Success or Excellence

In my practice as a Life Coach I often advice people to focus more on personal excellence and less on success. This is an unusual advice, which is often misunderstood, in a world that loves to focus upon success.

 

What is the difference between success and excellence? The major difference is that while success is often measured in comparison to others, excellence is about being the best that we can be. It is about maximizing our gifts, talents and abilities to perform at our highest potential, at any given time. It is about realizing that our greatest competitor is not someone else, but we ourselves.

To achieve personal excellence, and be the best that we can be, we have to remember a few golden rules:-

·         Do not worry about who your competitors are. That is irrelevant.

·         Do not focus upon winning. Instead, focus upon mastering the fundamentals of your job. Focus upon daily improvement in your performance, however little that improvement may be. If you are working in a team, focus on teamwork.

·         Do not spend your life looking around to see how your competitors are doing; instead, march straight towards the vision of greatness you have for yourself and your team.

·         Do not look at others as ‘the’ standard, to measure your progress against; instead, embark upon a quest for excellence and focus 100% of your energies to become your best…and let success find you. Ironically, when you do not measure yourself against others, you become the measuring stick for others. Apple’s iPod, iPhone, and iPad are examples of products that didn’t focus on competition.

·         Work to the best of your ability and be happy with the outcome, whatever it may be, for that day.

No matter what we do in our life, doing it to the best of our ability brings in the greatest rewards. Making a commitment to personal excellence ensures a life full of success, passion, and fulfillment. Excellence is important because the results we experience are always in direct proportion to the quality of our actions. If we put in half-hearted actions, we achieve minimal results, but if we give our absolute best to what we do, we achieve miracles.

Concept of excellence must be applied to all areas of our life: health, wealth, career, and relationships. Sometimes we do just a ‘good enough’ job and call it our best effort; we don’t fool anyone but our self by doing that. We can get good results from putting in a ‘good enough’ effort, but we get excellent results by doing excellent work.

When we start putting in our best efforts into everything that we do, it becomes a habit, which brings added benefits of joy of learning, enthusiasm of stretching our limits, and satisfaction of a job well done.

Excellence is our birthright as we are a shining example of excellence created by nature; and when our goal is excellence, success is often its outcome and byproduct.

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Say Nice Things About Yourself

For some reason our society discourages, even scoffs at, people saying nice things about themselves. This tendency is labeled as ‘blowing your own trumpet’, ‘being too full of yourself’, and worst of all ‘having narcissistic tendencies’. If you have the habit of speaking about your strengths, you are considered pompous, obnoxious, and over-bearing. But whether you like it or not, this is one trait which definitely pays off big time when you go for a job interview, because it makes you look confident and capable. The only problem is that since most of us are usually out of practice, we hesitate and fumble when we have to list our positive traits. 

So, how can you learn to promote yourself, not just in job interviews but in life itself? Here are a few tips:-

·         Learn to say nice things about yourself and feel okay about it.
·         Say nice things about others as well. Complimenting others invites compliments our way too!
·         Smile more often, that will make you feel good about yourself.
·         Develop a genuine interest in your own strengths and strengthen them.
·         Use your charm to inspire and persuade others of your goodness.
·         Ask your parents, grandparents, relatives and friends to tell you positive stories from your childhood.
·     Take time to listen to others’ suggestions about how you can improve yourself. Measure your personal growth on set parameters (set by you).
·   Be empathetic to yourself and don’t beat yourself for your failings, which are nothing but learning opportunities.
·         Be sensitive to your need for love and appreciation. Give it to yourself.
·         Learn to appreciate every small success of yours.
·         At the end of the day, give yourself a loving hug and gently massage your limbs.
·      Set attainable goals for yourself and share your thoughts with people who care about you. In any case, do care about your own self.
·      Do not compete with others but have a vision for yourself. Know where you are heading. Give yourself a sense of direction. Work hard to translate your vision in your life.
·         Take the lead to be ahead of your own game of bettering yourself. Remain positive about your life.
·    Know that you can rely upon yourself each and every time. Give yourself enough reasons to believe in yourself.
·         Take complete responsibility for your personal growth, especially when the tide is working against you.
·         Stick to self-growth principles. Develop your personal value-system. Carry out your duties with diligence.
·         Remain open to change, movement, innovation and new ideas.
·         Boost your own morale by doing things that make you joyful. 

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Transformation

In order to experience transformation in our life, we have to take three important steps; viz., Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.

Awareness

We all know that our thoughts create our reality and yet, we can’t let go of the thoughts which create the problems in our life. The primary reason for this inability is a lack of awareness of our ‘subtle’ distorted thinking patterns. Here I have enumerated various such patterns; as you read through them, identify your personal patterns, remembering that you may carry more than one pattern.

  I pay undue attention to the negative details of my life. I magnify all the negative aspects of a given situation while filtering out its positive aspects. I pull negative things out of the context, isolate them from all my good experiences, and make them more awful than they actually are.
·         I look at things as good or bad; black or white; and perceive everything at its extreme, without leaving any room for the middle ground. This polarized thinking makes me judgmental; especially about myself. For example, if I am not perfect I must be a failure.

·        I over-generalize and come to a general conclusion based upon a single incident or a single piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, I ‘expect’ it to happen again and again. I often use words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ to make a point. I cannot take any risks in life and am afraid of failure.

·         I can read other people’s minds. I know what others are feeling and why they act the way they do. I remain certain of what others are feeling towards me.

·         I expect disaster. I notice or hear about a problem and start thinking, “What if that happens to me? What if such a tragedy strikes in my life? Etc.” There are no limits to my fertile, catastrophic imagination. I do not trust enough and feel incapable of changing.

·         I have a tendency to relate everything around me to myself. I think that everything people say or do in my presence is some kind of a reaction to me. I keep comparing myself with others, trying to determine who is smarter, better looking etc. I do not believe in my own worth. I keep testing my value as a person by measuring myself against others. If I fare better, I feel a temporary high. If I fare poorly, I feel horrible. I interpret each experience, each conversation and each look to determine my value and worth.

·         I feel that I am controlled by external factors; a helpless victim of fate. I remain stuck and feel unable to change my life, let alone make a difference in the world.

·         I feel responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around me. This leaves me exhausted as I attempt to fulfill everyone’s needs. I feel guilty when I can’t shoulder my responsibilities to the utmost.

·         I feel resentful because life is not fair. I tend to get locked into my own point of view, and often wonder how wonderful things would be if only people were fair to me or truly valued me. I end up causing a lot of pain to myself and my resentment keeps growing.

·         I make other people responsible for my choices and decisions. I also blame them for my problems. I do not take self-responsibility to assert my needs, say no, or do what I wish to do.

·          I blame myself for every problem and feel guilty about other’s pain.

·         I have a list of rules about how I and other people should behave. If others break these rules I get angry and if I violate the rules, I feel guilty. I am always either judging or finding faults in everything, including myself. I often use words like ‘should’, ‘ought’, or ‘must’ etc.

·         I think that what I believe is true. If I feel stupid, I must be stupid. If I feel guilty, I must have done something wrong. I let my emotions interact and correlate with my thinking process.

·         I expect other people to change to suit my needs. I know that I can do it if I pressure or cajole them enough.  My happiness depends upon changing other people.

·       I focus upon one or two qualities in myself or others and create stereotyped uni-dimensional labeling. I usually label everything and everyone to know where I stand and where others stand.

·         I always want to be proven right. I continually try to prove that my opinions and actions are right. I can’t think of being wrong and can go to any lengths to prove my rightness. I always defend my own opinion and do not pay enough attention to other’s opinions. Being right is more important to me than cultivating relationships.
·         I think that God is keeping a score of all my sacrifices and self-denial and one day it will pay off.  I feel bitter when the expected awards don’t come.

Acceptance

Once we become ‘aware’ of our thought patterns, we must ‘accept’ them. Unless we accept ourselves exactly as we are, we cannot take the necessary steps to change ourselves. The acceptance process is very easy. All you have to say is, “I accept myself exactly as I am.” Repeat this affirmation as often as you can.

Action

And then comes the ‘action’ time. It is surprising how a simple affirmation repeated loudly and often can change our entire life. This magic affirmation is, “I choose to think positive and creative thoughts. I choose to speak positive and creative words. I choose to perform positive and creative actions.”

 Take these three steps in good faith and get ready for transformation……………forever and ever….:))

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Let go of your Fears

Suppose today was the last day of your life, what wisdom would you like to share with the world? If it were me, I would ask everyone to let go of their fears!!

For far too long in my life, I lived with fears; primarily the fear of rejection, the fear of being judged, and the fear of the unknown. These fears held me back and didn’t let me blossom. As I got tired of being limited by my fears, other people’s opinions and my negative self-talk, I determined that enough was enough and decided to look the fears in the eye.

As I did so I realized that some fear is natural in our life. It is there to protect us and ensure our survival; the problems come when the fear become irrational and we start fearing our destiny. I decided to let go of this irrational fear.

As I let go of my irrational fear, things started changing. They didn’t change overnight but a definite shift happened. Earlier I used to let fear inhibit me and cramp my style, but now I don’t let it do so.

I have learnt that we limit ourselves by our fears. We forget that no one is ever born ‘average’. We are all brilliant beings, who are filled to the brim with potential. Our potential is infinite and we are here on planet earth for a specific purpose. FEAR means False Evidence Appearing Real. We can unmask it by confronting it.

Today, I would urge you to let go of all your unfounded fears. Don’t let them paralyze you and refrain you from moving forward. Remember, you have nothing to fear but fear itself. Have courage to walk through it in the direction of your dreams. Face your challenges calmly and confidently. Pray for strength and courage of conviction to come out of your struggles with flying colors.

Here are some time tested tools to confront your fears and release them:-

·         Whenever you feel fearful take a deep breath and know that everything is in right order. All is well.

·         When you are falling into fear, say aloud, “God loves me. I don’t know what to do but the infinite power that has made this universe and lives within me does. I will receive help and guidance at the right time in the right manner.”

·         When you encounter any fear tell yourself, “I don’t have to move with it. I can transform it with my love.”

·         Whenever you feel fearful about a situation, thank it for teaching you a lesson and say, “Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for showing me where I am stuck, but I no longer support your being.”

·         Affirm loudly, “I choose to let go of all my fears. I have managed other challenges in my life; I am sure of managing this one too.”

As you walk through your fears, you will find the strength to face all your challenges. The more you face your fears, bring them to the surface, and analyze them rationally, the more you will weaken them and dramatically reduce your reluctance to achieve your goals.

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The Smile Revolution

By now, courtesy Rhonda Byrne of ‘The Secret’ fame, everyone interested in self-development has heard of the Law of Attraction; and many have even applied it in their lives. As long as people keep ‘attracting’ good tidings, they swear by this law, but the moment things go wrong, they declare, ‘The law of attraction is not infallible. It doesn’t work all the time.’

But the truth is that just like the law of gravity, the law of attraction works each and every time. However, just like everything on Planet Earth, it follows the principle of ‘duality’; so, there is a law of ‘positive’ attraction and a law of ‘negative’ attraction.  A ‘+’ attraction is visible when something is being ‘added’ to our life; and a ‘-‘attraction is visible when something is being ‘subtracted’ from our life. This addition and subtraction can be in the form of people, money, success, opportunities, or just everyday energy levels.

The Negative Attraction

Take a good look around your life and notice if there is anything that you want to be there. If you do see something or a lot of things that you don’t like; such as debts, unpaid bills, illnesses, stress, strained relationships, lack of passion and creativity etc, you are experiencing ‘negative attraction’.

The fact remains that nobody ‘wants’ this attraction in their lives, but they can’t escape it either. The good news is that there is a definite ‘cure’ for negative attraction and that cure lies in your own hands; or should I say in your own mind!

The Law of Attraction teaches us that we ‘attract’ whatever we ‘think about’. So, it is logical to surmise that those of us who experience a negative attraction are spending a lot of time thinking negative thoughts. The ‘cure’ of negative attraction lies in ‘stopping’ these negative thoughts but that is easier said than done.

How can you stop thinking about your problems and get out of the negative attraction trap? Here is a very simple tool to use………….and that tool is ‘smile’. Yes, it is as simple as that to get out of your negativity and attract good health, success, wealth and wonderful relationships in your life.

Smile Revolution

·         Write down ten things which make you smile. Read this list everyday and especially whenever you feel grouchy.

·         Smile at every one you meet today, even at the cost of them thinking that you have lost your beans. Just smile and see instant magic. Remember, your enjoyment is contagious.

·         Pledge now that if you see someone without a smile, you will give one of yours. It won’t cost you anything, but may mean a lot to the other person. 

·         Find new reasons to smile everyday; when you start smiling, you will soon find something to smile about.

·         Smile more often.

Benefits of Smile Revolution

·         When you smile at everyone you meet, you will have a wonderful day. The people you smile at will also have a great day. They will smile at more people and the domino effect will continue. Soon it will become a smiling world, a pleasant world to live in. There will be no frayed nerves and no rising tempers, just because you chose to smile for a day. And if you make this choice everyday this world will truly become a paradise on earth.

·         As you become a part of the smile revolution, you will be enriched. The memory of your smile will last a lifetime. It will improve your confidence, add to your personality and make you look beautiful. You will become a gift to mankind.

·         If not more, you will make at least one person very happy, and that person is you. Your smile will nourish you physically and emotionally.

·         And the best of all, your energy will shift from –ve to +ve and you will move into the ‘positive attraction cycle’, taking full benefit of the Law of Attraction.

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Realizing Our Full Potential

Each one of us subconsciously knows that there is something more in us, but we can’t really put our finger on it. We wish to be smarter, happier, richer, thinner, wittier, more successful, more lovable and more popular than we presently are, but we don’t know how to go about it. We want a better job, bigger bank balance, bigger car, newer gadgets, and a better life, but we seem to have reached a plateau. We want to explore all our options, but we feel stuck.  We want to understand the real purpose of our life, but this knowledge eludes us. We have an underlying desire to achieve more than we already have, but something stops us from moving forward. We feel unable to progress any further. We don’t know our true capability and this lack of knowledge makes us feel inadequate, lost, under-confident and un-successful.

But a time comes when we want to take charge of our life. We become willing to try new tools to bring out the best in us. We get ready to invest our time and energy for self- enhancement. And that’s when the universe takes us to the right place, right people, and right resource material. Has it ever happened to you?

The fact remains that each human being has infinite potential but most have not yet tapped into it. If you doubt your own potential, you should look at the potential of a tiny acorn. Each tiny acorn has the potential of birthing an infinite forest. But does each tiny acorn get to express that potential? No, it doesn’t. Most of the acorns dry out for lack of fertile soil and water. Some grow up as weak seedlings for want of adequate sunshine. Some get uprooted by strong winds, some get eaten by animals, while some are cut down by humans for timber before reaching their full height. Some lucky ones grow up to be mighty oaks, but only a handful get to produce great forests. Same is true of us humans as well.

Acorns have an inherent disadvantage as they can’t find and re-allocate the right growth conditions for themselves; they depend solely upon nature’s mercy for their growth.  Human beings face the same handicap in their early years but luckily not forever.

Once you become an adult you can’t really blame your environment any more. As a responsible adult the first responsibility you must shoulder is that of your own growth. You can achieve your full potential, and be abundantly successful only when you learn to re-create your own ‘environment’.

Our environment is composed of three major areas:  our physical environment, our mental - emotional environment and our spiritual environment.

The physical environment consists of our body, our house, our street, our locality, our work-place, our city, our country and our world. The mental and emotional environment consists of our past conditioning, our current thoughts, our emotions, our feelings, our education levels, our reading habits, our cultural influence, our family dynamics, our friends, our working environment and our office dynamics. And our spiritual environment consists of our understanding of the universal laws and our willingness to apply these laws in our life.

We can’t realize our full potential unless we take care of all these areas holistically as we can’t really separate one from the other. A collective insight into these areas reveals a lot about ‘who we are’ and ‘who we are becoming’ by realistically assessing our current life situation and empowering us to alter our destiny by making empowered choices.

A human being is designed to grow and evolve infinitely; that is why success is a journey and not a destination. At any given time we have the potential to achieve more than we currently have. We deviate from this ‘eternal growth flow’ only because we resist it. We think we have reached a plateau and stop striving for more, leading a life of mediocrity in frustration, cursing our fate and the people around us. We forget that we alone are responsible for all that there is or isn’t in our life; and we have the power to change our life circumstances, if we decide to do so.

To achieve our highest potential at every stage of our life, we need to be convinced about our infinite potential. We need to believe that our life is a precious gift which must be unwrapped with love to discover its inherent beauty.

Each human being has been programmed for excellence. Excellence in all endeavors is our birth right. If we do not achieve excellence in every sphere of our life, we are short-changing our self. We are not only denying our full glory to our own self, but also doing injustice to humanity at large.

So, what can we do about it? The first step is to declare our intent to the Universe. How do we do that? It is very simple. Just look into your eyes in the mirror and say aloud for your ears to hear, “I am ready to take complete responsibility of my life. I am willing to invest my time and energy into achieving my full potential by understanding, imbibing, and practicing some simple, infallible Universal Laws of Success.”

Once you have done that, notice the feelings in your heart. Do you feel more confident or apprehensive? In both cases, you are on the right path. You have taken the first and most important step towards your growth. Now the Universe will take many steps towards you!

You may receive a book, a guide or some intuitive insight that will take you further on this journey of self-discovery. As you start using these guidelines, you may experience some immediate results, while some results will be revealed as the time unfolds.

As you charter your personal growth path, you will develop confidence in your abilities, uniqueness, creativity, do-ability, achievability and infinite potential.

As you begin to understand all aspects of human design; body, mind, emotions and Spirit, you will be propelled to take inspired actions towards your continuous and sustained progress. You will feel good about yourself and take on life with a renewed vigor.

Are you ready to step on this fast-track to growth……..and success?? If yes, here is another small exercise for you.

Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths to center yourself and repeat the mantra, “I choose to accept and love myself deeply and completely.” Do it as often as you can, especially if you feel under-confident and inferior. You can choose your own comfort level: eyes open, or eyes closed; looking into the mirror or anywhere else in the space; aloud, as a whisper, or in your mind; this mantra works always and in all ways. You don’t need to take out special time for doing it. You can repeat this sentence while doing your morning chores, commuting to work, sitting idly, or lying down in bed. Any time is the right time for it.

However, repeating this mantra soon after getting up in the morning or right before going to bed amplifies its effectiveness, as those are the times when our conscious and sub-conscious minds are in deep communion with each other.

So, here is to your growth…..Three Cheers!!!

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Overcome Procrastination

Procrastination is one trait that is responsible for many unfulfilled lives and setbacks. It makes us settle for less than what we deserve and are capable of. Thus, it kills confidence and stalls momentum.

We all know these side-effects of procrastination but we all succumb to its seductive embrace every now and then. We may feel motivated to do something that needs doing for one day, but feeling just as motivated the next day can be tough even for the best amongst us.

In order to overcome procrastination we need to know why we procrastinate in the first place. There are many reasons for procrastination. Some of these are:-

• Procrastination is an easy trap to fall into if we are not confident of our abilities. We keep saying, ‘I’ll do this tomorrow’, but tomorrow never dawns; and when the deadline creeps up, we begin to panic.

• Fear of failure is another culprit that keeps us paralyzed. It convinces us that it is better to avoid doing something than face failure.

• Even though success is a positive stimulation, at times it becomes a cause for procrastination too. We feel that if we succeed at something, others’ expectations from us will rise and they will set very high standards for us, which we may not be able to maintain; so it is better not to succeed now. This is a crazy way of thinking but not very uncommon. Fear of success is as real as the fear of failure, because success carries a responsibility with it. It is much easier to procrastinate and live on ‘someday I will’ philosophy, than to be responsible.

• Fear of disapproval too makes us shy away from doing our work.

• Boredom is another reason for procrastination because we can’t motivate ourselves to do something that we find boring.

• Sometimes we procrastinate out of anger, just to spite others, especially the people closest to us.

• Lack of required skills and information is another cause. We don’t start something because we don’t want to admit that we don’t have the necessary know-how.

• Poor health too makes us put things off. If we don’t feel too well, have a headache or some other problem, it becomes difficult to concentrate on the work at hand.

• Mental, environmental or physical distractions, such as an altercation with someone, loud music in the neighborhood, or hunger pangs etc too prevent us from doing our work.

• Sometimes, we find it difficult to organize our thoughts and actions; and go off track with our plans.

• At times we put things off because the task seems overwhelming.

• Some of us rebel against routine and scheduled work.

• Some of us are discomfort-dodgers, who avoid any task which causes discomfort, distress or anxiety. We procrastinate every time our comfort zone gets pushed. We convince ourselves that the comfort in the present is more important than the necessary task.

• Perfectionists amongst us end up thinking, ‘Why should I do something if it cannot be done perfectly?’ Perfectionism often results in perfectly executed tasks but unfortunately it also means delay in starting or finishing the work.

• Some of us are self-doubters who use delay tactics. Ironically, the delay tactics don’t make these feelings go away, and tensions keep mounting.

• Some are guilt-driven, feeling guilty over tasks not done; but instead of doing the task and correcting the original course of inaction, we continue to procrastinate in order to avoid facing our guilt.

• Some of us are habitual procrastinators, who procrastinate all the time, no matter what. It becomes a habit, with an ingrained automatic response, ‘This is too hard.’ Or ‘I am too tired.’

How can we overcome procrastination? Here are some tips:-

• Procrastination can be overcome through better organization and time management. Recognize your individual reasons for procrastination and take steps to get more organized.

• Make a list of all that needs to be done. Prioritize these tasks and drop non-essential ones from the list.

• Break large projects into smaller tasks. Set aside ample time for each scheduled task.

• Don’t panic if you get behind schedule. Give yourself some extra time. Re-schedule your other appointments. Take help from your colleagues and friends.

• Bite off only what you can chew; learn to delegate tasks.

• Whenever you think of putting off a task for later, think of Nike’s famous slogan, ‘Just do it!’

• Schedule a reward time for yourself, after the task is done.

• Provide a momentum to your work by physically striking off the completed task from your list.

• Ask yourself, “What one thing can I do today, that I don’t want to do, but doing it will take me towards my goal?”Answer your question and take prompt action.

Remember that there is no problem that can’t be solved, no task that can’t be completed and no habit that can’t be changed…….All we need to do is- change our outlook. All the best for that!

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Invest Five Minutes a Day to Change your Life

In this New Year, are you ready to put behind certain aspects of your life? Are you willing to create a new, improved, and fresh life for yourself? Would you like to learn a proven method of investing just five minutes each day to achieve your next goal? Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to buy anything, or go somewhere or use any previous expertise to make this work for you. You already possess the most important tool to make this work and that tool is your brain. With this magnificent tool, you can become anything, do anything, and have anything that you possibly want.
Here is how you go about this life changing process:-

• Choose a small goal: Yes, pick a goal that is just a wee bit beyond your comfort level. Something that feels easily achievable. But it must be something that you really desire. Something that will bring you joy; because only those goals are worth striving for which bring us joy.

• Declare your intent: Once a day, preferably in the morning, write down your goal in a short sentence. For example, “I intend to increase my earnings by 10% in two months from now.” Choose your own words that feel good to you. Your heart must agree with what you are writing.

• Celebrate your success: After writing down your goal statement, mentally place yourself in the future where your goal has already been accomplished. Feel the happiness and the excitement you will feel at that time. Stay in this positive feeling for a couple of minutes. Let this feeling fill you up with positivity and joy.

• Ask advice from your future self: Looking back from that moment in future where you are celebrating your accomplishment, advice your present self to take just one action today that will take you closer to your goal. The ‘future you’ knows what steps need to be taken to access that future. Trust his wisdom. As soon as the answer comes to you write it down, and take that action sometime during the day. When you take the action, your subconscious mind gets convinced that you are serious about your goal.

• Repeat the above steps everyday: Work on one goal at a time, following the same steps, until you have achieved that goal. Don’t change your goals every day; however, the action to be taken may differ each day. Once a goal is achieved, choose another one and continue creating your dream life. Remember that persistence is the most important attribute for achieving success in life. If you give up before realizing your goal, it means that you don’t really desire it and it doesn’t bring joy to you. Take a re-look at your written statement and reframe it. Or change your goal to one which resonates more completely with you.

All the best for your empowered life!!

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Trust and Faith

Thanks to a greater understanding about the power of the word and imagination, a great many people are using affirmations and visualizations to create their dream lives. However, there are some points that need revision and emphasis while working with this empowering process. Some of these are:-

• When you visualize your dream life, the picture must be backed by a strong and unshakable faith that your dream is already a reality.

• As you mentally live in the visuals, enjoy them completely, believing that you have received them completely.

• Repeating mere words doesn’t really help, but holding your vision with unshakable faith and trust does.

• Have complete trust in your own abilities and faith in your subconscious mind’s ability to bring your dream into reality.

• Be as certain of your dream coming true, as you are of the sun rising every day. Have no doubts whatsoever. Complete trust takes us to exactly the right place for us.

• You cannot change your circumstances overnight, but you can live your present life fully and cheerfully, with the confidence that your real life is unfolding in unknown, but certain ways.

• The universe is the pilot of the plane of which you are the co-pilot. It may not be a calm flight but safe landings are assured.

• The task ahead of you is not as great as the power within you.

• The universe has reserved all the resources and opportunities required for your dream’s fulfillment, in your name. No one can take them away from you. These things are waiting for you to open yourself up and receive them.

• Know that whatever you need in the process of creating your dream will come to you. Do not look at the visible resources. Trust that you will be provided with not what you want but what you need. Let this trust grow.

• You will know that your dreams are about to be fulfilled when people, money and opportunities come together simultaneously and almost effortlessly, waiting for you to show up and say yes to them.

• It is necessary to understand that it is not you who has to do the work of manifesting anything. The all-powerful essence of the universe will do that. You only have to allow the universal power, which created the world, to create your dreams. And you can do that by letting go of your negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings about your desires.

• Remember, you will receive only when you can believe. If you doubt the manifestation process, the things will start moving away from you as certainly as they were moving towards you.

• Faith believes that something you cannot see will surely happen. Fear too believes that something you cannot see will surely happen. The only difference lies in what one imagines will happen. You can imagine positive future scenarios, and get filled with hope, faith and enthusiasm, or you can imagine negative future scenarios and become fearful and desperate.

• Destroy your own doubts and stay away from people who doubt your capabilities.

You are like a flower which is beginning to bloom. The flower feels its growth and allows it to happen. It trusts and believes in its flowering and happily basks in the sun. You too must trust and enjoy the process of your flowering.
Success comes to those who trust themselves.

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Taking Risks

We are told that ‘risk taking’ is a leadership trait which is essential for achieving success in life; but when we propose to do something new and creative we are usually discouraged to move forward as it involves taking risks. Isn’t it paradoxical? Why do we fear risks?

What do you think people, including their parents, must have told Wright brothers, Orville and Wilber, when they talked about flying heavier -than -air machines? Some would have laughed at them, others might have jeered. Their father, Pastor Wright must have said, “If God wanted men to fly like birds, He would have given them wings!!” His parish must have sympathized with the Pastor for siring two gullible boys, who were palmed off a risky hoax by some smart alec.

What do you think must have transpired when someone proposed a harebrained idea of ‘talking’ pictures? How outlandish must a landing on moon and people walking on its surface must have seemed? People, giving voice to such ‘ridiculous’ ideas, must have been berated, time and again, by their fellow brethren!

But the fact remains that all such so-called ‘crazy’ people with ‘silly’ ideas who dared to move beyond time-tested concepts and took risks are today known as geniuses, revolutionaries, pioneers, visionaries and heroes. They earned enough fame, name and wealth because they took the risk of questioning others and themselves. They dared to challenge all those limitations which the rest of the people took for-granted.

There is something in everyone’s life experience; whether professional, business or personal, which can be implemented in a better, more efficient and more productive manner. What distinguishes a genius from an ordinary person is the ability to spot that opportunity and take it forward. It may take much more time than you first thought; it may cost much more than you initially estimated, and it may strain all your resources more than you envisioned; but once you decide to take a calculated risk and undertake something ambitious, the costs and resources are well worth it.

You may make false starts. You may face some embarrassments. You may make costly errors. But the potential outcome of your endeavors could be as brilliant and outrageous as flying in the air and walking on the moon.

There are many frontiers left to be conquered. There are many challenges left to be overcome. There are many achievements left to be claimed. But the problem is that there aren’t enough risk-takers, explorers and inventors amongst us. There aren’t enough inquisitive people who ask the right and most obvious questions. There aren’t enough self-assured mavericks who challenge the conventional wisdom. There aren’t enough geniuses who are willing to do things which may initially make them look stupid.

Ask yourself, “Do I have a dream in my heart? Am I willing to make mistakes while pursuing my dream? Am I willing to take the requisite risks?”

Your affirmative answer might just change our world!!!!!

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Customer Service

If you are in the service industry and want your customers to keep coming back to you, follow these guidelines:-

• Always keep your promises: Be on time for each meeting with your customers. Stay ready and prepared to work. Deliver exactly what you promise. Charge exactly what you publish. Stand behind your work by offering a satisfaction guarantee.
• Be willing to help: Show that your desire to help your customers is not just motivated by money. Help your customers move forward in life. Let your customers leave you feeling better than when they came to you.
• Inspire confidence: Make your customers feel confident in your ability to help them. Make them view you as an expert in your field. Demonstrate your expertise as you work.
• Treat customers with respect: Treat customers as individuals by customizing your work to meet their needs. Treat them with kindness, politeness and courtesy.
• Make it easy to do business with you: Keep good records of all your customer information. Let customers feel confident that you will respond to their concerns quickly and professionally. Keep all customer information confidential.
• Do an excellent job: Let all aspects of your products or services communicate high quality and consummate professionalism. Let your customers expect high standard from you and get it. Whatever you do always do an excellent job.

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Some 'do's and don'ts

Follow these 'do’s and don’ts to become successful:

'Do’s

• Value mistakes as necessary feedbacks for improvement.
• Love without conditions or expectations.
• Forgive others as everyone acts according to their current level of consciousness and understanding.
• Help others with the understanding that ultimately they are responsible for their life.
• Make a conscious choice to be free. Hold your freedom as a priority which can’t be compromised.
• Take full responsibility for your state of mind. Value your inner peace more than winning or proving your point.
• Commit yourself to awareness of your inner dialogue and states of mind.
• Prioritize well- being over negativity.
• Value your energy and conserve it by not wasting it on anger, fear, jealousy, hatred and negativity.
• Do your best to face challenges and fulfill responsibilities.
• Understand the difference between what exists in thought and what exists in reality.

Don’ts

• Don’t be satisfied with a superficial change of behavior. Make an inner change which is the source of all behavior.
• Don’t let your emotions be controlled by others.
• Don’t engage in self-defeating behavior.
• Don’t let anger guide your hand.
• Don’t let fear inhibit your actions.
• Don’t let desires govern your life.
• Don’t let attachments bind you.
• Don’t cheat yourself by wasting your time.
• Do not put yourself in a box. Your limited identity is self-defined and self-imposed.
• Don’t carry a strict idea of yourself to which you must conform.
• Don’t make any comparisons with others, as you are neither above nor below anyone.
• Don’t try to control or possess others.
• Don’t depend upon others for validation or approval.
• Don’t wait for an external authority to tell you what is right and what is wrong. You are your own authority.
• Don’t attempt to appear different than you are, regardless of who you are around.
• Don’t judge others or attempt to change them. Allow them the freedom to be themselves.
• Don’t allow your past to interfere with your present; learn from it and let it go.
• Don’t react to situations and people.
• Don’t run from your problems or put off responsibilities.

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Achieve your dreams

All of us have a dream. This dream matters to us and we intend to achieve it. But as we live our lives unexpected events pose many challenges on our path. The economy, education, illness and reality ask us to stop dreaming and start focusing on what is already there in our life. And, yet, we can’t let go of our dream.

If you are one such person with a dream in your heart and a will to achieve it, follow these guidelines:-

• Become comfortable with uncertainties. True creation happens out of uncertain times.
• Know that you were created to create. Allow time and space for this to occur.
• Have extraordinary faith and take action on what is important to you. Don’t wait for any assurances or guarantees.
• Relax. As you relax, your ego with its agenda, fears and doubts will slip away.
• Learn to become empty. As you empty your cup, it can be filled again with better stuff.
• Become aware that it is more powerful to move toward what you want than move away from what you don’t want.
• See all points of view, all sides, and new perspectives regarding your dream.
• Have the courage, clarity and commitment to share your dream and ideas to empower others.
• Think of making the world a better place.
• Live in integrity. Keep your agreements with yourself and others.
• Develop a purpose, mission, vision, calling and dream in many areas of your life.
• Believe in yourself and your dreams.
• Say ‘yes’ to all opportunities that come your way.

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Success sutras

No molly-coddling. Be a little hard-hearted with yourself.

• Do not stand any nonsense.
• Do not accept excuses.
• Move on without regret. Free your heart.
• Do not berate yourself for something you did or didn’t do.
• Do not spend time trying to undo your every action or inaction.
• Do not waste time wishing you had done this or that.
• Be responsible.
• Do not play the blame game with yourself.
• Be aware of every opportunity that comes your way.
• Do not keep re-visiting the past. Live in the now.
• Get on with your life.
• Don’t hold yourself back.
• Be forward moving.
• Stop looking back.
• If you need to apologize to someone, do it now.
• Give yourself credit for all that is working in your life.

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Improve Your Focus to Achieve Success

It has been said that the main reason people fail in achieving their goals is because of their broken focus. Unless we have a laser like focus on whatever it is that we do/want, it is more than likely that we won’t achieve it. In fact what we will gain instead is a state of frustration and confusion.

How can we increase our focus and get rid of frustration and confusion? Before we understand that, we need to ask ourselves a few questions.

• Do you really know what you want? Do you want to know it?
• Do you live with vague wants; such as ‘I want to be successful; I want to be rich; I want a good life; etc?
• Are you scared of making a decision? Is it because of the fear of not being able to achieve it?
• Are you afraid of making mistakes?
• Do you believe in yourself?
• Are you telling yourself, “There is no point wanting that, I’ll never get it?”
• Are you aware that your beliefs create your reality?
• Are you scared that if you went for what you want, you will have to leave a lot of things behind?
• Are you so caught up in doing what others want from you that you have forgotten what you want for yourself?
• Does your happiness depend upon other people’s happiness?
• If someone asks you a simple question like, ‘what would you like for dinner?’ Do you find yourself saying, “It doesn’t matter?” Is that how you are treating your life with, ‘it doesn’t matter’?
• Have you given up on yourself?

Your answers to these questions will reveal a lot about your focus. If you are not focused enough, the following tips will help:

• Be clear about what you really want in/from life. You truly have everything that you need to achieve your dreams right inside you. You can achieve any goal provided you are focused and ready to work with your subconscious. You can train yourself for success. You can get most out of yourself and your inner powers. You can make your life easy and fulfilling. All you have to do is decide what is important to you and come up with a plan to achieve it.
• Making a decision now doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind ever. In fact, an increased focus will let you see clearly if this is what you really want.
• Writing down your goal, objective and plans increases your chances of success by about 80%. The best part is that you don’t have to be clear about all the details of your plan. You only need to make a list of what you want and a general idea about how to get there. Just writing down your goal along with a sketchy plan is enough to propel you into action. They say that 80% of those who write down their goals end up achieving them. Then why is it that only about 5% people actually put their goals down in writing? Why do you think this writing down business is so effective? It is effective because when you write down your success plan, you send a message to your subconscious mind that you are ready for success. When you write it confidently, you tell the Universe that you will accept nothing less than success. This process is powerful as it sends a powerful message to your subconscious mind to get going with the plans and modify them as and when required. This process is known as co-creation. In this way you co-create success, in partnership with your subconscious mind.
• Break up your big goal into smaller bits. Increase your focus step by step. How about increasing it by about 2% every day? You can do it.
• Collect your scattered energies. If you focus on too many things at the same time, your focus can’t be laser sharp.
• Get rid of the ‘I don’t know’ syndrome. You better know what you want. If you keep saying ‘I don’t know’, your brain will begin to agree with you. Perhaps you don’t know what you want because you have never really thought about it. Think about it now. Most of us plan our vacations and our parties more thoroughly than we plan our lives.
• Remember, focus leads to smart actions which lead to an improved momentum. It makes us shine in our chosen sphere.

So get focused, decide what you truly want to achieve and send right signals to your subconscious mind.

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Being The Best We Can Be

Each one of us wants to be/ do/ have better than we currently are/do/have. We want to be smarter/ happier/ richer/ thinner/ wittier/ more successful/ more lovable and more popular than we are right now. We want to do better in studies, jobs and relationships. We want to have better jobs, bank balances, cars, gadgets, and lives; and why not? Why should we settle for something less than we can be/ do/ have? We must fulfill ourselves and live up to our highest potential.

Why is it that we don’t achieve our highest potential? It is because we don’t operate out of mature, adult judgment. It is because we don’t take the most appropriate course of action. It is because we don’t make intelligent, considered choices in our best interest. It is because we operate out of some outdated attitudes that we acquired in our formative years. It is because we don’t question our immature attitudes. It is because we don’t know what damaging thoughts are lurking right below the level of our conscious awareness. Yes, our subconscious attitudes make us behave in a certain manner. The reality is that we are not in control of our attitude; our attitude controls us. We are not even consciously aware of our pre-dispositions and attitudes.

How can we take corrective measures in order to be the best we can be? Here are some pointers:

• Don’t compare yourself with your more successful friends and relatives. This comparison confirms your underlying beliefs of inferiority and inadequacy.
• Don’t criticize yourself for your imperfections. Your criticism strengthens your painful thoughts about your inadequacy.
• Don’t remain unhappy. While thinking of living a better life, remain happy with whatever you have. This seems like a paradox, but it is the primary mantra for achieving a better life. Being happy increases your energy field and attracts opportunities towards you.
• Don’t lose self-respect. Always love and respect yourself. Make a list of your qualities that you can respect and love yourself for.
• Don’t wear a false mask. Be honest about your feelings. If you are feeling unworthy, accept this feeling.
• Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Setbacks are a part of life. They only help you in learning from your mistakes. Don’t take your failures personally. Everyone fails at something at some point or the other in their lives.
• Don’t feel unworthy of success. Each one of us deserves to have a great life.
• Don’t shun so called ‘bad’ experiences. In life both good and bad happens. Accept both with equanimity.
• Don’t try to control others. Live and let live.
• Don’t look for security. Security is an illusion. Anything physical is not permanent. Look for growth and evolution instead.
• Don’t remain anxious about the results of your efforts. The results will be seen at the right time. Keep doing your work with faith and commitment.
• Don’t think of yourself as better than or less than others. Each one is a unique individual capable of achieving the best.
• Don’t unnecessarily try to please others. Be pleasant with all.
• Don’t withdraw into yourself. Remain open and friendly with all.
• Don’t rebel against authority. Be amiable. Put your point across amicably.
• Don’t be too submissive. Have self-respect.
• Don’t blame others for your problems. Take complete responsibility for all that you have in your life.
• Don’t criticize others. It lowers your vibrations and attracts criticism of your actions. Criticism of any kind always re-bounces back to you.
• Don’t plan and schedule ‘everything’ in advance. Keep room for uncertainties. Welcome uncertainties in your life.
• Don’t see life in terms of ‘always’ and ‘never’; ‘right’ and ‘wrong’; ‘black’ and ‘white’; ‘winner’ and ‘loser’. Follow the middle path.
• Don’t always think of winning an argument. Arguments can never be won. Accept others’ point of view but follow your own truth.
• Don’t be stubborn. Listen to others.
• Don’t defend yourself. You don’t have to prove anything. If someone doesn’t agree with you, so be it.
• Don’t feel responsible for others. Your primary responsibility is to yourself. Help others become responsible for themselves.
• Don’t evaluate others on the basis of external appearances. Things are not always as they seem. Respect everyone.

It takes courage to be the best we can be, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Remember, you are worth it!!!

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The Power of Purpose

How many of us live truly purposeful lives and how many just drift along, always trying to fit in with the trends; living life on others’ terms? A lack of an individual or collective purpose makes us feel inadequate, helpless and powerless. Lao Tzu, a famous Chinese philosopher living over 2500 years ago had said, “The biggest problem in the world today is that individuals experience themselves as powerless.” We haven’t progressed much on this count in these two and a half millenniums. We still feel helpless, negative, lethargic, frustrated, and resentful. We often live in fear, enslaved by our circumstances, which we think are beyond our control. All these are signs of powerlessness. Our efforts to achieve success in any field are sabotaged by powerlessness as it breeds negativity, helplessness and inertia.

True power comes with purpose. It brings an inner awareness, an inner state of being in control; an inner knowing that we can achieve our goals. It brings a calm conviction about our true identity. It makes us believe that we can achieve all that we set out to achieve in life. It gives us a quiet confidence in our abilities. It helps us set a direction for our life. It makes us distinguish among circumstances over which we have some control and over which we have no control. This power makes us define ourselves from inside out. It makes our internal space a positive one. From this space, our internal dialogue always moves us towards self confidence. We constantly keep affirming, “I am a capable person. I can handle all life challenges with élan. I am creative. I learn from all my mistakes. Etc. etc.”

Mahatma Gandhi is a shining example of a person who used the power of purpose in the most effective manner. He held no political office. He didn’t possess great wealth. He was a small, frail, scantily clad man, who took on the might of the British Empire and drove the erstwhile rulers without firing a single shot. How did he achieve this supposedly impossible goal? He could do it with the power of purpose; the power which can move mountains and achieve miracles.

How can we cultivate this power in our lives? This power comes with a vision for our future. It comes when we open up to new possibilities. It comes when we nurture our inherent strengths. Yes, each one of us has been granted numerous gifts by nature/ God/ Universe/ Spirit/ Energy/ Intelligence…….whatever name you may call it. Ask yourself, “What are the blessings/ gifts/ powers that I have been blessed with so far?” Make a list of these blessings. Your list could include a safe and secure home, loving family, fresh drinking water, plenty of food, good health, sound mind, education, employment, friends, freedom from life threats, talents, abilities etc.

Once you have made this list, you are ready to ask the next question. Ask yourself, “Why have I been given all these gifts? What is the purpose?” This is a very important question, so let the answer come in from deep inside you. For some the purpose could be to experience love, joy, beauty, and aliveness. For some others it could be sharing the gifts and supporting others in living joyful, authentic lives. Some may be inclined to create conditions where everyone can live with inner security and peace. Some may wish to understand more about the human nature and human experience. There can be as many purposes as there are people, since each one of us is unique, with our unique bouquet of gifts and talents!

Once you have identified your most compelling purpose you are ready for the final question. Ask yourself, “How am I going to use my gifts to the fullest? What actions do I need to take today in the direction of my life’s purpose? How can I align my gifts with the purpose I have identified?” Whichever way you may frame this question, but the answer to this question will give you the power of purpose. This answer will make you look at each moment as an opportunity to march forward on your chosen path.

So go ahead, ask these questions, honestly answer them and find your power of purpose. This power will propel you towards dizzying heights of success in any chosen field…….because this field will be in alignment with who you are!!!!

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Magnetize your Thoughts

I get a lot of feedback on my columns and most of it is from youngsters. Quite a few of them ask me how to concentrate on their studies. I tell them about focus, deep breathing and meditation. Those of you who have taken my advice and have practiced concentration in some form, viz., meditation, prayer, contemplation etc, know what it is like to quiet your mind. Those of you, who have never formally practiced doing it, have been indulging in it while day-dreaming, or being in deep thought. Yes, whether consciously or unconsciously, each one of us accomplishes concentration and focus sometime or the other. What we are not generally aware of is the fact that we generate an electro-magnetic field of attraction or repulsion with our thoughts, through the release of hormones and chemicals from our endocrine system. More focused we are, stronger is this electro-magnetic field. Stronger the electro-magnetic field, better the attraction of our desired goals towards us.

Our thoughts originate in the brain but travel through every cell of our body. They produce micro-electrical charges (we experience this charge as feelings) in our neural passages. These electrical charges are magnetic in character. These magnetic waves attract all our life experiences to us. They also repel some events/people/situations from our experience. Thus we create our life circumstances.
Most of our thoughts are sub-conscious, which means that they operate below our conscious awareness. These thoughts hold great power and by default run/ ruin our lives. Whether we like it or not, these thoughts too travel through the positive/negative receptors of our cells. These thoughts too initiate release of peptides from our endocrine glands. These thoughts too produce electric charges and become magnetic. The truth is that our subconscious thoughts unconsciously drive our choices.

Now you understand the reason for the gap between your conscious desires and unconscious life choices that you make. If you have desired something and not achieved it as yet, please examine your sub-conscious thoughts. Look at the separation between your unconscious thoughts and your conscious desires. For example, you may desire to become a doctor, you are studying for the entrance exams, but your subconscious thoughts go like, ‘I am not doctor material. MBBS entrance is really tough. I will have to study for 8 years before I can establish my practice. I don’t really like blood and stuff…..etc. etc.’ with this train of thoughts, you will attract tough question papers and you will repel your chances of securing a seat. Success comes to us only when our conscious desires are in sync with our subconscious choices!!

When we become aware that every thought we think (whether consciously or unconsciously) operates at levels we are not aware of (through an electro-magnetic field), we understand how we are creating our reality in each moment. This awareness is our moment of Truth. This awareness empowers us to take complete charge of our lives.

Each thought produces a combination of brain waves in each moment, yet we can choose to focus on one brain wave over another at will. Most of the times, our operating frequency produces endless programs of fear, doubt and limitation! These are the programs that usually run/ruin our lives. When we are more focused on our work, we think fewer thoughts. In this state, we can control our thoughts to a greater extent.

Our mind is designed in such a way that it can’t hold two thoughts at the same time. Try thinking about two things together. You can’t do it. The more persistent thought will displace the weaker thought. By using this property to your advantage, you can concentrate on thoughts of success, prosperity, compassion and joy. Over a period of time your old thinking patterns will simply dissolve through lack of use.

We can access our power by letting our wants and desires regulate our thinking. We can also be in tune with the micro-electric charges produced by these thoughts, through our feelings. Good feelings tell us that we are magnetizing good in our lives. Bad feelings tell us that we are repelling our good and attracting the un-desirable into our lives. It is that simple. By staying in tune with our feelings we can monitor our thoughts, and choose empowering thoughts. The feelings let us have a conscious access to our subconscious thought processes. They can help us de-link from our limiting, fearful thoughts and cultivate positive, magnetic thoughts!!!

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Learn to Listen

The biggest complaint of parents these days is that their children don’t listen to them. This habit of ‘not listening’ carries on until someday some soft skills instructor teaches them ‘how to listen’. I believe that the first duty you have towards yourself is to listen: listen to everything around you, including that small voice which speaks from within. Listening is an art and if learnt well it unleashes a creative force in us.

We all like people who listen to us; because when someone gives us a patient hearing we feel that s/he understands us. Don’t you like to be listened to? The need to be understood is the most basic human need. Then why is it that this need remains unfulfilled in most of us?

Listening involves a lot more than just our two ears. Ears only ‘hear’. Hearing is influenced by our conditioning, our opinions, and our belief systems, hence, most of the times we hear what we wish to hear. The words spoken by another pass through many layers of filters before reaching our mind which takes cognizance of them, and like the game of ‘Chinese Whispers’, what the mind finally deciphers is very different from what the speaker had meant to convey. This gap in the spoken and heard words leads to misunderstandings, disharmony and conflicts in our lives.

So how is listening different from hearing? Listening is an ‘inner’ process. It moves beyond hearing. It knows no words. We cannot listen to others unless we learn to listen to ourselves. Our inner self is constantly communicating with us through our feelings, thoughts and emotions. This communication is known as in-tuition, which means instruction from within.

Since we are not taught to listen to this inner voice it keeps interrupting us whenever we want to listen to the external sounds. This inner voice carries our inner compulsions, deepest fears, desires and needs. When we don’t pay heed to these, we remain restless and unhappy with ourselves and hence with others, especially the ones closest to us. We become emotionally challenged (low E.Q) and start playing petty games with each other. We start longing for others to listen to us. We start looking for praise and applause. We start harboring envy and malice.
To be able to truly listen we need to train ourselves to go beyond hearing. We need to involve our heart along with our ears. When we learn to listen to our own deepest truths, we can listen to those of others as well. Listening helps us discover ourselves and others.

Listening begins with deep contemplation. In order to truly listen we need to drop our masks and disguises. We need to free ourselves of our self-imposed inhibitions. The more we listen to our inner instructions the more aware we become of the outside world.

So wake up and listen, you will find someone who understands you; someone who is ready to guide you and show you the way towards fulfillment in life!!! Just Listen……………

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Being Good Enough

If there is one thing common amongst all of us, it is our lack of satisfaction with what/who we are. The sentence, ‘I am not good enough’ hangs about in our subconscious like a prison sentence, waiting to be invoked at a short notice. Yes, this sentence, keeps us imprisoned in under-confidence. Whether we look confident or not, whether we feel confident or not, whether we are proficient in our work or not, whether we look gorgeous or not; none of this matters as at some point or the other in our daily lives we feel ‘less than enough.’ This applies across board to all human beings, only the degree/sphere of under-confidence varies.

Why is it the way it is? The primary reason is that most of us don’t really believe in our inherent strengths. There is always a ‘yes, but…..’ about our abilities. We invariably fail to discover our genius and recognize our gifts. More often than not we fail to take a ride into the unknown possibilities our life offers. So, how can we correct all that? We can do it by taking charge of ourselves. We can do it by loving ourselves for who we are. We can do it by becoming our own leaders and believing in our capacity to grow. One doesn’t have to be ‘born’ a leader to lead oneself. You can become your own leader by just choosing to do so. After all leadership is a learnable skill!

To be your own leader, you must be able to envisage your own bright future. You can do this by reminding yourself that there is something in you which is better than what you are displaying right now. The more vividly you can ‘see’ your bright future, more excited you will become about your abilities. Your excitement will attract your great picture towards you. This excitement will boost your productivity, change your behavior and greatly motivate you. Excitement almost always works in making one feel good about oneself!

Once you have tuned into the picture of this bright future, keep re-enforcing it from time to time. Visualize this picture every night for at least 15 minutes. Get really excited every time you do that; let your heart race and let your pulse pound! The more vividly you can visualize your dreams, more real they will become and more fulfilled you will feel. A person who can’t get genuinely excited about him/herself cannot be satisfied with what s/he is and can’t achieve anything worthwhile.

Another sure shot way to feel good about yourself is by taking care of your needs; both physical and emotional. Start each day with gratitude for who you are and what you are capable of doing. Learning new things also makes one grow and feel more alive; so learn something new every day. Also take out time to engage in activities that you enjoy. Moments of joy increase our confidence levels. When we are in a happy frame of mind, we feel more positive about ourselves and the world around us.

Embrace your imperfections. No one is perfect in all areas of their lives at all times. Each one of us is unique and our uniqueness is our strength. Remember to make yourself the number one person in your life, because if you don’t feel like number one to yourself, you won’t give your best to anyone or anything. Tell yourself, “I am worth it”, and feel worthy of being you! Never forget that you are more than good enough………for you and your loved ones!

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