Forge Ahead With Gusto!

‘Growth’ is the fundamental right of all living beings. We look forward to growth in our jobs, our relationships, our stature, and life in general. Growth at workplace encompasses all other growths as we define ourselves by our jobs and our designations in today’s world. Understandably our energies and efforts get focused on our move up the ladder of corporate hierarchy.

The best part is that while we are focused on our growth, our organizations are focused on it as well. In their scheme of things, we play an important role as future potential leaders. If that be so, why is it that most of us (and our companies) are frustrated in our efforts? What is sabotaging our collective interest?

According to an IBM study, companies in Asia Pacific region are the ones most concerned about their ability (or inability) to develop future leaders. According to the same study, United States’ concern about the same issue is considerably lower. (Perhaps they are confident of their ability to lure the right material from around the world!)

What do you think is the solution for us? How do we get out of this mess and improve our market value? Over centuries we have been enslaved by feudal lords, invading armies, and foreign sovereigns. As a result we are very good at enduring hardships, working hard, burning the mid-night oil and all that the minions are supposed to do, but we (the majority of us) are incapable of being effective leaders. Even our education system does not prepare us for that!

So what do we do? Let me suggest some ways of getting back on track with our progress.

Let us first get one thing clear in our collective sub-conscious – Great leaders are made and not born. So with adequate desire and willpower any one of us can be a leader, an effective one. We can hone our leadership skills through a continuous process of introspection, knowledge of the self, education, practice, and experience. Like they say, ‘In order to have more, you have to be more.’

There are certain things that we must be, do, or know to move up in any sphere of our lives. These things do not just fall in our lap; we need to continually strive to be more, to do more, and to know more. We need to continually work and study to improve ourselves. (Note my repeated use of the word ‘continuous’ in its various avatars. The opposite of this word is ‘stagnant’. Now take your pick.)

Well, I forgot to ask you, how do you define the role of a leader? According to the ethos of the Indian Army, ‘A leader is a person who leads from the front.’, the corporate world puts it in different words, ‘A leader leads by example.’ Both mean the same thing. In essence, a leader walks the talk. Is a ‘boss’ always a leader? The power bestowed upon a person as a part of his/her position of authority can make that person a ‘boss’, but not a ‘leader’. The leaders believe in the dictum, ‘Abundance to all, lack to none.’ They build people as opposed to bosses who just boss around.

So how does one become a leader? There is one theory that states that some traits in us, such as courage of conviction, strong belief in values, and a commitment to growth help us grow as a leader. Some say that a trigger of some sort, say a great loss or crisis, makes the dormant leader in us emerge to take up the challenge. I believe that people can simply ‘choose’ to be leaders. You might call it a simplistic theory, but I have seen it work in my own life.

Your life is a sum total of the choices that you make in each moment. Your today is a reflection of choices that you made till yesterday. In any given moment you are free to choose differently and transform your life. (I have done that with mine.) So, if you want to move up the value chain and you are serious about it, just change your thoughts.

Your thoughts are potent. Don’t underestimate them. They are packed with the power to create. Unleash that power now for your unprecedented growth. I assure you, you will never look back.

So the mantra of being successful is to EXPECT SUCCESS!


The Times Ascent, 21 November 2007, Chitra Jha

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Goal: The Energy Source That Powers Our Lives

We all know the importance of setting goals. We do set them from time to time but some how we don’t seem to achieve them. Why is it that most of us fail at achieving our goals? What stops us before we reach the summit?

In my experience this failure happens because most of the times our goals are not really ours. They have been imposed upon us by others, and we are made to believe that this is what we should want, or aim for. Our immediate environment sets our goals for us and when we try to achieve these ‘externally determined’ goals, we fail. Is it any surprise then that we fail? Unless we can put our heart and soul into our goals we can’t win. And when do we put our heart and soul into something? When we love doing it; when it is our passion; when it is our dharma (another name for our purpose in life).

Now how do we find our passion or our dharma- the purpose of our lives? It is very simple; our passion lies in what we love to do. Take out a paper and a pen, yes do it right now; and write down all the things that you LOVE to do (leisure activity as well as work). E.g. I love watching TV. I love playing with my dog. I love reading books. I love listening to music. I love working on a computer. Whatever it is that you love doing, just jot it down. Don’t think of anything as too trivial, unimportant or a time waster (you may have been told all that by others!). If you love doing it, it is worth doing. After all it is about you, your passion, your purpose, your life and your goals. Go ahead, do this exercise. It will take only five minutes. You don’t need to think, you don’t need to cook up some so called ‘done things’ or politically correct interests. This is not a ‘B-school interview’. This is between you and YOU. Once you have made a list of all that you love, analyse your interests and build a career around them. (E.g. if you love making friends and meeting new people: you will do well in PR jobs.) Probe around, there may be an existing career that may fit in with your interests, or you may have to think of doing something on your own. But understand that this is your life’s goal. No matter what anyone else tells you! The love for these things was put inside you for some purpose. Your dharma is to fulfil that purpose. Once you have determined your purpose, the whole universe will conspire to make it happen, co-incidences will occur and you will move towards your labour of love. But you will need to take some action and the right time to take that action is NOW.

Picture yourself in your new career. Notice your feelings. Does it feel good? Do you feel joy, happiness, eagerness and certainty of achievement? If yes, you are on the right path. If not, you need to review your list.

You may need to enhance your skills to achieve your goal. Do whatever it takes to get there. Learn a new language; undertake a study course, whatever. Just don’t let this goal out of your sight. Write it down on a credit card size piece of white card and keep it in your wallet. Carry your goal with you wherever you go. Read it as many times as you can. Let it seep into your subconscious. Own your goal and see the magic happen.

Goal setting is such a simple exercise and it takes only ten minutes to carry out. Then why is it that so many of us don’t set our goals? I think it is because of fear. This fear has its roots in poor self-esteem and under-confidence. The questions that bother us are- what if I am wrong? What if this is not really my goal? What if I do not achieve this goal? What will my parents say? How will my friends react? There is no money in this profession. Sure I love doing it, but I can’t earn my livelihood from it. There are too many nagging, nibbling, paralysing thoughts that don’t let us take any determined action and we just drift by, propelled by what our external circumstances determine for us. No wonder most of us remain frustrated throughout our lives. Come on you won’t let life just happen to you; you will ‘make it happen’. You will take charge. You will be a doer and a dreamer rolled into one. You will witness life’s miracles. You will follow your PATH. Are you ready for the challenge?

If yes, then you need to make some commitments to yourself. These commitments are easy to make but take some efforts to sustain. I am sure you will put in that effort.

Understand your potential: - Be confident. You are a unique being with unique talents. Bring forth those talents. Let them flower.

Bring Excellence into your life: - Whatever it is that you choose to do, do it to the best of your ability. Being successful is a habit. If you are successful in small endeavours, such as polishing your shoes to give them a great shine (try it, it is very satisfying and you will feel proud of yourself). Yes, success in such small mundane endeavours propels you to success in higher spheres. Rate everything that you do on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 means ‘very shabby’ and 10 means ‘excellent’. Your satisfaction level should be at least a 9 on this scale.

Never regret the past: - Let go of the past. Whatever may have happened in the past is no longer relevant to you. Don’t dwell upon it. Learn from your past mistakes and failures and move on.

Allow yourself to dream: - You must be honest with yourself about your goals, but always think big and dream even bigger. It helps you push forward.

Have a plan for achieving your goals: - You must have heard the saying that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It is so very true. You must make a written plan about how to reach your goal. Take it one step at a time.

Believe in yourself: - Confidence in your abilities and your vision is the key ingredient for achieving success. It is like driving at night. You can see only about 100 meters ahead but you reach your destination because you are confident of reaching it.

Never give up: - The role of persistence in achieving your dreams can’t be overemphasised. You want it, go get it and don’t turn back till you’ve got it. It is as simple as that.

Co-create your life and expect success.
Advanc’edge MBA, June 2007

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The Dynamics of Choices

What are the choices facing you at this moment? Either you go ahead and read this write up or you choose to skip it.

At every moment of our lives we are faced with two choices. We always choose one and move ahead. But there are times when we wonder, ‘what if I had chosen the other option?’ Life doesn’t roll back for us to experience the other path, but there is always this moment, the most important moment of our lives. This moment has the inherent power to be the turning point of our lives, if only we acknowledge and make use of this power. To change the momentum of our lives, we can choose to choose differently in any given moment.

Flora Whitmore, a Life skills Coach, says, ‘The doors we close and open each day, decide the lives we live.’ Yes, our choices empower us, or weaken us. Once we realize how our life is a sum of all the choices we have made in the past, we are jolted out of our complacence. The realization dawns on us that whatever we are, whatever situations we face, whatever we have achieved or not achieved, has been of our own choosing. We are responsible for our lives. We cannot blame other people, circumstances, luck or destiny for our problems.

With this realization we suddenly look at our lives with new eyes. If we could choose our current situations, does it mean that we are free to choose ANY other way of living? If we had the power to design our lives the way we wanted to, how cool would that be? The TRUTH is that this is the TRUTH. You are the architect of your own life, so take this wonderful opportunity to re-design and re-build your life RIGHT NOW. NOW is the RIGHT time. Do not hesitate. Do not procrastinate. Whichever form of life you lead now, you can start from just that point and from there on, at every step, witness the miracle of metamorphosis. Once you understand this profound secret, your life will be a song (and a dance!). The beauty of life will unfold itself in your life.

So what are you waiting for? Ask yourself, if time and money were no constraints, or in other words if you had all the money, all the time and no responsibilities, what is it that you would love doing? Which career would you love to pursue? Give it a thought. Now pick up a paper and a pen, and write this thought down. This is your life’s purpose statement. This is what you have come here to do. Doing this will bring you true fulfillment, in terms of happiness as well as wealth.

Have you done this exercise? How does it feel? Do you feel that rush of adrenaline, or a wave of happiness surging through you? Do you feel an odd mixture of enthusiasm and peaceful calm? If yes, you are on the right track. If not, think again. Perhaps you are not being honest with yourself. Perhaps you need some more time to think it through. After all you had never thought about life in this way before. Take your time but please do it. It is the most important exercise that you have ever undertaken in your life so far. It deserves your time, and your attention.

Now start living your life, keeping your life’s purpose in mind. You cannot change your circumstances overnight; but you can live your present life fully and cheerfully, with the confidence that your REAL life is unfolding in unknown, but certain ways. Have no doubts about that.

For most of our lives we live on autopilot. We make choices but we are not conscious of them. Sometimes others make choices for us and we accept them passively. Sometimes we protest but accept them nevertheless. No wonder our lives are in such a mess. The only way out of this morass is to choose wisely. There is a surefire test of knowing the right choice in any moment. When you make a choice, pay close attention to the sensations in your body. If you feel a sense of discomfort, it is not the right choice for you, but on the other hand if you feel a sense of well being, go ahead with your choice, with all gusto. It will feel just right –because it is so.

Remember that we are one of a kind. We are unique beings. There is no one like us. Each one of us possesses a unique talent and a unique way of expressing that talent. Once we understand and accept this TRUTH, we will be guided to make the right choices. Choices that will lead us to the right path: the path to realize our life’s purpose, the path to prosperity, the path to abundance and the path to fulfillment.

A quote by Denis Waitley, an American motivational speaker, sums it up very well.

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

Which choice will you make? Remember your choice has the potential to change your whole perspective and turn your life around!

If you need any clarifications, write to me. I am a firm believer that the buck always stops at us, and the choices that we make as we go along the way of life. Once you choose to take control of your life and be the master of your destiny, the universe would conspire to bring the choicest of its gifts to you and you will be humbled by the force of your own power. So go ahead! Unleash your power! I know that you want to do this. Otherwise you wouldn’t have read this write up.

‘And in the end it is not the years in your life that count, it is the life in your years.’
– Abraham Lincoln

Co-create your life and expect success.

Advanc’edge MBA, April 2007, Chitra Jha

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The Secret of Success

What is the definition of ‘SUCCESS’? Success means different things to different people. What ever be our definition of success, one thing holds true for most of us- the elusive nature of success. Yes, we are always almost there, never really reaching the summit. Why is it that we don’t always make it? What holds us back?

Recent scientific research has determined that there is no limit to achieving success in life; we are limited only by our own imagination. The commonsense notion, 'You are as good as you think you are’ has deep implications. The TRUTH is that our success story is actually scripted by our thoughts.What is a thought? It is an impulse of energy and information. There was a time when we used to regard thoughts as harmless, abstract activities of an over-active mind, but we have been proven wrong by science. In effect our thoughts are electrochemical triggers that produce positive or negative chemical reactions. Once we understand that our thoughts are potent and have tremendous power, we are more careful of what we think. An ancient proverb conveys this message very well; 'No one deceives us more than our own thoughts'.My god-fearing mother has her own way of making this point. She tells us that God knows only one word, and that word is 'Tathastu' or 'Amen', in other words, 'So be it'. According to her, our thoughts are our constant, unconscious prayers to God. What ever we think or say to ourselves (our inner God), He utters 'tathastu' in response. Thus our thoughts get materialised in our lives by the divine willpower. Now science has corroborated her simplistic theory that our thoughts are indeed creative. They possess an inherent power to create. All we have to do is, understand this creative process and harness its power to achieve success in our lives.Harvard University psychologist David McClelland believes that if a man can change his thoughts about his performance, he can change his actual performance.Our thoughts depend upon our internal programming. Unfortunately most of us have been negatively programmed in our growing up years. This early programming has led us to a habit of negative self-talk. When these negative thoughts get repeated over and over in our subconscious mind, they get recorded on our internal tapes without our being aware of the process, and create failures in our lives. Sociologist Robert MacIver says, "All of us carry on a constant dialogue with ourselves. We are constantly makingpredictions about what we can and cannot do. And there are quite a few of us who could do a lot more if we simply expected more of ourselves."What programming is holding you back? Have you ever been told that you are not good enough? That so and so is better than you? That you can't do anything right? That it won't work? That you don't deserve it? That you don't have it in you? Are you frequently feeding such negative inputs into your hard disc? Most of the under-performers in this world suffer from this bad habit of re-playing internal tapes, saying that they will never amount to anything, re-enforcing these negative thoughts and thus increasing thepotency of such thoughts.There is this story about a pumpkin farmer. Once he put a small pumpkin hanging by the vine in a glass jar. At harvest time he saw that all other pumpkins had grown big, but the pumpkin in the glass jar had grown equivalent only to the shape and size of the jar. Just as the pumpkin could not grow beyond the boundaries restricting it, human beings cannot perform beyond the boundaries of their self-concept, whatever it may be. Richard Bach writes, 'Argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours.'Most of us think we know our own limits. But what we 'know' isn't knowledge at all; it is belief-erroneous, self-limiting belief. And such self-limiting beliefs are the biggest obstacles to high-level performance.For many years everyone 'knew' that running a mile in less than four minutes was 'impossible'. Articles published in the journals of physiology 'proved' that the human body couldn't do it. Then, in 1954, Roger Bannister broke the four-minute barrier. Within two years ten other athletes had followed suit.This doesn't mean that there are no limits to human endeavour. The point is: we rarely really know what these limits are. Thus too many of us actually set our limits far below our true potential.Think about your current pattern of thoughts. If you are unsure, keep a log of every negative, self-limiting thought for a week. You cannot keep track of all the thoughts that enter your mind but you can register the thoughts that you dwell upon frequently. These repeated thought patterns determine whether you are in a positive or negative programming cycle. Positive programming cycles boost your 'will’ power, while negative programming cycles give a fillip to your 'won't' power.The good news is that the negative programming cycles can be re-set. Yes, these patterns can be corrected. Scientific studies have proven that all habits can be changed, if we are aggressively committed to change them.Norman Vincent Peale has said, “If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectation, you put yourself into a condition conducive to success.” So as a first step imagine yourself as a person, who must have success, responsibility, challenge and variety. Now write down all your negative thoughts and rephrase them into positive statements.

Negative Thoughts

I am not good enough.
I don’t deserve it.
There aren’t enough opportunities.

Positive Rephrases

I am good and getting better everyday.
I am a person of infinite worth and unique possibilities.
There is an abundance of opportunities.

Your subconscious is extremely literal. It takes every message at face value. So once you start re-programming your thoughts with positively worded self-talk, your subconscious will interpret it literally.Autosuggestions alter our belief system by influencing the subconscious mind. And our belief system influences our behaviour.What is autosuggestion? As the name suggests it is a suggestion made by you, about yourself, to yourself, for yourself. How can we use autosuggestion to eliminate self-limiting beliefs and develop positive ones? Autosuggestion is a tool to programme and condition our mind to change a statement into a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is a repetitive process through which we feed our subconscious with positive statements, which translate into reality.It seems easy but this paradigm shift requires a consistent effort. At first your mind will reject these autosuggestions because these new thoughts are alien to your belief system. You will feel ridiculous. Your old programming will cry foul and say 'not true' to your entire positive self-talk. Success will depend upon your ability to keep practicing it. You will need to be patient with yourself and keep repeating this process. The self-discipline to finish what you start is a key element.If thinking positive thoughts does not come easily to you, you can write them down. Make a list of your autosuggestions in the present tense. Repeat these in your mind at least twice a day. Our subconscious is most receptive in the beginning and at the end of a day. In the morning the mind is fresh and at night you can drift off to sleep thinking of positive outcomes. This process should be repeated at least for a month or until it becomes your habit.The most immediate benefit of this exercise will be a boost in your self-esteem. Within three weeks you will notice other positive changes. Eventually your thoughts will materialise into positive strokes of success.These positive autosuggestions work best if you can charge them with emotions and feelings. So when your thought reads-'I have received a raise in salary.' You must feel the emotions that would surge if it were true. You must visualise the whole process. It is like watching a film, in which you are the star. Some people dismiss such reverie as 'day dreaming' or 'wishful thinking'; and they won't be very wrong if you think that just visualising these happy thoughts is the road to success. These autosuggestions are a power packed supporting tool to all the hard work you are putting in to get there. Purposeful, single-minded pursuit of your goal encompasses hard work and positive autosuggestions.Believe with the bottom of your heart that you will achieve success and workincessantly to achieve it.
Remember-Our thoughts are causes.You sow a thought, you reap an action.You sow an action, you reap a habit.You sow a habit, you reap a character.You sow a character, you reap a destiny.It all starts with a thought.



AWWA Journal 2007, Chitra Jha

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Road To Higher Self Esteem

How many times have you done something that you are not happy about? Is there something you still feel guilty about?

These feelings keep us in a perpetual ‘victim state’ and result in our low self esteem. How hard are we with ourselves? How judgemental? How unforgiving? How critical are we about our efforts, our looks; our entire persona? Must we be so hard-hearted or should we give ourselves another chance? Must we judge ourselves so harshly? Must we take ourselves so seriously?

I strongly agree with Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous quote that ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’.

There is this part of us that determines our capability to enjoy life and achieve success. This is our ‘self image’. According to Psychologist Dr. Nathaniel Branden, ‘Our self image is who or what we think we are, consciously and unconsciously- our physical and psychological characteristics, our shortcomings and strengths.’

Our self image results in our self esteem. No human being is born with a low self esteem. Some feelings that give rise to low self esteem are- our disrespect for ourselves, feelings of guilt, fear of failure, constant comparison with others, and the constant criticism we encounter in our immediate environment.

Our circumstances and more importantly our reaction to these circumstances determine our self-esteem. And our self-esteem determines what we achieve in life.

Do you know what your ‘Self-esteem Quotient’ is? Would you like to know? Take some time to grade the following statements on the grid below.


Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Disagree
Strongly Disagree

SA
A
N
D
SD
A





B





C





D





E






I look at the sunny side of everything. (SA,A,N,D,SD)
I am as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own. (SA,A,N,D,SD)
I feel that the whole world is on my side. (SA,A,N,D,SD)
I do not forget the mistakes of the past. (SA,A,N,D,SD)
I have no time to criticize others. (SA,A,N,D,SD)

For statements A, B, C and E mark a 5 for SA, 4 for A, 3 for N, 2 for D and 1 for SD.
For statement D mark a 5 for SD, 4 for D, 3 for N, 2 for A and 1 for SA.

Check your score. If you have scored less than 18, you need to take action to boost your self esteem. If you have scored 18 and above, you are doing well. Sustain and improve yourself everyday to reach 25.

Now that we know our ‘Self Esteem Quotient’ and we also realize the importance of a high self esteem, how can we work towards improving ours?

Ways to improve your self esteem

Our looks play a major role in our self image. Take care of your looks. Always be well groomed. Wear clothes and colours that suit your personality. Step out of your home, looking your very best.
Be clear about what you want to be, do, or have. Set achievable goals. Break them down into hourly or daily goals and when you achieve them, give yourself a pat on the back or better still, treat yourself to something you like. Small successes boost our morale.
Surround your self with positive people. Positive people exude positive energy, while negative people steal your energy making you feel low.
Don’t live in the past. The past is dead and buried. The best you can do with your past is to learn lessons from it and move on.
Stop putting yourself down. Never say anything uncomplimentary about yourself. Remember self pity is our worst enemy.
Make a list of all the good deeds you have done, things you are good at, and things that make you happy.
Don’t expose your mind to negativity. Push all negative thoughts out of your mind. Always be positive about yourself. Keep reminding yourself of your good qualities. Do not brood over negative things. Take all that happens in your stride.
Accept constructive criticism without reacting to it. Don’t be defensive. Don’t get upset. Constructive criticism is like a mirror. It helps you identify your weaknesses and eliminate them one by one. However, any cynical comments must be completely ignored. Someone’s opinion of you is not the ‘real you’.
Accept failure as another chance to succeed. Failures are like parasites. If you let them, they will eat away at your self-respect and self esteem. We all need to understand that everyone fails at something or the other, at one time or another in his life. We should tell ourselves that there is always the next time.
Do not compare yourself with others, only with yourself. This is the easiest way to improve your self-esteem. Rate yourself on your achievements. Make it a point to filter out all self criticism. Don’t try to be like others. Don’t wish that you were someone else. You are a unique being. There is no one in the universe exactly like you and that is your greatest asset.
Interact with people. Come out of your shell. Give compliments to others on their good attributes and when you receive a compliment, accept it with a sincere ‘thank you’.
Be assertive about your rights. Treat others with respect and expect to be treated with respect.
Sit up straight. Your posture determines your confidence level and vice-versa. Walk with your shoulders thrown back and your chest puffed up. That way you breathe better and it ensures that you feel more confident. Try it now and note the difference in your self-image.
Think of yourself as the most important person in your life and treat yourself as that. Love yourself. Respect yourself. If you believe in yourself, you will be amazed at what all you can achieve.
Learn to do things for fun. Do things that make you feel happy.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Loosen up.
Don’t blame others for your problems. Take responsibility for your own actions. Put all excuses aside.

If you put these principles into practice, there is no stopping you. So what is stopping you from doing it now?

But while you ride your high horse, always remember Nathaniel Branden’s words, ‘Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is in being who they are, not in being better than someone else.’

Co-create your destiny and expect success.


Advanc’edge MBA, August 2007, Chitra Jha

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Shine Time!

For the past two months, I have lived out of a suitcase, travelling and staying in various hotels. What struck me everyday, without fail was the general lack of smiling faces. Be it the hotel stewards, bell boys, airline stewardesses, taxi drivers… whoever; a spontaneously smiling face was a rarity. Whatever smiles one encountered were virtually all ‘plastic’ smiles, which don’t warm any heart. When I smiled, most of them found it difficult to even return that smile (some persistence on my part did make them respond eventually). And then for this lackadaisical service they offered, they expected me to give them ‘TIPS’. ‘TIPS’ means 'To Insure Prompt Service'. But it means more than that to me. It's all about feeling good, appreciating good service, and good servers. A genuine, refreshing smile is the hallmark of a good server.
There are hundreds of languages in this world and a smile speaks them all, thus a smile is a universal language. It makes us feel better about ourselves and it always makes others think better of us. The people I have seen succeed best in life have always been cheerful. They go about their business with a smile on their faces, facing life as it comes their way. There is an old saying in business: - Don’t open a shop unless you like to smile. I couldn’t agree more.
Why is it so difficult for most of us to smile? Besides adding to our face value (no pun intended), a smile nurtures us inwardly. We don’t mind spending time and money buying expensive cosmetics and visiting beauty parlours, in order to groom ourselves and look good. A smile can do the job instantly and for free, with guaranteed results. A smile is an inexpensive way to enhance our looks. In fact we are never fully dressed until we wear a smile. Yes, of all the things we wear, our expression is the most important.
Smiling not only changes our facial expression, but can also make the brain produce endorphins which reduce physical and emotional pain and provide a sense of well-being. The irony is that theoretically most of us are aware of all these benefits. Then why can’t we smile spontaneously? What holds us back? Is it the effort required? Is it our vulnerability? Is it our insecurity? Is it the fear of being taken advantage of?
We spend so much time, money and other resources to learn various skills for getting into top notch B-schools and eventually the job market; while a simple skill that we all imbibe naturally since infancy, lies unused. It is something like not using the master key that can open many doors effortlessly, but trying to open the same doors with a different key each time. In the process, fumbling while trying to find the right key for the right door, and despite so much effort not succeeding all the time. Somehow no one really told us how important a smile is and why must we use it to our advantage. If some one did tell us, we did not heed their wisdom or even if we did, we seem to have forgotten this mantra. It is time we introspect, look inwards and understand the reasons for our inability to smile spontaneously.
Today it is an acknowledged fact that the day of the consumer has dawned. All business houses understand that the customer is the king. As future business leaders you can’t ignore the most powerful marketing tool in your kitty. A sincere smile opens doors, improves our mood, and that of the one we are interacting with. It makes people open up. It makes them generous and in tune with all that is good in this beautiful world. So what are you waiting for? Try it out. Don’t just believe me. American stand-up comedian Phyllis Diller agrees with me when she says, ‘A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.’ Yes, a smile is a powerful tool; you can even break ice with it (pun intended).
A good smile has the same effect as sunshine. Think how you feel when the day is gloomy and you look out of the window. Now think of how you feel when the morning sun is shining bright. How physically and emotionally nourishing that is? A smile nourishes you similarly.
Smile at every one you meet today, even at the cost of them thinking that you have lost your beans. Just smile and see the magic happen. It will be instant. Your day will be wonderful. You will achieve many successes. The people you smile at will have a great day as well. They will smile at more people and the Domino effect will continue. As most smiles are started by another smile, soon it will be a smiling world. A pleasant world to live in! No frayed nerves, no rising tempers! Just because you chose to smile for a day; and if you make this choice everyday imagine what kind of a world this will become. A paradise on earth!
A Chinese Proverb puts it very well:-
If there is a smile on the lips, there will be beauty in that person.
If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.
Would you like to be a part of this revolution? If you are convinced of a smile’s efficacy, pledge now that if you see someone without a smile, you will give him/her one of yours. It doesn’t cost you anything, but means a lot to the other person. Someone has very rightly said, ‘It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.’ It takes only a moment but the memory of it sometimes lasts a lifetime. It improves your confidence, adds to your personality and makes you look beautiful. Wow! What a bargain? Are you ready for it? The best news is that this bargain is available to every one, anytime. There is no deadline, no ‘till stocks last’. It is a universal gift to mankind. Let us receive this gift with gratitude, give freely and benefit ourselves on many counts.
If you don’t normally start your day with a smile, it is not too late to start practicing for tomorrow. I guarantee that you will make at least one person very happy- You, yourself.
Co-create your life and expect success.
Advanc’edge MBA, May 2007, Chitra Jha

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Don’t Ask for Things to Be Easy!

In today’s world every thing has been made easy and convenient for us. Most things can be done at the push of a button. We get pre-cooked meals; we just need to heat them in a microwave oven. We have remote control for most gadgets, so we don’t even need to move or stretch. More and more conveniences are being invented everyday. It seems that every one is preoccupied with making things easier for oneself and the humanity. We have got used to this easy way of life and now we take it for granted.

But is this ‘easy’ way really good for us? What happens to anything which is not used over a period of time? It gets rusted, shrivels, dries up and stops functioning. Same thing happens to our body and our brain. If not used, it becomes useless. There is a saying, ‘Use it or lose it’.

Diligence and determination are two very important characteristics of a successful person. An easy life destroys these two elements. A little struggle to achieve something makes life worthwhile and important. You realize the value of success only if some effort is involved in achieving it.

Unfortunately our parents tend to weaken us when they offer everything to us on a platter (because they love us!) and don’t allow us to struggle to gain strength. An English Proverb rightly says, ‘A smooth sea never makes a successful mariner.’ People who overcome obstacles are stronger than the ones who have never faced them

Have you ever seen a butterfly struggling out of its cocoon? It struggles hard, getting completely exhausted in its efforts, and then takes rest only to start struggling again. If you were to help a butterfly out of its struggle by cutting open the cocoon and letting it out, it won’t survive, it will die. Because it is this struggle that gives strength to its wings to fly and flit from flower to flower! This struggle is essential for its life.

We as humans are not any different. A struggle is essential for our growth as well. There is historical evidence that the average cycle of a great civilisation, country or family is about 200 years. Through the courage, conviction, hard work and faith of a generation; a family or a country flourishes. In the next generation abundance and liberty abound. These are followed by selfishness and complacency. Complacency leads to laziness, apathy, dependency and finally bondage or lack. The cycle continues and another generation rises to the challenges of struggle, courage, conviction, hard work and faith.

Where are you placed in this cycle? At this very moment you can make a choice. A choice to willingly let go of your love for an easy life! Don’t ask for your life to be easy; ask for a life full of challenges, but pray for the strength and the courage of conviction to come out of your struggles with flying colours. Face these challenges calmly and confidently. These have come your way to help you in your growth.

What is life without challenges? It is like sitting in a passenger train and moving at a snail’s speed, stopping at every small station, letting all other fast trains pass by. The only certainty for its passengers is that sooner or later they will reach their destination. Such a life does not enthral me, and I am sure you don’t like this idea either. I want the thrill of a roller coaster ride or the excitement of a supersonic jet flight. What about you?

It is the people who seek challenges, which truly enrich this world and make it such a wonderful place.
The choice is always available. If you have chosen unwisely before, remember that every moment is new and the great power lies in your ability to CHOOSE AGAIN, no matter what everyone else thinks or does. This choice is the path that leads, ultimately, to the fulfillment of your dreams. Which way do you choose — right now?
So start working instead of playing; start doing instead of talking; start planning; start getting serious about your dreams. Big dream means big effort. It means struggle and sacrifice. It means paying a price. Triumphs don’t come without effort.
You have to decide if you are willing to pay the price for success. You have to decide what is most important to you and how quickly you want success. And what is this price that you have to pay? It is facing life’s challenges with equanimity; without moaning, without complaining. Taking life as it comes your way and making the most of it by the dint of your hard work.
Henry Ford said, ‘The harder we work, the luckier we get.’ I couldn’t agree more. The best musicians practice everyday. The best sportsmen practice everyday. Ask any winner in any field about the secret of his success; perseverance will definitely be one factor. Come to think of it, everything that we enjoy, or everything that makes our life easy, is a result of someone’s hard work. That is some food for thought!
In short, there is no magic wand for success. You have got to be a doer and not an observer. The journey to being/ doing/ having the best is not easy. It is full of challenges. But a winner has the where-withal to face these challenges and bounce back with even greater resolve.
Motivational speaker Shiv Khera tells his audience that there are two ways to de-weed a lawn: an easy way and a not-so-easy way. The easy way is to mow the lawn. Along with the grass the weeds will also be mowed, but the problem is that within days the weeds will grow back (faster than the grass does!). The not-so-easy way is to get down on your knees and pull each weed by its roots. The reward is that the weeds will be out for a very long time. Then he asks them, which method would they choose? Now I am asking you, which method would you choose? Your answer speaks a lot about you. Pay attention to it.
Co-create your life and expect success.
Advanc’edge MBA, October 2007, Chitra Jha

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The Inherent Power of Belief

The other day I watched this film on HBO called, ‘Two Brothers’. It is about two tiger cubs in the jungles of Cambodia. As happens in most families, one of them is the daring, spirited sort and the other one is timid and easily frightened. The entire family, including the brother, is very protective towards the timid one. He, too, always depends on them to support him and take decisions on his behalf. As luck would have it, both cubs are caught by hunters, the spirited one is sold to a circus, while the timid one lands in the Royal household. The movie moves one year forward in time, and we see the changes in our two protagonists. The spirited cub grows into a tame, frightened tiger. His spirit is broken. He forgets that he is a mighty beast (even his body language has changed). The other cub too undergoes a metamorphosis. He is a confident guy now. He walks majestically and roars proudly. The difference in their changed personalities is shocking.
The beliefs inculcated in them (by their new environments) affect them greatly.

The film had me thinking about some other animals. Have you ever seen a full grown elephant tied to a tiny wooden stake with a rope? If the elephant wants, it can easily uproot that stake (after all he is capable of uprooting giant trees), but he doesn’t even try. What stops him? His belief system is at work here. He tried breaking away when he was tiny, but eventually gave up realizing the futility of his effort. That belief has shaped his mind even though he is physically much stronger now. Since he believes that he can’t do it, he doesn’t even try anymore.

Scientists have determined that a bumblebee can not fly because its body is too large vis-à-vis its wing span; aerodynamically speaking it is impossible for it to fly. Luckily for bumblebee, it is unaware of these scientific facts, so it happily flies around, oblivious to the study of aerodynamics.

Do you get my point? The same principle applies to us humans.

Our childhood beliefs are very important in determining what we achieve or do not achieve in our lives. So what beliefs are you carrying around with you?

Sometimes we believe something without knowing why we believe in it. Such beliefs are like viruses. They can harm any aspect of our lives, without us being conscious of them. Such thought viruses travel feely through our system and affect our attitudes and behaviour.

I encounter some of these in my class every day. I often hear statements like-
I am not good at maths.
I can manage maths but CAT English is very tough.
I am from a vernacular medium so I am very poor in English.


These beliefs tend to take an over-generalised view. Some of these belief-viruses can be passed on from one person to another (just like the flu virus). This way, beliefs are transferred within families, societies or nations at large.

Our beliefs are the conjectures we make about ourselves, other people, and situations in life. These are based on how we think and what we think about.

Most of us have never really analysed our beliefs. That is because we use the word, ‘believe’ in a very loose sense. We don’t really give it the respect it deserves. We need a little help to get inside and explore. It is very important to understand our beliefs and their origin. We should evaluate them from time to time to determine if these beliefs are empowering us or not. Once we do that it becomes easier to decide whether to keep a belief, alter it or get rid of it. By examining our belief system, we can begin to see where we might unnecessarily be limiting ourselves.

Ask your self, “Are my beliefs right here, right now adding to the construction of life I desire? Are my beliefs keeping me from the events and things I truly wish to experience?”

Mahatma Gandhi once said, ‘The man I want to become, if I believe myself to be I will become.’

What ever you seek to achieve must be in the realm of what you believe to be possible.
Have you heard of the ‘Placebo effect’? Doctors give fake tablets, containing no medicine what so ever, to the patients for pain (and many other ailments) and the patients in their belief that they have been given pain killers, feel relieved of their pain.

In 1994, a surgeon named J. Bruce Moseley conducted a successful experiment with ‘Placebo Surgery’ on a group of patients for arthritis. The patients were given to believe that their knees would be operated upon, while in reality only superficial cuts were made and stitched up to make them look like real surgical procedures. To the surgeon’s astonishment, all these patients reported improvement in their arthritic condition. Such experiments have been repeated (with great success) on patients of osteoarthritis since then.

According to The New York Times, ‘The researchers found patients who underwent placebo surgery were just as likely to report pain relief as those who received the real procedure. It seems for osteoarthritis patients, the relief is all in patients’ beliefs.’

Belief is a powerful tool and its power can be harnessed to do more than just cure yourself of diseases. You can achieve super success with your positive beliefs. If you go into tough challenges, always planning to come out victorious (as if you had a right to win); your belief will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Get into the habit of thinking big and believe that it is possible to achieve your dreams. Build your belief system by acknowledging your strengths and accomplishing bigger and bigger goals. And expect good things to happen. Finally what you believe determines who you are.

Dan Millman, a successful author of self-help books says-

‘What you believe is what you get. You get no more or no less than, what you believe you deserve.’

Co-create your life and expect success.


(Advanc’edge MBA, July 2007, Chitra Jha)

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What does success mean to you?

What is success?

Success is a subjective term. Each person has his/her own definition of success. To me the words life and succcess are synonyms. Does that surprise you? Perhaps you think that I am one of those lucky ones who has always had it easy. You are right and wrong at the same time!

In my definition, success means deciding to do something (however trivial) and then 'doing' it; or deciding not to do something (however critical) and 'not doing' it. Simple! The lesson learnt is:

"TO BE SUCCESSFUL, HONOUR YOUR DECISIONS"

At the end of each day, I count my successes and failures. Invariably, the successes outnumber failures. So I call it a 'successful day'. Since life is just an accumulation of days, each consecutive successful day builds my successful life. Slowly, like everything else in our lives, success becomes a habit.

Isn't it amazingly easy to be successful? Would you like to try your hand at it? Are you willing to be successful?

At the end of each day, make a list of all that you decide to do for the next day. Remember to take just one day at a time. Follow through your decisions the following day. (Decisions like 'shall brush my teeth', or, 'take a bath' are also decisions nonetheless. Include these in your list). Before going to bed, review your list, put a tick against your successes and a cross against your failures. Now decide if your day was a failure or a success. Endeavour to make each day a success. Pretty soon you will get used to being successful. How's that for a life time?

If you are as enthused about living a great life as I am, stay tuned in.

Always expect SUCCESS!

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