Personal Excellence

No matter what you do in your life, doing it to the best of your abilities brings in great rewards. Making a commitment to personal excellence ensures a life full of success, passion, and fulfillment. Why is excellence so important? It is a well known fact that the results that we experience are always in direct proportion to the quality of our actions. If we put in half hearted actions, we achieve minimal results. If we give our absolute best, we achieve miracles.

The concept of excellence can be applied to any area of our lives, be it our health, wealth, career, or relationships. Sometimes we do just a ‘good enough’ job and call it our best effort. Who are we fooling by doing that? We are only fooling ourselves. We can get good results from putting in a ‘good enough’ effort, but we get excellent results only by achieving excellence in our work. One question that I often ask myself is, “Am I willing to settle for ‘good enough’?” At times I am, but most of the times I am not. Especially when it comes to my life, and my relationships, I am not willing to settle for anything that is not excellent.

In my experience, people do not give their best, because deep down they feel that they are not capable of it. What about you? Do you think that if a task requires effort, it is not worth doing? Do you avoid working any harder than you have to? Do you think that great success is only reserved for truly gifted or incredibly lucky? Are you more focused on quick results, even though they may not be the best results?

Research has shown that any average person is capable of achieving at least 20 times more than they currently do. Do you believe in this statement? Does it ring true in your life? Are you capable of achieving much more than you have done so far? The moment you are willing to consider that you are capable of more; you are in the right mindset to change your life for the better.

Be honest and take a good look at what you have accomplished in your life so far. Are there any areas where you could have done better? Did you shy away from increased responsibility at work? Were you passed over for a promotion? Did you give up your dreams? Did you think that life is too difficult?

If you want to achieve excellence in life, the first step is to acknowledge and accept that your present circumstances reflect the quality and quantity of actions that you have taken so far in your life. You may feel uncomfortable acknowledging it because it effectively means that you are the cause of your stunted growth. However, unless you know where you are and why you are there, you can not make further progress.

Do not judge yourself for your progress or the lack of it so far. Be kind to yourself. Berating yourself and feeling bad about things does not help your situation in any way. Just get a clear understanding of where you are and where you want to go. Tell yourself that you did the best you could with the knowledge that you had so far, and make a promise to yourself to aim for excellence. After all excellence is not about what you do but how you do it.

To understand yourself better you need to ask a few questions.

What is important to you?
What do you live for?
What have you always wanted to do?

Answering these questions would set you on an amazing journey of self-discovery and stupendous growth. Are you ready for it? Are you aware of the activities that make your heart sing? The trick lies in indulging in these activities more often and with more enthusiasm. Be totally involved in these activities.

When we are involved in something that we feel passionately about, we automatically give our all to it. We are able to devote all our energies to the task at hand. In the process of enjoying ourselves, we lend more power to the end result of these activities. Ask yourself do you want lukewarm results or powerful results? The choice is entirely yours.

Sometimes we get too bogged down about the mundane things that just have to be done. It is easy to slip into half-hearted efforts of drudgery and most of the times we do just that. Have you ever thought what may happen if you start paying more attention to your routine tasks? To begin with, start focusing more on the benefits of the work that you do, rather than on the work itself. Create a sense of inner pride about everything that you undertake. For example, don’t do your job because you have to. Do your work as though it is the most important job in the world.

Why must you do that? Why should your attitude matter in such a simple, routine thing as your work? The fact remains that if you approach your work with grudging obligation, a few things will happen.

You won’t enjoy the process. You are more focused on just getting it done. You won’t give full attention to the process.
Since you didn’t pay full attention to the process, the results will not be satisfactory. The results may be ‘okay’, and you might be fine with it, but won’t ‘good’ be better than ‘okay’? And won’t ‘great’ be better than ‘good’?
You will miss out on a great sense of accomplishment that comes from a job well done.

If you wish to experience a greater sense of joy and fulfillment in your life, enjoy the things that you do, and expect excellence from yourself. Settling for anything less is insulting your divine potential!!!!!!!

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Secrets of Success

Have you ever wondered about the secrets of success? Has it ever occurred to you that there must be something amiss in your efforts to be successful? Are you living the life that you want to live? Do you feel energetic and alive all the time? Are you passionate about what you do? Do you face each day with expectation and excitement? Do these questions make you uncomfortable? Well, my purpose is to shake you out of your complacence and urge you to move to the next level.

Why is it that so few of us get to be ‘successful’? Being successful takes learning some skills that are present in all successful people. These skills are not necessarily taught in our schools and colleges. That is why a formal education leaves us high and dry on the path to success. Are you willing to give some time to learn these skills to stay ahead of the pack?

There are five character traits that finally determine the chances of your being successful. Some of these distinct traits may be present in you, some you may need to learn. Let us examine these ‘Success Sutras’.

1. Discipline

We know that hard work is the key to success, but hard work without discipline is of no use. Discipline makes you set goals. It helps you manage your time. It makes you measure the results, and finally it helps you maintain an overall balance in your life. So inculcate some discipline in your life. It pays.

2. Passion

Like I said earlier, it is more than just hard work that lets you taste success. How you hold on to a dream determines your success. I agree life does come on hard at us sometimes. It is our passion for what we do that makes us sail through these difficult times. You must develop an instinct to press on and dream mega dreams. Whatever it is that you do, unless you do it to the best of your capability, it is not enough. Passion is the driving force that makes you put in your best effort.

3. Risk

Risk is that ability which makes you step out of your comfort zone. It is not always about rolling a dice and taking a chance. Your willingness to face the challenges on the road to success makes you defeat your complacent attitude. That is your risk taking ability. It is an ability that is valued very highly as a leadership trait. You must be ready to face challenges, regardless of the cost. Your willingness to take risks gets your adrenaline pumping, and helps you move ahead.

4. Optimism

They say, ‘You are what you think about.’ Your self-esteem, self-image, and confidence come from your optimism. Do you see the glass half full or half empty? Your answer to this question determines your rate of success. A positive outlook is the precursor to success. Once you have achieved that, you are ready to take on the world. You should not be boastful, but you must develop a genuine sense of self-worth. You must find value in being yourself. If you are optimistic, you are always a pleasure to be around.

5. Interpersonal skills

You must understand that relationships are fundamental to overall success. That includes personal relationships and your individual ability to deal with people. Factors like negotiating, selling your ideas, and public speaking are all necessary for ultimate success. Don’t always stay in the background. Know when to speak, and when to listen. Be confident of your abilities but don’t try to put others down.

Do you agree with me so far? Can you take some time out and analyze yourself on these critical parameters? Are you satisfied with your appraisal? If yes, is there a scope for improvement? If no, what are you going to do about it? By just choosing to examine yourself, your odds of achieving success have skyrocketed. Now you stand a better chance of making a significant turn in your life; a turn towards success. Now you know what you need to do in order to best impact your life. Now you are aware of your challenges. Are you ready to take the next step?

The next step is – Action. Just understanding things and concepts is not enough. You need to move further than that. Take action to improve yourself. Internalize these concepts. Turn your challenges into opportunities. Take help from your parents, friends, colleagues or teachers. Make it your mission to work on yourself. Look for the answers, direction, and guidance that you need in order to improve your chances of success. Taking an action now will enhance your life for years to come.

Remember, if you make the choice of not taking an action, the challenges that face you today will only grow bigger in size, and tackling them will become that much harder. But the choice always rests with you. It is your life after all. You write your own life script. No one else can do it for you.

By imbibing these five character traits you will develop that much talked about quality called charisma. Charisma is the ability to influence people positively. You may have noticed that all successful people are charismatic. They develop this quality over the years. Once you grasp this power it can never be taken away from you, but like every other good thing it takes deep willingness on your part to achieve it.

So, wake up. Hone your ability to speak well. Sharpen your listening skills. Master your persuasive talent and stop sitting on the fence. Do you have the courage to do all this? Are you ready to make the change right now? Remember, that deep inside you, you have the capability of dealing with all your challenges. When a challenge is placed in front of you, the mechanisms of dealing with it are also revealed to you. Just show your willingness and let your inner self guide you. If roadblocks come your way, as they certainly would; believe that they are there to strengthen you.

As always, expect SUCCESS!

Advanc'edge MBA March 2008

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Walk the Talk

“Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”
–John C. Maxwell, Author of ‘Developing the Leader within You’

Most of us pay a lot of attention to our communication skills and that is very desirable indeed. But we usually forget the fact that our body is also a communication tool. The fact is that 99% of people are unaware of the way they project themselves to others. However, the transfer of information through body language takes place nonetheless.

Experts in the field of communication often quote the 55/38/7 ‘Rule’ that states;
Research has shown that people derive only about 7% of the meaning of a
communication from the words per se which the speaker uses (verbalised emotion), about 38% is based on the tone of the voice the speaker uses, and over 55% from the speaker’s body language. Another general rule states that the spoken word carries about 15 % of the total information being exchanged, while body language carries the remaining 85%. Whichever rule we follow, it is clear that our body language outweighs our words in importance by a large margin. Unfortunately we pay all our attention to the spoken word and neglect to acknowledge our body’s language.

Experts also maintain that words carry only information; while body language carries emotions as well. If you want to know what kind of relationship two people have, watch their body language, rather than listen to their word.

Our education lays a lot of stress on spoken word and we spend a lot of time and energy mastering it. While speaking we must also remember that our voice, that carries these ‘all important’ words, is an important part of our personality. We use it to express many subtleties that go beyond the literal meaning of our words. What we say can mean many different things, depending on which voice tone we use. Politicians, leaders and speakers from various fields understand the importance of their voice as a tool to influence others and hire voice coaches. We need to use a soft, well modulated voice to convey our confidence in ourselves.

It is easy to learn the spoken word, it is not so difficult to train our voice; but controlling body language takes a lot more than that. The fact is that most of our postures and gestures are carried out without our being conscious of them. The body creates such gestures and movements because all its actions are governed and controlled by thoughts. Any movement means that some thought that exists in the mind is being expressed. Everything that our body does conveys something. That is why the body movements are called, ‘thoughts in motion.’

If our spoken word is in alignment with our sub-conscious thoughts, our body language reinforces our words. Problems occur when our spoken word and our body language are in conflict with each other. It implies that what we are saying is not true, because our body can not lie. Our body conveys our true, deep thoughts.

So how do we control our body language? Is it completely beyond our control? Fortunately that is not the case? We can control our movements to some extent by being aware of our body’s language and by paying attention to it.

There are some golden rules of conveying a positive impression, using our body.

1. Always look at someone directly in their eyes during a conversation. This may seem difficult at first but it is definitely the number one body language ingredient to make you successful when interacting with others. Looking directly into someone’s eyes does not mean that you stare at them. In fact, never ever stare at someone. The trick lies in tracing the inverted triangle formed by the speaker’s eyes and nose, and letting your gaze move around in that area.

Normally, you need to maintain eye contact for around 60-70% of the time during an interaction; any longer and you run the risk of making the other person feel self conscious or uncomfortable. Remember that you want to convey a feeling of comfort and genuine trust in yourself. Any more eye contact than this and you can be perceived as too intense, any less and you can give off a sense of disinterest in them.

2. Always stand up straight. You should not slouch. Not only does this make you appear shorter but it projects you as a person with low self-esteem. Good posture isn’t about standing at tin-soldier attention either; it’s about carrying yourself so you look as if you have a spine and a purpose. The key to walking tall is, knowing where you are going.

Your posture can have a significant impact on how you feel. Look at your posture as a subconscious reflection of your state of mind. Next time you notice you’re feeling a bit down or low, take a look at how you are standing or sitting. Chances are you will be slouched over, with your shoulders drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can make you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

3. A smile can give any one an instant facelift. Smile is your most powerful body signal. Though it is not recommended to smile constantly (it will convey the impression that you are searching for approval), you should make an effort to appear happy and optimistic.

4. When speaking to someone, it is important to use body movements but avoid making rapid, repetitive gestures. Picture someone who is nervous while speaking in the public; this is exactly what you are not aiming for.

Your arms are a direct indication of how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with. The more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use big movements with your arms. The quieter you are the less you tend to move your arms away from your body. Strive to keep your movements somewhere in between the two. This will project you in the best possible light.

When gesturing, imagine a box that goes from your chin to your waist and is as wide as your shoulders. Keep all your gestures within that box. Make sure when you move your hands, that they remain closer to your body than your elbows are. Thus your hand movements will appear controlled and unthreatening.

It is important to keep your arms out to the sides of your body or behind your back, if you are standing and interacting. This displays a sense that you are comfortable and confident with your surroundings or situation.

Avoid crossing your arms while speaking. This makes you unapproachable and conveys a host of negative behavior. People read this as a defensive, nervous gesture. You might not feel that way; it might simply be a position you find comfortable, but perceptions are very important in any communication.

Don’t ever point with your fingers. It reminds people of being scolded. Use your whole hand and gesture with an open palm when you need to indicate something.

5. Legs are the most difficult parts of our bodies to consciously control. It is also no accident that they are the farthest from our brain. They tend to move around a lot more than normal when we are stressed, nervous, or being deceptive. Try your best to quiet your body and keep your legs as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings.

Be conscious and careful how you are crossing your legs. Should you cross at the knees or the ankles? It is best to avoid crossing your legs, and under no circumstances put one leg completely over your other knee. This position is known as the ‘Figure Four’ and is perceived as a defensive posture. However, you may cross your legs at the ankles if that makes you comfortable.

6. Learning how to position your head when interacting with others can be a tremendous tool to have. It can be a very effective and versatile resource, depending on the message you wish to convey.

When you want to feel confident and self assured, keep your head leveled, both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and want your word to be taken seriously.

Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in a listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or the other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in conversation. This is interpreted as respectfully listening with interest.

7. Touching your face, and scratching around the mouth or cheek area, are considered a dead giveaway. These gestures imply that you are lying; and even under the best of circumstances, look kind of weird and gross.

Finally, it is all very well to learn some of these positive body signals, but like I mentioned earlier, body can not lie. Its language comes from the subconscious and we can not fake it for long, and all the time. If you want to have sustained success, it has to come from within. You have to look at the big picture. If you lack confidence or self-esteem, or if you possess a negative attitude, first work on these areas. As you begin to transform these inner beliefs, your body will speak a different language. What is more important is that it will be a real, true part of you. The following quote says it all.

“It’s never too late to be, what you might have become.”
- George Eliot, Famous Victorian Novelist
Advanc’edge MBA, March 2007, Chitra Jha

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