Your Personality Affects Your Chances Of Success

Your personality is your calling card. You carry it with you all the time. And yes, your success in any endeavor, including an admission in one of the IIMs, is determined by your personality.

There are some factors in your personality that you cannot do much about. For example, you can’t grow any taller (or shorter!) now; you cannot help your complexion (despite all the whitening creams!) There are many other cosmetic factors that require a lot of money and surgical expertise to correct, but these should not be of much concern to you.

You have to learn to shape, re-shape, and fine-tune your personality traits to such an extent that physical appeal should be enhanced despite all these so called God given short comings.

To be able to effectively do that, first you need to look at yourself objectively, identify your weak areas and work upon them. You must also look at your strengths and build upon them. It is always helpful to know our true selves and our personalities.

Our personalities are influenced by the way we manage our emotions. All of us are influenced by our emotions at one time or another. Emotions make us human. In fact Emotional Quotient is being considered as more important than Intelligence Quotient in most corporate circles. Emotions determine our behavior. The problems occur when instead of controlling our emotions, we are controlled by them.

Most of us remain in danger of being led by our emotions, but people with an emotional personality get easily influenced by emotions. They may get up one morning feeling depressed and follow that feeling throughout the day. Or they may wake up feeling angry, wanting to shout at someone, and end up doing just that. Someday, they may start feeling sorry for themselves, and sulk the entire day. They don’t know that they can control and manage these emotions to their advantage. The way we handle our emotions, determines our personality type.

There are four basic personality types. These are:-

Choleric

People with choleric personality are born leaders. They are emotional and enthusiastic about their achievements. One of their major strengths is that they can get a lot accomplished in a given time. Their major drawback is that they tend to get bossy at times. They are goal-oriented, and motivated by new ideas and challenges. They always have a plan and move towards it with diligence.


Phlegmatic

People with phlegmatic personalities usually do not show any emotions. They are more logical. They don’t get easily excited. Sometimes they come across as being ‘emotionally dead’. They are usually dull and bland about everything. They are generally ‘low-key’ type of people.


Sanguine

Sanguine personality types are the most emotional type of them all. They are bubbly and seem to bounce through life. When a Sanguine personality enters a room, it draws everyone’s attention. Such a person can be heard above everyone else in a crowded room.
Their major drawback is that they have a tendency to get on other’s nerves, but they themselves don’t notice it. They are so full of fun and energy that they are oblivious to anything other than having a good time. They are not very disciplined. They never make plans and even if they do they can’t remember it for more than five minutes. They are the ones who park their car in a parking lot and can not remember where they had parked it. The best part is that they don’t even worry about it. In fact they find it rather funny. They are always full of such funny stories to entertain others.

Melancholy

Melancholy personalities have the most trouble with depression. They are the deep people. They are the thinkers and the organizers. They are so organized that everything about them reeks of order. They believe that there is a time and place for everything and everything should belong to its place. They are really neat people. They always have a plan and they follow it to a T.

Most of us are a blend of two or more of such personality types. However, one of these traits is the most dominant one in us. Rest all are our sub-personalities that raise their head now and then. It is during those times when we surprise ourselves and others by behaving in a non-characteristic fashion. Can you find your own dominant personality type now?

You may well ask how my success depends upon my personality. The pathway to success lies in being ‘balanced’. Whatever personality type you are, you need to find a balance. Whether we like it or not we are in this world where challenge upon challenge confronts us, circumstances restrain us and our inner self mocks, sneers or cheers us (depending upon the circumstances!). Each day brings new battles whether we want them or not, and whether we are up to them or not. In such a scenario, the only thing that we can choose is- our response. And our response is determined by our personality. A balanced personality, responds with ‘responsibility’. (Responsibility means the ability to respond).

Our thoughts, our feelings and our behaviors are inextricably linked with our personality. Any activity in one area influences the other areas.



For example, let us say that you have decided to improve your vocabulary. Such an improvement will help you understand complicated issues and will also give you confidence to talk more professionally at work. This increased confidence would naturally make you feel better about yourself and also enhance your job opportunities. So you study a vocabulary book, and you learn new words and terms. But when you try to use a new word around another person, your sub-personality laughs and tells you that you sound phony. In a second your confidence collapses. Self-doubt creeps in. You start fumbling for words and feel miserable.
Once you learn how your personality is sabotaging your progress, you will be better equipped to keep your sub-personalities under control. You will become adept at getting a grip on life and becoming the person you most want to be.
Our Vedas say that self knowledge is the only true knowledge. I couldn’t agree more because all other knowledge is subservient to self knowledge.
Discover this truth for yourself and expect success.

Advanc'edge MBA, January 2008

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Mind Your Language On The Road To Success

Cracking the CAT and receiving an interview call from any of the IIMs can be the most exhilarating moment of one’s life. It is no small feat to be amongst the best and the brightest of this vast country. It is all very well to seize the moment and cherish its sweetness, but (well, I’m sorry for spoiling your party) the real challenge lies ahead of you. Being part of the smart set is one thing but beating them to forge ahead, is another ballgame.

As always, understanding the purpose of ‘the powers that be’ at these hallowed institutions is paramount to winning the race. Which qualities in the candidates make them separate the wheat from the chaff? Which magic factor decides who is in and who is out?

First point to drive home is that as opposed to CAT, which is an elimination test, the GD and PI are selection processes. What this implies is that from one group of GD candidates, all, some or none may be chosen. So you are not really trying to be one up on the others in your group. Instead you need to understand the scope of some winsome qualities, cultivate them and project them on the D day, to carry your team along with you.

CAT is a managerial aptitude test, but IIMs are not looking for future managers alone. In fact they are looking for visionary leaders. GDs offer a tremendous opportunity for the natural leadership qualities to emerge and PI can deftly elicit a person’s vision. No wonder these two form such an important aspect of the overall selection process.

So how do we make sure that we come across as leaders with a vision? Let us understand the working of a GD first (we will handle the PI in the next issue).

A group discussion is simply an informal discussion amongst a group of candidates belonging to the same age group and possessing similar aptitude (as proven by CAT). A group generally comprises six to ten candidates, who have the full freedom to discuss their views on a given subject in the manner they please. This exercise gives the examiners an opportunity to assess the personality traits of many candidates within the same time frame.

The beauty of this unstructured process is that whenever a group of human beings is given a common task within a set time limit, the group dynamics soon finds a leader or leaders. Those who have natural leadership traits in them display their inborn talents and automatically takeover as leaders, thus enabling the selectors to gauge everyone’s leadership quotient. Simultaneously, several important personality characteristics of the candidates can be observed when they are engaged in the discussion, and their guard is lowered.

A most common misconception is that you must speak as much as you can and as many times. Yes, you must speak, but as it happens most often, people tend to speak at the same time, thus creating mayhem but no winners. In such a situation, a leader raises his voice above the din and says, ‘Friends, may I have your kind attention for a few seconds please. Unless we co-operate and express our views one at a time, we will get no where. Since we have limited time, we may not be able to complete our task. So let’s proceed systematically.’ By doing this he displays a noticeable sense of responsibility as well as good initiative. His talents for planning and organisation come into play since he refers to the time and task elements. He speaks with confidence and proves successful in gaining the attention of the entire group. He uses persuasion and tact in good measure to guide others. He wants to carry the team with him and achieve the group’s goals with the cooperation of all.

Another important point is to learn to disagree agreeably. You must remain polite in the face of any provocation whatsoever. Losing your cool or getting emotional about any topic is a strict no-no. Statements such as,’ You have presented an interesting view point, however I beg to differ…’ ‘ I would have readily accepted your argument except for the fact that this approach is not of much help...’,’Perhaps you are right but let us examine the issue from a different angle…’ help create a congenial environment and project you as a person who handles opposition with tact, ease and determination.

All this can be achieved only if you speak fluently and convincingly. Speaking is an art that can be acquired by regular practice. You cannot probably speak on a subject unless you know it thoroughly; knowledge of the subject is a great asset (after all you can’t blow an uncertain trumpet!), but this asset can be put to use only when you possess the power of expression. Speaking to a group is different from public speaking or speaking in a debate. Here you need to talk intimately, yet audibly. Do not shout or mumble. Pronounce your words clearly. The way you speak determines the leadership that you command. Your manner of delivery, style and the substance helps you rise above mediocrity.

Besides coming across as a well informed person who enjoys a good grasp over the subject, you should approach the topic objectively and rationally. You should be able to advance authentic and convincing reasons in support of your arguments and conclusions. You should assert yourself, without being aggressive. You need to project yourself as a team person, working towards a common goal.

Ability to exhibit courage and intellectual integrity in speaking out your honest convictions goes a long way, especially if you go by facts and merit of the case. Dynamism, resourcefulness, and coordinating abilities are an added advantage. A positive approach is like the icing on a cake.

Flexibility in approach is another great asset. Rigidity on any front should be kept at bay. Being hasty, rash and intolerant are traits to be avoided like plague. Your ego needs should be kept in control. Your arguments should not precipitate rifts and splits in the group. Don’t talk aimlessly and endlessly.



Your success in GD depends not merely on the knowledge of the subject under discussion, or your gift of gab but also on your ability to inspire and motivate the group and carry the group mates with you. Knowledge is the foundation, your oratorical skills the starting point; but it is the leadership ability that helps you build an edifice on the foundation, and reach the finishing point as a sure winner. This is the underlying secret of success in GD, which is actually a personality test.

In a nutshell, you must be able to create a strong as well as favourable impact on your group. Please remember that if you speak with great fluency, authority and emphasis using flowery language for some length of time, you would certainly create an impact and attract the attention of the group. But what makes the difference is whether this impact has been favourable, congenial and harmonious or not. In other words a strong impression does not always translate into positive impact. If a strong impact turns out to be unfavourable amongst your group mates, you will be assessed as a person with negative personality traits. It is therefore more important to ensure that the impact created is positive, even if it is only marginally strong. It is also important to remember that if you are unable to create any impact whatsoever, you will be regarded as a person with poor leadership attributes.

The mark of leadership shows in attributes such as initiative, intelligence, patience, tolerance, crisis management, tact and most important of all the faculty of speech that has the innate quality of being listened to without anyone daring to interrupt. Leaders are born but a few can grow to be leaders by systematic practice.

John C. Maxwell puts it very succinctly, “A leader knows the way, goes the way and shows the way.”

All the very best!


Advanc’edge MBA, January 2007, Chitra Jha

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Success and You- Part 6

Have you been doing the exercise of appreciating your body parts?
Why should you do it?
What are the benefits that will accrue from this simple, enjoyable exercise?

Some of these benefits are:-

You will feel more energetic.
Your body will develop immunity to illness.
You will feel more confident.
You will broadcast this confidence to the world.
Others will form good impression of you (after all, it is your own innermost thoughts that get reflected back to you).
You will take your first step towards being successful at what ever you do.

Remember Aldous Huxley’s famous quote,

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self."

So what have you learnt until now?
Is it doing any good to you?
Do you have any questions for me?
Do you have any questions for yourself?

P. S. I have a lot of questions for you. You just need to be willing to look for the answers inside you. Are you willing?

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Success and You- Part 6

Have you been doing the exercise of appreciating your body parts?
Why should you do it?
What are the benefits that will accrue from this simple, enjoyable exercise?

Some of these benefits are:-

You will feel more energetic.
Your body will develop immunity to illness.
You will feel more confident.
You will broadcast this confidence to the world.
Others will form good impression of you (after all, it is your own innermost thoughts that get reflected back to you).
You will take your first step towards being successful at what ever you do.

Remember Aldous Huxley’s famous quote,

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self."

So what have you learnt until now?
Is it doing any good to you?
Do you have any questions for me?
Do you have any questions for yourself?

P. S. I have a lot of questions for you. You just need to be willing to look for the answers inside you. Are you willing?

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Success and YOU- Part 5

Do you believe in your uniqueness now?
Does it feel any good?

To believe in yourself, you have to first start appreciating your body. Here is an exercise that you must do every day, either first thing in the morning, or before going to bed. Lie down or sit with your eyes closed. Visualize each area of your body, (starting with your head and ending up with your toes) one part at a time, as perfectly as you can. Appreciate its beauty. Thank it for supporting you in its own unique way. And bathe it in (imaginary) white light of love. The whole exercise will take about 10 minutes of your time but the benefits will be tremendous. Look at yourself in the mirror after this exercise. You will find brightness in your eyes and a glow on your face. Your body cells are rejoicing in your appreciative love. They are ready to work at their optimum level for you. Don’t you work with extra enthusiasm when you are being appreciated? Same is true for your cells as well. It takes only a little ‘extra’ to become ‘extra-ordinary’ from your ‘ordinary’ self. Think about it.

You don’t have to take my word for it. Try it out for yourself. All I can say is that IT WORKS. It has been proven on so many people in so many experiments that now there is no doubt in my mind about its efficacy. (Soon there would be no doubt in your mind either!)

All you have to remember is that it takes about 21 days for any new programming to become ingrained in our DNA. So don’t give up before that. After that it will become a second nature to you and miracles will start happening in your life.

P.S. Do you believe in miracles? I DO. I experience them all the time.

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Success and YOU- Part 4

Have you ever thought of your mind as being a broadcasting and receiving station?

The truth is that we are broadcasting our innermost thoughts and receiving the world’s collective thoughts 24x7.

Think about it, if this concept is new to you. Does it resonate with you?

Yes, we broadcast our innermost impressions about ourselves to others all the time. That is why they form the same impression about us that we have of our own selves in the deep recess of our minds. Hence if I look in the mirror and don’t approve of my looks, when others look at me they won’t approve of my looks either (because deep inside me, I am convinced that I don’t look good, and I am broadcasting this conviction).

If that be the case, how can we correct these impressions? How can we make people form a good impression about us? It may sound simplistic, but most profound truths are actually simple. The way to make others form a good impression about you is; to first form a good impression about yourself!

How do you do that? You do that by believing in yourself.

Start believing that you are a unique being. You have brought in your own unique gifts to this world.

We are not clones of each other. We are different from each other just as every other creation in the universe is. Our power and our beauty lie in our differences. Let that be clear in your head.

Now just reading this message of uniqueness does nothing to us. At best your mind will agree with it (most probably it won’t!). After all you have been looking at yourself in the mirror and finding faults with your facial features, your hair, your skin, your height, your posture, just about everything (you will be surprised to know that even the film stars and famous models are not really completely appreciative of how they look.)

What will make you believe in your uniqueness? What will make you love yourself? Do give it a thought. Jot down all that you appreciate in yourself. Also jot down what others appreciate about you. You will be surprised by what you discover!

P.S. Be generous with yourself. Give yourself a thumping report.

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Success and YOU, Part 3

Have you discovered your truth?
Are you willing to discover it now?
Are you ready to take this journey of self- discovery with me?

Let us start with our physical environment and the most important component of this environment is our body.

Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Describe the image that you see. Are you happy with this image? There is a saying, ‘as within so without’. Your mirror is reflecting your self image back to you.

We identify ourselves with our body. Our body is the vehicle of our personality. People look at our body and form impressions about us. The funny part is that what we see in the mirror and the impression that we form about our bodies is the impression that we broadcast to the world.

How does that happen? Science has proven the fact that we, including all the matter and space in between, are made up of energy. There is nothing else but energy in this universe. If you and I clasp our hands in a handshake and our clasped hands are seen under a powerful microscope, the boundaries of two hands seem blurred. All that can be seen are only some electrons flitting around. Yes, our bodies are made up of energy (just as every thing else around us). Einstein had said this in the last century but the Quantum physics has ample proof of it now. So we are all energy, and we are boundary-less. We are all connected. We are all one. No wonder we can’t fool people all the time, just as we can’t fool ourselves all the time!

Feel this oneness with everything and everyone around you. You will discover more of you by developing this awareness.

P.S. - I already feel connected to you. Do you feel this connection as well?

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Success and You, Part-2

Did you make a list of all that you see, feel and experience in your life everyday?
Great! Are you wondering how did you manage to attract all this?
Do you understand now that your ‘environment’ needs some ‘management’?

To achieve your full potential, and be abundantly successful, you need to learn to manage your ‘environment’.

Our environment encompasses three major areas. These are:-

Physical environment
Mental environment
Spiritual environment

Physical environment

Our body
Our house
Our street
Our locality
Our work place
Our city
Our country
Our world

Mental environment

Our past conditioning
Our current thoughts
Our education
Our reading habits
Our cultural influence
Our family dynamics
Our friends
Our working environment / office dynamics

Spiritual environment

Our understanding of the laws of the universe
Our readiness to apply these laws in life

An insight into all these areas reveals a lot about ‘who we are’ and ‘who we are becoming’. It also determines our current life situation and empowers us to choose our destiny.

A Life Skills Coach helps you in this journey of self discovery; offering advice and suggestions at each stage, and at every level. Please remember that I do not claim to have all the answers, but I am a keen learner on this path of self discovery, having experimented with my own life. My life has been my laboratory, and I will propagate only those theories that have been proven to work for me and all the other people I have worked with, including my two grown up sons. I advice you not to take my word (or anybody’s word for that matter) as gospel truth. Listen to my advice and try it out for yourself. If it resonates with you, apply it in your life; and be ready for a metamorphosis. (Yes, I am that confident about it.)

Close your eyes and deep breathe three times. Ask your ‘inner self’ if it is ready for this life altering experience? Listen for the answer. If you get a definite, positive feeling in your heart, you are ready. And as they say, when the student is ready, the master appears. Do you believe in this saying? I DO, because I have experienced it.

P.S. Remember, no teacher is more effective than your own personal experience. So learn to respect all your experiences, whether pleasant or unpleasant. They carry your personal TRUTH.

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Success and YOU-1

What does success mean to you?
Why do you want to be successful?
What do you want to achieve in life?
What is the real purpose of your life?
Do you feel that you are just drifting along?
Do you get up in the morning sighing loudly that you have to face yet another day?
Are you rudderless?

If your answer to any of these questions is ambiguous, then you need to take charge of your life. Your life is a precious gift. You need to unwrap it with love and discover the beauty inherent in it. How would you do that? If you would allow it, I am willing to help you.

Who the hell are you? You may ask. Well, I am a ‘Life Skills Coach’. I firmly believe that each human being has been programmed for excellence. Hence excellence in all endeavors is our birth right. If we do not achieve excellence in every sphere of our life, we are short-charging ourselves. We are denying our full glory to ourselves; and we are doing injustice to the humanity at large by not achieving our full potential.

You must be wondering, what is wrong with this woman? Doesn’t she see poverty, inefficiency, corruption, selfishness, unemployment, inequality, sickness all around her? You are right. I do see all that you see, but I look at it differently. I look at all the ills of the society as the manifestation of our diseased thoughts. Our individual and collective thoughts of sickness, lack, fear of illness, fear of poverty, inferiority etc get reflected in our environment.

So look around you. What is being reflected in your environment? Make a note of all that you see, feel and experience everyday, and know that you have attracted all of this in your life.

P.S. This exercise is a great eye-opener. It reveals a lot about us and our way of thinking. It is the first step towards self-awareness.

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Mother Tongue Influence On English

A lot of people refer to mother tongue ‘influence’ on English, as mother tongue ‘influenza’ and have a good laugh at others’ expense. Of all the influences, the mother tongue influence is the most difficult to get rid of, or so we believe! In my Verbal Ability sessions, I invariably come across people who carry around an inferiority complex, just because they speak English with a mother tongue influence.

When I tell them that I come from a vernacular medium school and couldn’t converse in English even while in college, they refuse to believe me. ‘But Ma’am you have a perfect English accent’. I tell them about my own battles with mother tongue influence (in my case a dual influence of Punjabi and UP Hindi). My Punjabi teachers couldn’t pronounce ‘measure’, ‘pleasure’, ‘treasure’, ‘support’, ‘develop’ etc, and my UPite father could not say ‘school’ or ‘zero’. We (my siblings and I) grew up saying ‘meayure’, ‘pleayure’, ‘treayure’ ‘sport’, ‘devolp’, ‘iskool’ and ‘jero’ . But when we went out into the world (in my case Kolkata) for further studies, we were old enough to keep our ears open to correct any pronunciation errors that we inadvertently made. I can only speak for myself (though my siblings are as fluent speakers as I am). If I was not sure about the pronunciation of a certain word, I would ask, practice, and learn (I do it even now). After all any language is learnt over a lifetime!

You can never proclaim to know all the words or their correct pronunciation, especially in English. English is an evolving language. New words keep getting added to it virtually on a daily basis. There are a lot of French, Spanish, German, Chinese, Japanese and even Indian words being added to English, much to the horror of purists! Now can any one say that I have mastered English? We are all learners. The only difference is that we are placed at different levels of learning.

When we make mistakes in our own mother tongue (or even our national language for that matter), these are taken as ‘oh, s/he can’t speak her tongue’. No one cares if you can’t speak your native language. But English is something else; it is the language of commerce and higher learning. Not being able to converse in impeccable English marks one as someone not up to the mark. I wonder if it has something to do with our colonial hangover, or the ‘us’ and ‘them’ syndrome of ‘class consciousness’. (Now don’t think that I am anti-English or something. On the contrary, since I belong to a Pan-Indian family, English happens to be our family tongue now.)

The first step towards limiting this unwanted influence (it is difficult to overcome overnight) is by acknowledging the problem. If we are ready to admit to ourselves and to others that we have a problem, and solicit everyone’s help in correcting us by pointing out our errors, our language will soon improve. But this effort requires a lot of courage, and deep willingness on our part. Listening to English news, reading aloud (to hear your own voice), paying attention when others are speaking, and making continuous effort to correct yourself, go a long way in helping overcome mother tongue influence.

I take pleasure in the fact that the Americans chose to defy Standard English language of the British and got away with it. A country as financially strong as USA could do it. They made American English a new standard. Similarly Australians speak English in their own peculiar way. Why, even the Queen’s own country doesn’t follow a single way of pronouncing a word. Each region of England has its own special influence. Now what do you call that influence? Their mother tongue is English, so it can’t be called ‘Mother tongue influence’, at best you can call it ‘regional influence’. So you see while none of these people are under pressure to improve their pronunciations and grammar; we Indians have become the torch bearers for ‘Queen’s English’. Why?

Why can’t we just relax, and learn to speak deliberately in as much a neutral accent as possible? We should have the confidence that as we practice more, we will eventually become proficient in speaking so called ‘Public School’ English. The purpose of any language is to communicate. When we speak slowly and deliberately we can be understood better. In case someone still doesn’t understand a particular word, we can always spell it out for them. We need to be willing to give ourselves and others time to learn these skills. We need to be patient with each other.

The day is not far when India would be a Superpower. That day we will not feel inferior to any one because of our mother-tongue-influence. We will be proud of it. (We have already started feeling proud of our cuisine, customs, and Indian-ness). Words like ‘pre-pone’, ‘redressal’, and ‘wheatish complexion’, expressions like ‘I am understanding it’, ‘She is knowing the answer’, preposition usage like, ‘discuss about’, ‘pay attention on’ and frequent use of question tags like, ‘you are going, no?’ etc (I could go on and on, but I guess you’ve got the drift.) will become a part of Standard Indian English that we will expect the world to understand. I am waiting for such a day to dawn. That will be the new ‘Freedom’ day!

People wonder why I proclaim my disadvantaged background to others. Why can’t I just feel superior (la-di-lah!) about my current levels of communication skills? I could do that; but my kick lies in letting people know that if I could do it, they can do it too!

Times Ascent, 02/01/08, Chitra Jha

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