Improve Your Focus to Achieve Success

It has been said that the main reason people fail in achieving their goals is because of their broken focus. Unless we have a laser like focus on whatever it is that we do/want, it is more than likely that we won’t achieve it. In fact what we will gain instead is a state of frustration and confusion.

How can we increase our focus and get rid of frustration and confusion? Before we understand that, we need to ask ourselves a few questions.

• Do you really know what you want? Do you want to know it?
• Do you live with vague wants; such as ‘I want to be successful; I want to be rich; I want a good life; etc?
• Are you scared of making a decision? Is it because of the fear of not being able to achieve it?
• Are you afraid of making mistakes?
• Do you believe in yourself?
• Are you telling yourself, “There is no point wanting that, I’ll never get it?”
• Are you aware that your beliefs create your reality?
• Are you scared that if you went for what you want, you will have to leave a lot of things behind?
• Are you so caught up in doing what others want from you that you have forgotten what you want for yourself?
• Does your happiness depend upon other people’s happiness?
• If someone asks you a simple question like, ‘what would you like for dinner?’ Do you find yourself saying, “It doesn’t matter?” Is that how you are treating your life with, ‘it doesn’t matter’?
• Have you given up on yourself?

Your answers to these questions will reveal a lot about your focus. If you are not focused enough, the following tips will help:

• Be clear about what you really want in/from life. You truly have everything that you need to achieve your dreams right inside you. You can achieve any goal provided you are focused and ready to work with your subconscious. You can train yourself for success. You can get most out of yourself and your inner powers. You can make your life easy and fulfilling. All you have to do is decide what is important to you and come up with a plan to achieve it.
• Making a decision now doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind ever. In fact, an increased focus will let you see clearly if this is what you really want.
• Writing down your goal, objective and plans increases your chances of success by about 80%. The best part is that you don’t have to be clear about all the details of your plan. You only need to make a list of what you want and a general idea about how to get there. Just writing down your goal along with a sketchy plan is enough to propel you into action. They say that 80% of those who write down their goals end up achieving them. Then why is it that only about 5% people actually put their goals down in writing? Why do you think this writing down business is so effective? It is effective because when you write down your success plan, you send a message to your subconscious mind that you are ready for success. When you write it confidently, you tell the Universe that you will accept nothing less than success. This process is powerful as it sends a powerful message to your subconscious mind to get going with the plans and modify them as and when required. This process is known as co-creation. In this way you co-create success, in partnership with your subconscious mind.
• Break up your big goal into smaller bits. Increase your focus step by step. How about increasing it by about 2% every day? You can do it.
• Collect your scattered energies. If you focus on too many things at the same time, your focus can’t be laser sharp.
• Get rid of the ‘I don’t know’ syndrome. You better know what you want. If you keep saying ‘I don’t know’, your brain will begin to agree with you. Perhaps you don’t know what you want because you have never really thought about it. Think about it now. Most of us plan our vacations and our parties more thoroughly than we plan our lives.
• Remember, focus leads to smart actions which lead to an improved momentum. It makes us shine in our chosen sphere.

So get focused, decide what you truly want to achieve and send right signals to your subconscious mind.

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Being The Best We Can Be

Each one of us wants to be/ do/ have better than we currently are/do/have. We want to be smarter/ happier/ richer/ thinner/ wittier/ more successful/ more lovable and more popular than we are right now. We want to do better in studies, jobs and relationships. We want to have better jobs, bank balances, cars, gadgets, and lives; and why not? Why should we settle for something less than we can be/ do/ have? We must fulfill ourselves and live up to our highest potential.

Why is it that we don’t achieve our highest potential? It is because we don’t operate out of mature, adult judgment. It is because we don’t take the most appropriate course of action. It is because we don’t make intelligent, considered choices in our best interest. It is because we operate out of some outdated attitudes that we acquired in our formative years. It is because we don’t question our immature attitudes. It is because we don’t know what damaging thoughts are lurking right below the level of our conscious awareness. Yes, our subconscious attitudes make us behave in a certain manner. The reality is that we are not in control of our attitude; our attitude controls us. We are not even consciously aware of our pre-dispositions and attitudes.

How can we take corrective measures in order to be the best we can be? Here are some pointers:

• Don’t compare yourself with your more successful friends and relatives. This comparison confirms your underlying beliefs of inferiority and inadequacy.
• Don’t criticize yourself for your imperfections. Your criticism strengthens your painful thoughts about your inadequacy.
• Don’t remain unhappy. While thinking of living a better life, remain happy with whatever you have. This seems like a paradox, but it is the primary mantra for achieving a better life. Being happy increases your energy field and attracts opportunities towards you.
• Don’t lose self-respect. Always love and respect yourself. Make a list of your qualities that you can respect and love yourself for.
• Don’t wear a false mask. Be honest about your feelings. If you are feeling unworthy, accept this feeling.
• Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Setbacks are a part of life. They only help you in learning from your mistakes. Don’t take your failures personally. Everyone fails at something at some point or the other in their lives.
• Don’t feel unworthy of success. Each one of us deserves to have a great life.
• Don’t shun so called ‘bad’ experiences. In life both good and bad happens. Accept both with equanimity.
• Don’t try to control others. Live and let live.
• Don’t look for security. Security is an illusion. Anything physical is not permanent. Look for growth and evolution instead.
• Don’t remain anxious about the results of your efforts. The results will be seen at the right time. Keep doing your work with faith and commitment.
• Don’t think of yourself as better than or less than others. Each one is a unique individual capable of achieving the best.
• Don’t unnecessarily try to please others. Be pleasant with all.
• Don’t withdraw into yourself. Remain open and friendly with all.
• Don’t rebel against authority. Be amiable. Put your point across amicably.
• Don’t be too submissive. Have self-respect.
• Don’t blame others for your problems. Take complete responsibility for all that you have in your life.
• Don’t criticize others. It lowers your vibrations and attracts criticism of your actions. Criticism of any kind always re-bounces back to you.
• Don’t plan and schedule ‘everything’ in advance. Keep room for uncertainties. Welcome uncertainties in your life.
• Don’t see life in terms of ‘always’ and ‘never’; ‘right’ and ‘wrong’; ‘black’ and ‘white’; ‘winner’ and ‘loser’. Follow the middle path.
• Don’t always think of winning an argument. Arguments can never be won. Accept others’ point of view but follow your own truth.
• Don’t be stubborn. Listen to others.
• Don’t defend yourself. You don’t have to prove anything. If someone doesn’t agree with you, so be it.
• Don’t feel responsible for others. Your primary responsibility is to yourself. Help others become responsible for themselves.
• Don’t evaluate others on the basis of external appearances. Things are not always as they seem. Respect everyone.

It takes courage to be the best we can be, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Remember, you are worth it!!!

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The Power of Purpose

How many of us live truly purposeful lives and how many just drift along, always trying to fit in with the trends; living life on others’ terms? A lack of an individual or collective purpose makes us feel inadequate, helpless and powerless. Lao Tzu, a famous Chinese philosopher living over 2500 years ago had said, “The biggest problem in the world today is that individuals experience themselves as powerless.” We haven’t progressed much on this count in these two and a half millenniums. We still feel helpless, negative, lethargic, frustrated, and resentful. We often live in fear, enslaved by our circumstances, which we think are beyond our control. All these are signs of powerlessness. Our efforts to achieve success in any field are sabotaged by powerlessness as it breeds negativity, helplessness and inertia.

True power comes with purpose. It brings an inner awareness, an inner state of being in control; an inner knowing that we can achieve our goals. It brings a calm conviction about our true identity. It makes us believe that we can achieve all that we set out to achieve in life. It gives us a quiet confidence in our abilities. It helps us set a direction for our life. It makes us distinguish among circumstances over which we have some control and over which we have no control. This power makes us define ourselves from inside out. It makes our internal space a positive one. From this space, our internal dialogue always moves us towards self confidence. We constantly keep affirming, “I am a capable person. I can handle all life challenges with élan. I am creative. I learn from all my mistakes. Etc. etc.”

Mahatma Gandhi is a shining example of a person who used the power of purpose in the most effective manner. He held no political office. He didn’t possess great wealth. He was a small, frail, scantily clad man, who took on the might of the British Empire and drove the erstwhile rulers without firing a single shot. How did he achieve this supposedly impossible goal? He could do it with the power of purpose; the power which can move mountains and achieve miracles.

How can we cultivate this power in our lives? This power comes with a vision for our future. It comes when we open up to new possibilities. It comes when we nurture our inherent strengths. Yes, each one of us has been granted numerous gifts by nature/ God/ Universe/ Spirit/ Energy/ Intelligence…….whatever name you may call it. Ask yourself, “What are the blessings/ gifts/ powers that I have been blessed with so far?” Make a list of these blessings. Your list could include a safe and secure home, loving family, fresh drinking water, plenty of food, good health, sound mind, education, employment, friends, freedom from life threats, talents, abilities etc.

Once you have made this list, you are ready to ask the next question. Ask yourself, “Why have I been given all these gifts? What is the purpose?” This is a very important question, so let the answer come in from deep inside you. For some the purpose could be to experience love, joy, beauty, and aliveness. For some others it could be sharing the gifts and supporting others in living joyful, authentic lives. Some may be inclined to create conditions where everyone can live with inner security and peace. Some may wish to understand more about the human nature and human experience. There can be as many purposes as there are people, since each one of us is unique, with our unique bouquet of gifts and talents!

Once you have identified your most compelling purpose you are ready for the final question. Ask yourself, “How am I going to use my gifts to the fullest? What actions do I need to take today in the direction of my life’s purpose? How can I align my gifts with the purpose I have identified?” Whichever way you may frame this question, but the answer to this question will give you the power of purpose. This answer will make you look at each moment as an opportunity to march forward on your chosen path.

So go ahead, ask these questions, honestly answer them and find your power of purpose. This power will propel you towards dizzying heights of success in any chosen field…….because this field will be in alignment with who you are!!!!

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Why do you want what you want?

Anyone who wishes to improve his/her lot has to be very clear on what s/he wants from life. This clarity of intention is the most important step in manifesting your desires. Writing all your wants on a piece of paper helps further in giving absolute clarity to your thoughts; but what actually clinches the deal is a simple three letter question word, ‘WHY’.

We have to be absolutely clear on why we want what we want. Why do you want more money? Why do you want to become an IAS officer? Why do you want to get 95% marks? Why do you want to write a book? Why do you want to build a house? Why? Why? Why? Keep your focus on why you are doing what you are doing. If your focus is not right, you will give up your dreams at the first possible obstacle that comes in your way. Ever wondered why 90% of people fail at improving their lot in life? This is the reason; they don’t keep their focus on the ‘why’. They are not clear why they want what they want. They don’t know the real benefits. They are just following the herd mentality. Are you one of them?

Our problem is that we get stuck in ‘how’. How will I study? How will I clear the entrance exam? How will I get there? How will I get a job? How will I get a promotion? Etc. We keep asking, “How will I do this? How will I do that?” These ‘hows’ make us anxious. They keep us worried. They make us waste energy in trying to figure out how we will accomplish things. All this wasted and ill-focused energy only pushes away our desires and dreams further. We feel disheartened when we don’t get any answers to our hows.

Our sub-conscious mind is very literal. It needs to be convinced that what you dream about is what you really want. It needs to be told about it in unambiguous terms. So what is it that you truly want? Not what you think you ‘should’ want or what others want for you? If you are still talking about, “I have to do this. I should do this. This is the done thing. This is in vogue now. I must do this. This is the only way to achieve success. My parents want me to do this. This was my father’s dream. Etc”, your subconscious will resist you. It will give you all the logical reasons as to why you can’t do this. But if your focus has been on ‘why’ you desire something and you are very clear about it, your subconscious will work as a willing partner in bringing your dreams to fruition.

Your focus on why you want something will keep you motivated to work towards your goal. Temporary setback will not bother you. You will remain committed until you achieve your goal. This strategy has worked for thousands of people and it will work for you. You may have a different desire than others do but the underlying principles remain the same for all. So tell me, “Why do you want what you want?”

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Magnetize your Thoughts

I get a lot of feedback on my columns and most of it is from youngsters. Quite a few of them ask me how to concentrate on their studies. I tell them about focus, deep breathing and meditation. Those of you who have taken my advice and have practiced concentration in some form, viz., meditation, prayer, contemplation etc, know what it is like to quiet your mind. Those of you, who have never formally practiced doing it, have been indulging in it while day-dreaming, or being in deep thought. Yes, whether consciously or unconsciously, each one of us accomplishes concentration and focus sometime or the other. What we are not generally aware of is the fact that we generate an electro-magnetic field of attraction or repulsion with our thoughts, through the release of hormones and chemicals from our endocrine system. More focused we are, stronger is this electro-magnetic field. Stronger the electro-magnetic field, better the attraction of our desired goals towards us.

Our thoughts originate in the brain but travel through every cell of our body. They produce micro-electrical charges (we experience this charge as feelings) in our neural passages. These electrical charges are magnetic in character. These magnetic waves attract all our life experiences to us. They also repel some events/people/situations from our experience. Thus we create our life circumstances.
Most of our thoughts are sub-conscious, which means that they operate below our conscious awareness. These thoughts hold great power and by default run/ ruin our lives. Whether we like it or not, these thoughts too travel through the positive/negative receptors of our cells. These thoughts too initiate release of peptides from our endocrine glands. These thoughts too produce electric charges and become magnetic. The truth is that our subconscious thoughts unconsciously drive our choices.

Now you understand the reason for the gap between your conscious desires and unconscious life choices that you make. If you have desired something and not achieved it as yet, please examine your sub-conscious thoughts. Look at the separation between your unconscious thoughts and your conscious desires. For example, you may desire to become a doctor, you are studying for the entrance exams, but your subconscious thoughts go like, ‘I am not doctor material. MBBS entrance is really tough. I will have to study for 8 years before I can establish my practice. I don’t really like blood and stuff…..etc. etc.’ with this train of thoughts, you will attract tough question papers and you will repel your chances of securing a seat. Success comes to us only when our conscious desires are in sync with our subconscious choices!!

When we become aware that every thought we think (whether consciously or unconsciously) operates at levels we are not aware of (through an electro-magnetic field), we understand how we are creating our reality in each moment. This awareness is our moment of Truth. This awareness empowers us to take complete charge of our lives.

Each thought produces a combination of brain waves in each moment, yet we can choose to focus on one brain wave over another at will. Most of the times, our operating frequency produces endless programs of fear, doubt and limitation! These are the programs that usually run/ruin our lives. When we are more focused on our work, we think fewer thoughts. In this state, we can control our thoughts to a greater extent.

Our mind is designed in such a way that it can’t hold two thoughts at the same time. Try thinking about two things together. You can’t do it. The more persistent thought will displace the weaker thought. By using this property to your advantage, you can concentrate on thoughts of success, prosperity, compassion and joy. Over a period of time your old thinking patterns will simply dissolve through lack of use.

We can access our power by letting our wants and desires regulate our thinking. We can also be in tune with the micro-electric charges produced by these thoughts, through our feelings. Good feelings tell us that we are magnetizing good in our lives. Bad feelings tell us that we are repelling our good and attracting the un-desirable into our lives. It is that simple. By staying in tune with our feelings we can monitor our thoughts, and choose empowering thoughts. The feelings let us have a conscious access to our subconscious thought processes. They can help us de-link from our limiting, fearful thoughts and cultivate positive, magnetic thoughts!!!

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Learn to Listen

The biggest complaint of parents these days is that their children don’t listen to them. This habit of ‘not listening’ carries on until someday some soft skills instructor teaches them ‘how to listen’. I believe that the first duty you have towards yourself is to listen: listen to everything around you, including that small voice which speaks from within. Listening is an art and if learnt well it unleashes a creative force in us.

We all like people who listen to us; because when someone gives us a patient hearing we feel that s/he understands us. Don’t you like to be listened to? The need to be understood is the most basic human need. Then why is it that this need remains unfulfilled in most of us?

Listening involves a lot more than just our two ears. Ears only ‘hear’. Hearing is influenced by our conditioning, our opinions, and our belief systems, hence, most of the times we hear what we wish to hear. The words spoken by another pass through many layers of filters before reaching our mind which takes cognizance of them, and like the game of ‘Chinese Whispers’, what the mind finally deciphers is very different from what the speaker had meant to convey. This gap in the spoken and heard words leads to misunderstandings, disharmony and conflicts in our lives.

So how is listening different from hearing? Listening is an ‘inner’ process. It moves beyond hearing. It knows no words. We cannot listen to others unless we learn to listen to ourselves. Our inner self is constantly communicating with us through our feelings, thoughts and emotions. This communication is known as in-tuition, which means instruction from within.

Since we are not taught to listen to this inner voice it keeps interrupting us whenever we want to listen to the external sounds. This inner voice carries our inner compulsions, deepest fears, desires and needs. When we don’t pay heed to these, we remain restless and unhappy with ourselves and hence with others, especially the ones closest to us. We become emotionally challenged (low E.Q) and start playing petty games with each other. We start longing for others to listen to us. We start looking for praise and applause. We start harboring envy and malice.
To be able to truly listen we need to train ourselves to go beyond hearing. We need to involve our heart along with our ears. When we learn to listen to our own deepest truths, we can listen to those of others as well. Listening helps us discover ourselves and others.

Listening begins with deep contemplation. In order to truly listen we need to drop our masks and disguises. We need to free ourselves of our self-imposed inhibitions. The more we listen to our inner instructions the more aware we become of the outside world.

So wake up and listen, you will find someone who understands you; someone who is ready to guide you and show you the way towards fulfillment in life!!! Just Listen……………

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Competent Managers

How do we distinguish competent managers from incompetent ones? Here are some traits that all competent managers share and which make them more interesting, more respected and more admired:

• Good communication skills: All competent managers convey the organizational needs in a clear and concise manner. They do not indulge in nasty, negative miscommunication. People who are careless in their communication have difficulty being competent!

• Strong leadership capabilities: Competent managers earn respect by demonstrating positive leadership. They not only take charge of their departments but also of their personal lives effectively.

• Good relationships: Competent managers solicit co-operation from their superiors, peers and subordinates by regularly interacting with them. They believe in dealing with people as though they will deal with them for the rest of their lives; building long-term relationships. Such treatment of people makes the work flow harmoniously. All that they do is express politeness, consideration, and gratitude; the rest gets taken care of.

• Hard work: Competent managers lead from the front. They inspire others by personal examples. They work hard so that others may work hard as well. They elicit admiration by putting in maximum work. They always do their best and honor others who do the same.

• Effectiveness: Competent managers do not ask others to do what they themselves would not do in the first place. They make others follow them by making the work environment as comfortable as possible. They make an impact upon others with their care.

• Others first: Competent managers understand that if one wishes to learn anything rather well, he has to teach that to others; so they commit themselves to developing winning teams. As they help develop others by teaching them, they themselves keep getting better.

• Self-development: Competent managers develop and improve themselves constantly. They take good care of their body, mind and emotions.

• Willingness to change: Competent managers are ever willing to change, adapt and grow with the times. By being willing to change they expand in knowledge, wisdom, joy and awareness.

• Integrity: Competent managers understand that maintaining integrity is the most important step. They believe in themselves, take a position and stand by it. They take a stand even when they know that they can’t please everyone and may even alienate some in the process. Competent managers always have a point of view. They stand up for what they believe in; stand down from a position of compromise and stand back from something that doesn’t feel right.

Are you a competent manager? Test yourself on above parameters.

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