that the parents have been pursuing, or subject streams that 'sound' good and respectable, something that will ensure a living.

Wait a minute! Isn't there something grossly wrong with this system? Aren't we trying to fit round pegs in square holes? Why are we doing this? Who benefits by this? Certainly not the young wards we wish well for and claim to love!! What is the way out of this self-created mess?

We all know that life is a series of choices; then why make choices that are driven by the external world. It is alright to choose a wardrobe based on current trends but choosing a career path is a very important decision. If you make a wrong decision now, you will find it difficult to retrace your steps.

We must remember that each one of us is unique. And since we are unique beings, our aptitudes are also unique. But what is an aptitude? According to Wikipedia, an aptitude is an 'innate' component of competency; which means that you will be competent doing what you have an aptitude for.

Now how do we decide our aptitude? It is very simple. Just close your eyes and ask yourself, "What is it that I desire the most? What are my skills and abilities? What kind of attitude I have towards certain professions and life in general? What do I enjoy studying? What do I enjoy doing? If time and money were of no consequence, what would I love doing?" A self-assessment will make you fully aware of your aptitudes.

Your aptitude is closely linked with your passion. So what are the benefits of following your passion?

• Your career will be an opportunity for self expression.
• You will grow exponentially.
• You will be happy in your career.
• You will be peaceful.
• You will be focused.
• You will have more clarity.
• You will feel enthusiastic.
• You will take inspired actions.
• You will enjoy your work and give it your full attention.
• You will produce excellent results.
• You will become more productive.
• You will do your best and bring out the best in others.
• Your life will become easier and much more fun.
• You will be in alignment with your life's purpose.
• You will express your unique gift.

And what will happen if you just blindly follow the trends, doing something that you are not passionate about?

 You will procrastinate.
• You will get distracted easily.
• You will resist.
• You will struggle.
• You will be unhappy.
• You will carry self-doubt.
• You will feel restless and bored.
• You will stay stuck in a job you don't care about.
• You will not feel completely fulfilled.

Let us take an example from nature. Suppose a mango tree was not being true to itself and wanted to produce oranges. What are the chances of its success? Well, a mango tree may spend its entire lifetime, trying to produce oranges but it will gain nothing except frustration. So the right course of action for a mango tree is to follow the natural law.

A regular mango tree lives in a state of peace, energy, joy and inspiration, being what it is, and happily producing mangoes. This is the path we must choose. But unfortunately we are like that hypothetical mango tree who is at war with itself, trying hard to produce oranges. It is high time we ended this war and found peace within; the peace of who we are!

And that will happen only when we choose the career we are most suited for……….Let the square pegs fit in square holes and leave the round holes for the round pegs……!

--

Chitra Jha
Inner Peace Counselor
Past Life Regression Therapist
'Inner Child Work' Facilitator
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

 

We see the world not as it is, but as we are...............
 

‎

Read more!