Social Intelligence

We have heard of emotional intelligence, but social intelligence is the new ‘must have’ doing the rounds these days. During the economic slowdown, this expression has taken a new meaning. Developing social intelligence is said to improve most areas of your life. It is being termed as a life changing skill. But what does social intelligence mean? Before we understand that, tell me which are the areas that count in your life? Easy enough! For most of you, these would be your career, your wealth, your relationships, your happiness, and you, yourself. Let me tell you that a high social intelligence will help you improve upon all these areas.

As of now how would you rate your social intelligence? Have you ever walked confidently into a room full of people and initiated an engaging conversation with someone. How successful are you in striking a conversation with someone of the opposite sex, and making that person look at you with admiration? How often have you got what you wanted; such as a job, a raise, a business deal? What about your family? How often do you get them to do something happily and willingly? To sum up, do you have a verbal advantage?

Has there been a time, when you have been completely engrossed in a conversation with someone? I am sure you can remember many such times. Imagine yourself in one such scenario. You are talking and someone is intently listening to you. You are completely into that moment. You are feeling great rapport with your listener; paying all your attention to this person in front of you. You feel completely connected. You intuitively feel that this person understands you. When s/he speaks you too hang on to every spoken word. There is instant understanding. This type of friendship and respect goes beyond words. I think you have got the picture.

Now tell me how much better your life would become, if you feel the same kind of rapport with everyone you meet? Got you there! You will invariably say, ‘it is impossible to develop this kind of rapport with everyone.’ This is where your social intelligence comes in. Have you ever wondered how some people become millionaires even without going to college? Well, I am not talking about the ones who inherit millions or who use illegal means to earn their money. I am talking about regular people with a highly developed social intelligence. This skill makes them charismatic. They win hearts wherever they go. Let us see what other benefits can be reaped by this single skill.

When you have oodles of social intelligence, you end up getting preferential treatment: during travel, at work, in social setups, or even in malls!! You easily develop instant rapport with people. Total strangers respond warmly to you. People control their attitudes and emotions when they are with you. Your family and friends respond warmly to you. You feel emotionally fulfilled. Even when you need to correct a colleague, friend, or family member; you can do it easily without causing any heart burns. You deal efficiently with difficult and angry people. You get noticed. You stand out in a crowd. You become successful. You gain respect.

You must be wondering how is all this possible? Well, all this and much more is possible, if you develop social intelligence. Now you will ask, ‘What do I need to do in order to develop social intelligence?’ Developing social intelligence is not tough, all it requires is your intention and sincere practice of some time tested tools. Let me just enumerate the important steps to you. As you become good at it, you can add your own steps.

• To begin with you will need to become genuinely interested in people.
• You will need to learn to actually listen to what others are saying, and ask one or two questions that show that you have been listening.
• You will need to come out of your self-centeredness.
• Instead of asking, ‘what is in it for me?’ You will need to ask, ‘what can I do for you?’
• You will need to love and respect people for what they are and not for what they have or what they do.
• You will need to look at people’s strengths, instead of looking at their shortcomings.
• You will need to appreciate people. Yes, you will have to say it out loud and be genuine about it. I am sure you can find one good thing to appreciate in everyone you meet.
• You will need to smile more often. Try smiling at everyone you meet.
• You will need to offer help wherever needed.
• Last but not the least, you will need to love and respect yourself.

These steps if followed regularly to a ‘T’ can help you achieve personal and professional growth. Social intelligence is a life changing skill. It can also be termed as ‘soulcializing’. All great communicators have worked at this skill.

You see, this is an advanced form of effective communication. Every time you communicate with someone, what do you try to do? Most of the times you are persuading someone to do something or avoid something; whether in the present or in the future! Every time you face two choices. Either you do it outright or you convey your message in subtle ways. In order to succeed you need to be effective in both these methods. Your social intelligence helps you choose the right method at the right time.

Of course, you do need to have your other credentials in place. Social intelligence is just the icing on the cake. But you well know that it is the icing that makes the difference. Have you seen sprinters running in a competition? The champions are invariably just a few hundredth of a second faster than the rest. Similarly, most successful people have mastered just a small skill here and there, which is unknown to the rest. They often use right charm and words to get other people to open up to them.

So, determine what you want to achieve in life, hone your social intelligence skills, and EXPECT success!!!!!

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