my life my success

Overcome Procrastination

2012-01-15T15:30:00.001+05:30

Procrastination is one trait that is responsible for many unfulfilled lives and setbacks. It makes us settle for less than what we deserve and are capable of. Thus, it kills confidence and stalls momentum.

We all know these side-effects of procrastination but we all succumb to its seductive embrace every now and then. We may feel motivated to do something that needs doing for one day, but feeling just as motivated the next day can be tough even for the best amongst us.

In order to overcome procrastination we need to know why we procrastinate in the first place. There are many reasons for procrastination. Some of these are:-

• Procrastination is an easy trap to fall into if we are not confident of our abilities. We keep saying, ‘I’ll do this tomorrow’, but tomorrow never dawns; and when the deadline creeps up, we begin to panic.

• Fear of failure is another culprit that keeps us paralyzed. It convinces us that it is better to avoid doing something than face failure.

• Even though success is a positive stimulation, at times it becomes a cause for procrastination too. We feel that if we succeed at something, others’ expectations from us will rise and they will set very high standards for us, which we may not be able to maintain; so it is better not to succeed now. This is a crazy way of thinking but not very uncommon. Fear of success is as real as the fear of failure, because success carries a responsibility with it. It is much easier to procrastinate and live on ‘someday I will’ philosophy, than to be responsible.

• Fear of disapproval too makes us shy away from doing our work.

• Boredom is another reason for procrastination because we can’t motivate ourselves to do something that we find boring.

• Sometimes we procrastinate out of anger, just to spite others, especially the people closest to us.

• Lack of required skills and information is another cause. We don’t start something because we don’t want to admit that we don’t have the necessary know-how.

• Poor health too makes us put things off. If we don’t feel too well, have a headache or some other problem, it becomes difficult to concentrate on the work at hand.

• Mental, environmental or physical distractions, such as an altercation with someone, loud music in the neighborhood, or hunger pangs etc too prevent us from doing our work.

• Sometimes, we find it difficult to organize our thoughts and actions; and go off track with our plans.

• At times we put things off because the task seems overwhelming.

• Some of us rebel against routine and scheduled work.

• Some of us are discomfort-dodgers, who avoid any task which causes discomfort, distress or anxiety. We procrastinate every time our comfort zone gets pushed. We convince ourselves that the comfort in the present is more important than the necessary task.

• Perfectionists amongst us end up thinking, ‘Why should I do something if it cannot be done perfectly?’ Perfectionism often results in perfectly executed tasks but unfortunately it also means delay in starting or finishing the work.

• Some of us are self-doubters who use delay tactics. Ironically, the delay tactics don’t make these feelings go away, and tensions keep mounting.

• Some are guilt-driven, feeling guilty over tasks not done; but instead of doing the task and correcting the original course of inaction, we continue to procrastinate in order to avoid facing our guilt.

• Some of us are habitual procrastinators, who procrastinate all the time, no matter what. It becomes a habit, with an ingrained automatic response, ‘This is too hard.’ Or ‘I am too tired.’

How can we overcome procrastination? Here are some tips:-

• Procrastination can be overcome through better organization and time management. Recognize your individual reasons for procrastination and take steps to get more organized.

• Make a list of all that needs to be done. Prioritize these tasks and drop non-essential ones from the list.

• Break large projects into smaller tasks. Set aside ample time for each scheduled task.

• Don’t panic if you get behind schedule. Give yourself some extra time. Re-schedule your other appointments. Take help from your colleagues and friends.

• Bite off only what you can chew; learn to delegate tasks.

• Whenever you think of putting off a task for later, think of Nike’s famous slogan, ‘Just do it!’

• Schedule a reward time for yourself, after the task is done.

• Provide a momentum to your work by physically striking off the completed task from your list.

• Ask yourself, “What one thing can I do today, that I don’t want to do, but doing it will take me towards my goal?”Answer your question and take prompt action.

Remember that there is no problem that can’t be solved, no task that can’t be completed and no habit that can’t be changed…….All we need to do is- change our outlook. All the best for that!

Invest Five Minutes a Day to Change your Life

2012-01-10T13:05:00.001+05:30

In this New Year, are you ready to put behind certain aspects of your life? Are you willing to create a new, improved, and fresh life for yourself? Would you like to learn a proven method of investing just five minutes each day to achieve your next goal? Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to buy anything, or go somewhere or use any previous expertise to make this work for you. You already possess the most important tool to make this work and that tool is your brain. With this magnificent tool, you can become anything, do anything, and have anything that you possibly want.
Here is how you go about this life changing process:-

• Choose a small goal: Yes, pick a goal that is just a wee bit beyond your comfort level. Something that feels easily achievable. But it must be something that you really desire. Something that will bring you joy; because only those goals are worth striving for which bring us joy.

• Declare your intent: Once a day, preferably in the morning, write down your goal in a short sentence. For example, “I intend to increase my earnings by 10% in two months from now.” Choose your own words that feel good to you. Your heart must agree with what you are writing.

• Celebrate your success: After writing down your goal statement, mentally place yourself in the future where your goal has already been accomplished. Feel the happiness and the excitement you will feel at that time. Stay in this positive feeling for a couple of minutes. Let this feeling fill you up with positivity and joy.

• Ask advice from your future self: Looking back from that moment in future where you are celebrating your accomplishment, advice your present self to take just one action today that will take you closer to your goal. The ‘future you’ knows what steps need to be taken to access that future. Trust his wisdom. As soon as the answer comes to you write it down, and take that action sometime during the day. When you take the action, your subconscious mind gets convinced that you are serious about your goal.

• Repeat the above steps everyday: Work on one goal at a time, following the same steps, until you have achieved that goal. Don’t change your goals every day; however, the action to be taken may differ each day. Once a goal is achieved, choose another one and continue creating your dream life. Remember that persistence is the most important attribute for achieving success in life. If you give up before realizing your goal, it means that you don’t really desire it and it doesn’t bring joy to you. Take a re-look at your written statement and reframe it. Or change your goal to one which resonates more completely with you.

All the best for your empowered life!!

Change your Life by changing How you Feel

2011-10-21T09:05:00.001+05:30

All our experiences are defined by our emotional attachment to what is going on in our life. The fact is that none of our experiences are good or bad by themselves. Good or bad are subjective terms and each person's definition of good or bad is influenced by the emotions they attach to it.

We all like good things in our life because they carry positive emotions. What if we could find a positive emotion in every negative emotion that we feel? Wouldn't that be simply amazing?

Every strong emotion that we feel calls us to take some action. When we experience a strong positive emotion, normally we are pretty clear about the action that we need to take. The problem comes when we are smacked with a strong negative emotion and do not know what action to take.

Here are six simple steps to help you transform your negative emotions into positive experiences:-

1. Notice

Whenever you feel a negative emotion, stop and take a notice of it. Just accept your negative mood without trying to justify it. Acknowledge the negative emotion and know that something needs to change.

2. Look for the message

Ask yourself, "What is this negative emotion trying to tell me about my present situation? Do I need to change my perception, approach or action? Am I reacting out of misinterpretation, old filters, limiting beliefs, fears etc?" Look for an answer to these questions.

3. What do you really want?

Ask yourself, "Right now I am feeling…………..(fill in your present emotion), but how do I really want to feel? To feel how I want to feel, what do I really need to believe? In order to believe what I need to believe, what do I need to do?" Answer these questions honestly.

4. Remember the past

Think back to those times when you had felt the very same negative emotion that you are feeling right now. Remember how you got through this emotion at that time. Know that you have been through this before and gotten out of it. And if you could do it at one time, you can do it once again. Derive strength and reassurance from your past struggles and get through your current challenge.

5. Think out of the box

Take a few minutes and think of some creative ways in which you can change your emotion. Take the best idea and visualize it. Soon you will move past the negativity into a zone of creativity.

6. Transform

Now that you have crossed the barrier, take immediate action to transform your negativity into positivity.

Remember, even though you experience your emotions, you are not your emotions. Your emotions may define your experience but they do not define you. So, stop claiming your emotions as self-definitions. For example, instead of saying, 'I am so angry', say, 'I am feeling angry'… It is a small difference but it makes all the difference.

Change your life by changing how you feel…………..

Chitra Jha

Writer
Holistic Healer

Parenting Educator
Self-Transformation Coach
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

Raise your Self-esteem

2011-08-12T20:09:00.000+05:30

Self confidence is like a magic wand which has the power to miraculously create success. When we have confidence in ourselves and our dreams, we can achieve just about anything in life. Our confidence sends out positive vibrations into the universe which attract more opportunities, abundance and positive relationships into our life.

But how can we raise our confidence? Here are a few simple steps to do just that:-

· Relax: It has been said that confidence is our natural state, and whenever we feel fully relaxed, this confident state comes naturally to the fore. Since the key to confidence lies in relaxation, take some time to slow down and relax. Deep breathing, pranayam, yoga and meditation are highly recommended tools for relaxation.

· Smile: A smile brings out a little burst of confidence instantly. Don't forget to wear a smile first thing in the morning. Focus on something that makes you feel like smiling and do this whenever you need a shot of confidence. Confident people are not afraid to smile.

· Be authentic: Don't hide how you truly feel. Don't worry about what others may think. Be truthful and real. Don't hide behind masks. Remember, it is alright to feel pain, and express emotions. Take the risk to be real, and see your energy levels soar. Authentic behavior binds people together while masks create walls. Over a period of time the real, confident you will push out the false, insecure and under-confident you.

· Be silent: Practice remaining silent for some time. Try sitting like a still, silent statue for five minutes every morning. Initially it may not be easy to do absolutely nothing, but soon you will start enjoying the crystal clarity that fills you up when you sit silently. This silence will free you to find courage to do whatever you wish to do in life. You will also discover your childlike nature, which is confident and playful.

Try these four simple tools, make yourself the number one priority in your life and allow yourself to feel confident once again. Confidence will lead you to better financial situation, relationships, career, and health.

Chitra Jha
Inner Peace Counselor
Past Life Regression Therapist
'Inner Child Work' Facilitator
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

We see the world not as it is, but as we are...............

Success follows Happiness

2011-08-03T09:43:00.001+05:30

It has been rightly said that success and happiness walk hand in hand; but our understanding of the concept has been slightly lopsided. We are told that success brings happiness, while the truth is that happiness brings success. Yes, we would all be successful if we learn to be happy first. Here are some ways to feel happy and invite success in your life:-

· Smile: As you flash a genuine smile, it becomes a source of your joy. You don't have to have a reason to smile. Just make smile a habit and never forget to wear it as soon as you get up in the morning. Smile right now and experience happiness.

· Breathe: We are breathing beings who cannot survive without it. And yet, we hardly pay any attention to our breath. Pay attention to your in-breath and out-breath now. Feel the fresh energy filling you up and the stale energy exiting your body. Feel energetic.

· Walk: As you take a quiet, conscious walk, focus on each step that you take. Imagine these steps leading you towards your bright future. Anchor this feeling with your walk, so that every time you take a purposeful step, it leads you to the purpose of your life.

· Be grateful: Happiness comes when we count our blessings, and there is no one in this world, who hasn't been blessed with something to be grateful for. Make a gratitude list right now. Write down everything that you are grateful for. As you write this list, you will start appreciating your life more than you ever have. Remember to express gratitude to all the people in your life, who have made your life worth living. As you express more gratitude, your life will attract more to be grateful for.

· Forgive: It is said that to err is human while to forgive is Divine. So, forgive everyone who has ever done anything to hurt or harm you. As you begin to forgive others for any wrongdoing, you release all your resentments and anger. In the process, your happiness levels grow.

· Stretch: Have you ever seen animals, especially dogs and cats, stretching their bodies? Animals instinctively know that a simple stretch releases all the stale energies from the body cells. Stand up, stretch your limbs and experience the rejuvenation and rejoicing of your cells.

· Dance: Dancing is a wonderful tool to access joy. You can dance with your friends or all by yourself. All you have to do is turn on some music and move with the flow. Dance as often and for as long as you can.

· Play with an animal: Animals make us get in touch with our core energy, as they exhibit unconditional love. If you don't 'own' a pet, you can spend some time with a stray animal; soon their unadulterated love will bowl you over.

· Serve: We are born into this world to offer our unique talents in service. When you serve someone who needs you, you make best use of your body and mind. When you do something nice for someone, your happiness becomes your reward.

· Pray: A prayer is nothing but a conversation with a Higher Power. Treat God as your friend, parent, teacher and soul-mate. Hand over all your troubles to Him and remain happy.

As you inculcate more happiness into your life, your increased vibration will attract more success into your life, across all areas. So, don't worry, be happy………………….

Chitra Jha
Inner Peace Counselor
Past Life Regression Therapist
'Inner Child Work' Facilitator
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

We see the world not as it is, but as we are...............

Manifest Your Desires

2011-07-18T08:22:00.001+05:30

Our traditional society often scoffs at our desires. The popular religions teach us not to have any desires whatsoever. But the fact remains that each one of us desires something or the other in our life. These desires may be tangible or intangible. "I want to earn Rs. 50 lakh in a year", is a tangible desire, while "I want to achieve my highest potential", is an intangible desire. We all carry both, tangible and intangible desires within us.

However, since each one of us is unique, our desires are also unique. These unique desires have been placed inside us for our individual growth and evolution. For example, when we don't desire to do something, it is an indication that the particular task, course of study or job is not well suited for our unique personality; similarly when we desire to do something it is proof enough that we are well equipped to do that job efficiently.

Our desires are signs from the universe which urge us to move in a particular direction. Each desire is a part of the infinite universal power seeking manifestation, creation and expression. If we were to analyze every passionate desire, we would realize that its purpose is to enhance us. Authentic desires are wholesome and nourishing. They always fulfill and satisfy us.

We fulfill each other's desires by the work that we do. When we feel a desire to create something, we can be certain that someone somewhere desires that thing. Similarly, for every person who has something to sell, there is always a person who desires to buy it!

When a desire is put in our heart, the mechanism for its fulfillment is also given to us. All we need to do is apply the required tools in an optimum and efficient manner.

Shahrukh Khan proclaimed in 'Om Shanti Om', "When we desire something with all our heart, the universe conspires to fulfill that desire." This statement is so very true!

What are the factors that help manifest your desires into reality?

· The first important factor is the intensity of your desire. You must have a 'burning' desire to make it happen. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to create your desire. This doesn't mean that you should be unethical in your actions. In fact your actions must fit within your value system; only then can you really succeed in life.

· The second important factor is your belief system. No matter how much you desire a specific outcome, it will not happen unless you completely believe in it; both consciously and subconsciously.

How can you increase the intensity of your desire and influence your belief system?

· In order to develop an intense desire and total belief, you need to vividly visualize your desire as though it has already been fulfilled.

· Involve all your senses in this creative process.

· Ask yourself, "What will I see, hear and feel when my desire gets manifested in my reality?"

· Write down the answer and read it out to yourself. Make any changes if required.

· Schedule a time to sit down and imagine this scene every day.

· Do at least one visualization session in a day. It helps to do it at the same time every day since that ingrains the habit.

· The more often you perform the visualization, the faster your desire will come to you. Once a day is good, twice a day is very good and three times a day is super efficient.

Now take an immediate action. Get a piece of paper and create your vivid visualization. Do it every day and remember to let me know when your desires get manifested!

Chitra Jha
Inner Peace Counselor
Past Life Regression Therapist
'Inner Child Work' Facilitator
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

We see the world not as it is, but as we are...............

Confident or Over-confident

2011-06-08T16:57:00.001+05:30

Whenever I ask people to accept themselves unconditionally and be proud of who they are, the invariable response is, "But won't that make me over-confident and arrogant?" Today, let us put all such doubts to rest by understanding the difference between genuine confidence and over-confidence.

Confidence

· Genuine confidence has nothing to do with pride and arrogance. It is just an honest acknowledgment of our innate capabilities.

· Confidence comes from valuing, validating and having faith in ourselves.

Confident people

· Really confident people do not try to prove anything to anyone.

· They do not seek attention from others.

· They exude a natural magnetism and charisma which attracts people towards them.

· They exhibit joy and happiness at all times.

· They are naturally radiant.

· They are often very quiet and understated, yet they are not afraid to speak their truth.

· They express themselves freely when the situation demands.

· They are always authentic in their expression.

· People love interacting with confident people because they too feel confident in their company.

Over-confidence

· Over-confidence stems from deep feelings of inadequacy and inability to cope with life.

· It is a compensatory mechanism to mask self-doubt.

· Arrogance is one way in which over-confidence raises its ugly head.

Over-confident People

· Over- confident people are usually loud and noisy.

· They speak loudly and forcefully to prove their point.

· They always seek validation from outside.

· Even when they receive the approval they seek from others, they experience an emptiness inside them.

· They do not feel fully satisfied with life and usually remain unhappy.

· People display over-confidence because they do not feel good about themselves.

· They display bravado to compensate for feelings of inferiority.

· They like to make fun of others, but cannot take a joke about them in the right spirit.

· Others can sense the self-doubt that lurks behind the over-confident persona.

How to become more confident?

· Don't judge and berate yourself if you display over-confidence once in a while. Judgment compounds whatever it judges.

· Remember that self-confidence comes from within.

· No amount of outside approval or validation can make us confident from inside.

· Be honest about yourself and your feelings. When you acknowledge your feelings you love and honor yourself.

· If you feel negative about yourself, examine your self-concepts and deep rooted beliefs.

· Most of your concepts and beliefs come from your early childhood experiences.

· Explore your limiting beliefs and re-program yourself.

· Forgive yourself for any perceived negative attributes. You are human and you can make mistakes, but mistakes do not define you.

· The only thing wrong with you is the thought that something is wrong with you which needs to be fixed.

· Instead of trying to fix yourself, confidently reveal yourself.

· Be kind and compassionate to yourself.

· Start believing in yourself because if you don't do that, how can you expect the world to believe in you?

· Remember that you have a free will to change, grow, evolve, transform, blossom and bloom.

· Congratulate yourself for doing your best, pat your back, love and accept yourself completely.

· "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." Buddha.

· The more you love and value yourself, the more you will discover your power, and experience true confidence.

· The power of choice always remains with you.

Chitra Jha
Inner Peace Counselor
Past Life Regression Therapist
'Inner Child Work' Facilitator
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

We see the world not as it is, but as we are...............

Square Pegs in Square Holes

2011-06-07T17:33:00.001+05:30

This is that time of the year when young boys and girls, across the length and breadth of this great country decide their career path. What are the factors which help them 'make' this decision? Ideally, young people should be choosing the subjects that they 'enjoy'; something that they have an aptitude for. But that's not what happens in the 'real' world. Here, the choices depend upon the percentage of marks achieved, qualifications that fetch better paying jobs, professions that the parents have been pursuing, or subject streams that 'sound' good and respectable, something that will ensure a living.

Wait a minute! Isn't there something grossly wrong with this system? Aren't we trying to fit round pegs in square holes? Why are we doing this? Who benefits by this? Certainly not the young wards we wish well for and claim to love!! What is the way out of this self-created mess?

We all know that life is a series of choices; then why make choices that are driven by the external world. It is alright to choose a wardrobe based on current trends but choosing a career path is a very important decision. If you make a wrong decision now, you will find it difficult to retrace your steps.

We must remember that each one of us is unique. And since we are unique beings, our aptitudes are also unique. But what is an aptitude? According to Wikipedia, an aptitude is an 'innate' component of competency; which means that you will be competent doing what you have an aptitude for.

Now how do we decide our aptitude? It is very simple. Just close your eyes and ask yourself, "What is it that I desire the most? What are my skills and abilities? What kind of attitude I have towards certain professions and life in general? What do I enjoy studying? What do I enjoy doing? If time and money were of no consequence, what would I love doing?" A self-assessment will make you fully aware of your aptitudes.

Your aptitude is closely linked with your passion. So what are the benefits of following your passion?

• Your career will be an opportunity for self expression.
• You will grow exponentially.
• You will be happy in your career.
• You will be peaceful.
• You will be focused.
• You will have more clarity.
• You will feel enthusiastic.
• You will take inspired actions.
• You will enjoy your work and give it your full attention.
• You will produce excellent results.
• You will become more productive.
• You will do your best and bring out the best in others.
• Your life will become easier and much more fun.
• You will be in alignment with your life's purpose.
• You will express your unique gift.

And what will happen if you just blindly follow the trends, doing something that you are not passionate about?

You will procrastinate.
• You will get distracted easily.
• You will resist.
• You will struggle.
• You will be unhappy.
• You will carry self-doubt.
• You will feel restless and bored.
• You will stay stuck in a job you don't care about.
• You will not feel completely fulfilled.

Let us take an example from nature. Suppose a mango tree was not being true to itself and wanted to produce oranges. What are the chances of its success? Well, a mango tree may spend its entire lifetime, trying to produce oranges but it will gain nothing except frustration. So the right course of action for a mango tree is to follow the natural law.

A regular mango tree lives in a state of peace, energy, joy and inspiration, being what it is, and happily producing mangoes. This is the path we must choose. But unfortunately we are like that hypothetical mango tree who is at war with itself, trying hard to produce oranges. It is high time we ended this war and found peace within; the peace of who we are!

And that will happen only when we choose the career we are most suited for……….Let the square pegs fit in square holes and leave the round holes for the round pegs……!

Chitra Jha
Inner Peace Counselor
Past Life Regression Therapist
'Inner Child Work' Facilitator
http://mylife-mysuccess.blogspot.com
http://chitrabuddha.sulekha.com

www.lifeuniversityglobal.org

We see the world not as it is, but as we are...............

Now or Later

2011-05-04T22:56:00.001+05:30

There are two kinds of people in this world. Let’s call them the ‘now’ types and the ‘later’ types. Go through the following checklist and decide which type are you?

‘Now’ people

• They are always drawn towards fun activities.
• They want variety in their life, right now.
• They look for immediate gratification in whatever they do.
• Their actions are driven by pleasure.
• Given a choice they always take the easy way.
• They end up spending a lot of time and resources on entertainment, television, food, shopping and mindless activities.
• They get unnerved by uncertainty.
• They delay doing uninteresting or un-pleasurable tasks.
• Their thoughts, words and actions often don’t match.
• They say something and do something else.
• They believe in gratifying their senses.
• They make ‘short-term ‘goals.
• They usually believe in ‘me-first’.
• They prefer to stay in their comfort zone.

‘Later’ people

• They are driven by results instead of immediate gratification.
• They do not indulge in too many fun activities in the present.
• They invest time and resources in taking care of their health.
• They work extra hours to accomplish worthy goals.
• They read good, informative, uplifting books.
• They take extra training to keep themselves up-to-date with the latest in their chosen field.
• They always strive to improve their lives.
• They hang out with interesting and engaging people who help them stretch their thought process.
• They follow through all their actions.
• They take risks when required.
• They are comfortable with being uncomfortable.
• They are not deterred by uncertainty.
• Their thoughts, words and actions remain in alignment.
• They act while others preach.
• They take themselves and their deep desires seriously.
• They make ‘long-term’ goals.
• They possess integrity.
• They like to stretch beyond their limitations.

Which of these two groups do you identify with? Don’t be seduced by immediate pleasures of life. Success resides with those people who can forego gratification in the present moment, and perform actions which are necessary to achieve a worthy goal. Successful people act while others are busy having fun or just whiling away their time.

Become aware. Choose success.

Trust and Faith

2011-05-04T22:50:00.001+05:30

Thanks to a greater understanding about the power of the word and imagination, a great many people are using affirmations and visualizations to create their dream lives. However, there are some points that need revision and emphasis while working with this empowering process. Some of these are:-

• When you visualize your dream life, the picture must be backed by a strong and unshakable faith that your dream is already a reality.

• As you mentally live in the visuals, enjoy them completely, believing that you have received them completely.

• Repeating mere words doesn’t really help, but holding your vision with unshakable faith and trust does.

• Have complete trust in your own abilities and faith in your subconscious mind’s ability to bring your dream into reality.

• Be as certain of your dream coming true, as you are of the sun rising every day. Have no doubts whatsoever. Complete trust takes us to exactly the right place for us.

• You cannot change your circumstances overnight, but you can live your present life fully and cheerfully, with the confidence that your real life is unfolding in unknown, but certain ways.

• The universe is the pilot of the plane of which you are the co-pilot. It may not be a calm flight but safe landings are assured.

• The task ahead of you is not as great as the power within you.

• The universe has reserved all the resources and opportunities required for your dream’s fulfillment, in your name. No one can take them away from you. These things are waiting for you to open yourself up and receive them.

• Know that whatever you need in the process of creating your dream will come to you. Do not look at the visible resources. Trust that you will be provided with not what you want but what you need. Let this trust grow.

• You will know that your dreams are about to be fulfilled when people, money and opportunities come together simultaneously and almost effortlessly, waiting for you to show up and say yes to them.

• It is necessary to understand that it is not you who has to do the work of manifesting anything. The all-powerful essence of the universe will do that. You only have to allow the universal power, which created the world, to create your dreams. And you can do that by letting go of your negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings about your desires.

• Remember, you will receive only when you can believe. If you doubt the manifestation process, the things will start moving away from you as certainly as they were moving towards you.

• Faith believes that something you cannot see will surely happen. Fear too believes that something you cannot see will surely happen. The only difference lies in what one imagines will happen. You can imagine positive future scenarios, and get filled with hope, faith and enthusiasm, or you can imagine negative future scenarios and become fearful and desperate.

• Destroy your own doubts and stay away from people who doubt your capabilities.

You are like a flower which is beginning to bloom. The flower feels its growth and allows it to happen. It trusts and believes in its flowering and happily basks in the sun. You too must trust and enjoy the process of your flowering.
Success comes to those who trust themselves.

Take Back Your Power

2011-03-02T17:57:00.000+05:30

Who have you given away your power to? Why do you feel so helpless in life? Well, as I see things, most of us have given away our power to ‘other people’. These ‘others’ come in many guise; they may be our family members, our teachers, our peers, our superiors, or our media. Why do we give away our power to them? We do that because we want to be accepted. We want to please people, in order to please ourselves. Our actions stem from our lack of confidence in our own abilities. We do not trust our own opinions.

There are a great many people (the majority) out there who willingly accept the thoughts and edicts of others. They don’t question anything that they are told. It is astounding but understandable considering the kind of premium our society places on ‘obeying and valuing’ the ‘experts’ opinion’. Since our birth we are being trained to delegate our thinking and just ‘obey’ the elders for they know what is ‘best’ for us. Thus we learn to give away our ‘power’ to others from our ‘cradle’ days, and we dutifully keep doing it until we are put into our ‘graves’.

Everyone around you (including you) considers you incapable of forming an opinion. Otherwise why would they show a news item on TV and then call in ‘the experts’ to express their opinion on it. Whether you like it or not, everyone (especially the advertising world) is out there to brain wash you. Why? Because you ‘gave’ your power to them. When did you do it? You did it when you stopped trusting your own ‘instincts’. You did it when you started following ‘the trend’; doing things because they are ‘done’ (everyone is doing them).

You do everything ‘blindly’. You allow the market trends to decide what course of study you should pursue; your own ‘interest’ in a subject is of no consequence. You allow doctors to pump medicines into your body, without questioning any of it; your body’s wisdom doesn’t count! Soliciting outside advice and help is one thing but blindly accepting other people’s thoughts and beliefs without any discernment on your part is equal to sacrilege. It violates your responsibility to yourself. There is an old saying, “The undiscerning mind is like the roots of a tree, they absorb equally all that they touch, even the poison that would kill the tree.”

Blind acceptance of existing norms is like volunteering to drink poison. You do not need to blindly accept all that your parents, siblings, teachers, political leaders, media commentators, friends or co-workers have been drilling into you. You must decide everything for yourself. Of course, you must seek people’s opinions but the final responsibility for your life lies upon you. You are the master of your own destiny. You must believe in yourself, your dreams, and your thoughts.

To take back your power in your own hands, you must become aware of your thinking process. You will ‘discover’ that most of the thoughts that you habitually think are not your own. You may also discover that most of your thoughts make you fearful of your future. Once you understand that your thoughts create your reality; it will do you great good to immediately change your fearful thoughts into ‘empowering’ ones. Every thought that you think creates your ‘world’. Become the ‘architect’ of your world. You have not taken birth as a human being in order to become a ‘robot’. You need not follow the trend, just to fit in. You need not always play it safe. You need not operate from a ‘default’ setting.

You must tap into your inner self for guidance on a daily basis and express the wisdom from within. Within you lies the most authentic source of wisdom! Ask for this wisdom, listen to it and accept its guidance. Learn to interpret the ‘voice’ of your inner self and take inspired action to express your true self.

Well, your so called ‘well-wishers’ may tell you that it is ‘egotistical’ to rely on your own thoughts. They will say that you are not yet ‘ready’ to do so. Listen to them; if you will, but once you learn to take back your power in your own hands, you will finally ‘know’ your true ‘worth’!!

The Heart Sings and the Eyes Shine

2011-03-02T16:06:00.001+05:30

Think of the times when your heart sings and eyes shine? What makes that happen? What are you doing at those times? Think of all that comes to your mind and write it down. This is a very important list for you. Read it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Read it whenever you feel low, under-confident or inadequate. Add more to it when you are truly joyful.

When you appreciate your life, you get ready for more exciting times, and your life unfolds in better ways. As you remember those things which make your heart sing and eyes light up, you call forth more of such experiences into your life.

Here is a list of what makes my heart sing and my eyes light up………

When I spread the message of self empowerment
When I talk to small children and smile at them
When I sing
When I am in nature
When I talk about my work
When I do some creative work
When I receive appreciation
When people seek me out for advice
When I receive money for my work
When I give money out of love
When I give of myself
When I buy some beautiful piece of clothing or a pretty trinket
When I look beautiful
When I laugh
When I am with my soul family

This is my story……….what is yours!!!

Taking Risks

2011-03-02T15:54:00.003+05:30

We are told that ‘risk taking’ is a leadership trait which is essential for achieving success in life; but when we propose to do something new and creative we are usually discouraged to move forward as it involves taking risks. Isn’t it paradoxical? Why do we fear risks?

What do you think people, including their parents, must have told Wright brothers, Orville and Wilber, when they talked about flying heavier -than -air machines? Some would have laughed at them, others might have jeered. Their father, Pastor Wright must have said, “If God wanted men to fly like birds, He would have given them wings!!” His parish must have sympathized with the Pastor for siring two gullible boys, who were palmed off a risky hoax by some smart alec.

What do you think must have transpired when someone proposed a harebrained idea of ‘talking’ pictures? How outlandish must a landing on moon and people walking on its surface must have seemed? People, giving voice to such ‘ridiculous’ ideas, must have been berated, time and again, by their fellow brethren!

But the fact remains that all such so-called ‘crazy’ people with ‘silly’ ideas who dared to move beyond time-tested concepts and took risks are today known as geniuses, revolutionaries, pioneers, visionaries and heroes. They earned enough fame, name and wealth because they took the risk of questioning others and themselves. They dared to challenge all those limitations which the rest of the people took for-granted.

There is something in everyone’s life experience; whether professional, business or personal, which can be implemented in a better, more efficient and more productive manner. What distinguishes a genius from an ordinary person is the ability to spot that opportunity and take it forward. It may take much more time than you first thought; it may cost much more than you initially estimated, and it may strain all your resources more than you envisioned; but once you decide to take a calculated risk and undertake something ambitious, the costs and resources are well worth it.

You may make false starts. You may face some embarrassments. You may make costly errors. But the potential outcome of your endeavors could be as brilliant and outrageous as flying in the air and walking on the moon.

There are many frontiers left to be conquered. There are many challenges left to be overcome. There are many achievements left to be claimed. But the problem is that there aren’t enough risk-takers, explorers and inventors amongst us. There aren’t enough inquisitive people who ask the right and most obvious questions. There aren’t enough self-assured mavericks who challenge the conventional wisdom. There aren’t enough geniuses who are willing to do things which may initially make them look stupid.

Ask yourself, “Do I have a dream in my heart? Am I willing to make mistakes while pursuing my dream? Am I willing to take the requisite risks?”

Your affirmative answer might just change our world!!!!!

Customer Service

2011-01-21T13:21:00.001+05:30

If you are in the service industry and want your customers to keep coming back to you, follow these guidelines:-

• Always keep your promises: Be on time for each meeting with your customers. Stay ready and prepared to work. Deliver exactly what you promise. Charge exactly what you publish. Stand behind your work by offering a satisfaction guarantee.
• Be willing to help: Show that your desire to help your customers is not just motivated by money. Help your customers move forward in life. Let your customers leave you feeling better than when they came to you.
• Inspire confidence: Make your customers feel confident in your ability to help them. Make them view you as an expert in your field. Demonstrate your expertise as you work.
• Treat customers with respect: Treat customers as individuals by customizing your work to meet their needs. Treat them with kindness, politeness and courtesy.
• Make it easy to do business with you: Keep good records of all your customer information. Let customers feel confident that you will respond to their concerns quickly and professionally. Keep all customer information confidential.
• Do an excellent job: Let all aspects of your products or services communicate high quality and consummate professionalism. Let your customers expect high standard from you and get it. Whatever you do always do an excellent job.

Some 'do's and don'ts

2011-01-20T19:32:00.001+05:30

Follow these 'do’s and don’ts to become successful:

'Do’s

• Value mistakes as necessary feedbacks for improvement.
• Love without conditions or expectations.
• Forgive others as everyone acts according to their current level of consciousness and understanding.
• Help others with the understanding that ultimately they are responsible for their life.
• Make a conscious choice to be free. Hold your freedom as a priority which can’t be compromised.
• Take full responsibility for your state of mind. Value your inner peace more than winning or proving your point.
• Commit yourself to awareness of your inner dialogue and states of mind.
• Prioritize well- being over negativity.
• Value your energy and conserve it by not wasting it on anger, fear, jealousy, hatred and negativity.
• Do your best to face challenges and fulfill responsibilities.
• Understand the difference between what exists in thought and what exists in reality.

Don’ts

• Don’t be satisfied with a superficial change of behavior. Make an inner change which is the source of all behavior.
• Don’t let your emotions be controlled by others.
• Don’t engage in self-defeating behavior.
• Don’t let anger guide your hand.
• Don’t let fear inhibit your actions.
• Don’t let desires govern your life.
• Don’t let attachments bind you.
• Don’t cheat yourself by wasting your time.
• Do not put yourself in a box. Your limited identity is self-defined and self-imposed.
• Don’t carry a strict idea of yourself to which you must conform.
• Don’t make any comparisons with others, as you are neither above nor below anyone.
• Don’t try to control or possess others.
• Don’t depend upon others for validation or approval.
• Don’t wait for an external authority to tell you what is right and what is wrong. You are your own authority.
• Don’t attempt to appear different than you are, regardless of who you are around.
• Don’t judge others or attempt to change them. Allow them the freedom to be themselves.
• Don’t allow your past to interfere with your present; learn from it and let it go.
• Don’t react to situations and people.
• Don’t run from your problems or put off responsibilities.

Do you love yourself?

2011-01-19T19:15:00.001+05:30

Loving ourselves is an important step towards achieving success in life. Some of us think that we are unworthy of love while some think that it is inappropriate to love ourselves, but the fact remains that until we can love ourselves, we can’t achieve our highest potential.

Each one of us is a combination of positive, negative, and neutral qualities. Each unique combination makes us who we are; with some good bits which we admire and some tendencies that we wish we didn’t have. This is a part of being human.

If you can’t embrace your imperfections, pick at least one attribute that you admire in yourself. Perhaps you can pick many such attributes. Can you love yourself for these positive qualities?

Now ask your near and dear ones what they love about you. Add this quality to your list of things to love yourself for. Say loudly, “I deeply and completely love myself.” How does it feel? If it feels good, repeat it as often as you can.

The benefits of loving ourselves

• When we love and care for ourselves, we can truly love others without ‘needing’ their love in return.
• We remain healthy and happy.
• We become more resilient when facing stress, challenges and adversity.
• We maintain broad perspective and identify solutions.
• We make better decisions and perform at a higher level.
• We find it easy to be grateful.
• We appreciate others more easily.
• We make friends easily and garner more support from our colleagues.
• We give from the ‘over-flow’ and do not deplete our own energy.
• We become more successful at whatever we do.

Don't get bullied

2011-01-19T19:12:00.001+05:30

Bullies are found everywhere and create unnecessary stress in the environment. More often than not they are very insecure people. Hence, they want to control everything and everyone in order to feel secure.

Here are some characteristics of a typical bully:

• Bullies use demeaning language, humiliation, intimidation, threats and violence to promote their own selfish agenda.
• Bullies make constant belittling comments, resort to name calling and put others down.
• Bullies prefer easy targets. If they sense that someone will not succumb to their ways, or will take action against them, they look for another target.
• Bullies pay attention to those targets who are not prepared to fight back.
• Bullies prefer to target those people who get upset and emotional when harassed.
• Bullies prefer to attack when there are not many witnesses.

How to tackle a bully?

• Refuse to be bullied
• Walk away from an abusive situation
• Establish a clear boundary between you and the bully
• Document your experiences and gather witnesses.
• Write down dates, times and incidents of bullying.
• Be specific in your details.
• Report the bullying behavior to appropriate authority by handing over the documents.
• Look for better environment.

Personal SWOT Analysis

2011-01-19T19:06:00.000+05:30

SWOT analysis is a management tool that can effectively be used for our personal growth. SWOT stands for: Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats

Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four quadrants. Label each area as S, W, O, T. Write down the answers to following questions in the allotted quadrant.

Strengths:

• What skills and capabilities do I possess?
• Which areas do I excel in?
• What are my unique gifts?
• Which personal qualities, values and beliefs help me stand out?

Weaknesses:

• What negative belief- viruses am I carrying?
• What are the gaps in my capabilities?
• What skills do I need to develop?
• Which areas of my life can I improve upon?
• Which personal difficulties do I need to work through to reach my goals?

Opportunities:

• Which opportunities are currently available to me?
• Which circumstances can help me achieve my goals?
• Which people could offer me support in achieving my goals?
• Which tools are available to help me grow?
• What steps am I taking to create changes in my life?

Threats:

• What obstacles am I currently facing?
• Which thought processes can hinder my growth?
• Which fears are holding me back?
• Which people could be a hindrance in my progress?

This analysis will help you highlight the aspects of your growth story that you may not have ever considered. This will provide you with a different perspective on your personality.

Go ahead, review your strengths, and consider ways to address your weaknesses. Develop your skills and capabilities. Review your opportunities and use them to your advantage. Think of ways to minimize or eliminate your threats. Such actions are a one way ticket to success. Failure has no role to play here, as it just does not exist. All that exists and always did are opportunities and challenges!

Winners vs. Losers

2011-01-19T19:03:00.000+05:30

There are some habits which distinguish a winner from a loser. Some of these habits are:

• Losers decide to do something but don’t do it or decide not to do something, but go ahead and do it, under external pressure; winners do just the opposite. They decide to do something and do it, or decide not to do something and don’t do it.
• Losers see problems in every opportunity; winners see opportunity in every problem.
• Losers move based on instinct or impulse; winners act upon much deliberated decisions.
• Losers are too proud to admit their mistakes; winners are proud that they learn from their mistakes.
• Losers reject suggestions because the acceptance makes them feel inferior; winners welcome suggestions because they are open to learning.
• Losers call it quits at the first signs of failure; winners treat failures as stepping stones to success. Losers don’t have the power of persistence; winners always go after their dreams.
• Losers envy winners; winners congratulate every successful person.
• Losers only want to have pleasure; winners manage a proper balance between work and leisure.
• Losers want an easy life without any suffering or hardship; winners know that what one sows is what one reaps. They know that efforts and action don’t go unnoticed. They make through trials and errors, without giving up.
• Losers dream but don’t act; winners are always willing to do everything which is necessary to achieve their dreams.
• Losers don’t move forward, because they are afraid to come out of their comfort zone; winners move forward by refusing to tolerate all negative things which hold them back. They create space in their life for positive experiences.
• Losers think of all that is impossible; winners think of infinite possibilities.
• Losers submit passively to surroundings and events; winners make choices based upon what they want to do, have and become.
• Losers let others change their goals; winners believe in themselves and their dreams.

Are you a loser or a winner?

Decipher Body Language

2010-12-16T13:57:00.000+05:30

Body language is the unspoken communication we use in our face to face encounter with people. Communication experts tell us that our words convey only 7% of our thoughts and feelings; rest is conveyed by our body language. Body language makes or mars our chances in job interviews, networking, and social meetings.
While it is important to be aware of our own body’s communication, we can use our knowledge of body language to decipher what others are conveying without saying anything.

Here are some guidelines that you could use to understand other people’s non-verbal communication:

• Notice the distance the other person is keeping from you. If s/he is too close, he is pushy or in your face. If too far away, he is aloof, distant and standoffish.

• Watch the angle of his body. If he is friendly and interested in you, his body will lean towards you. On the contrary, if he is leaning backwards, he is cold and unfriendly.

• Look at his arms. If they are crossed over his chest, he is defensive and wants you to stay away from him.

• Look at his eyes. If he is looking into your eyes, he respects you and is interested in what you are saying. If he is looking down, he is either shy or deceitful. He may be lying to you. If he is looking at his watch or thinking of what to say next, he is not interested in your talk.

• Look at his head. If it is leveled, he is confident and knows his importance. If his head is tilting to one side he is friendly and interested in you.

• Look at his lips. If they are pursed or twisted, he is either thinking carefully about what you said or disagrees with you but is holding back his comment. He is certainly not very pleased with you.

• Look at his hands. If he is fiddling with something, he is clearly nervous.

• Look at his legs. If he is shuffling from one leg to the other, he is impatient.

Achieve your dreams

2010-11-03T18:28:00.000+05:30

All of us have a dream. This dream matters to us and we intend to achieve it. But as we live our lives unexpected events pose many challenges on our path. The economy, education, illness and reality ask us to stop dreaming and start focusing on what is already there in our life. And, yet, we can’t let go of our dream.

If you are one such person with a dream in your heart and a will to achieve it, follow these guidelines:-

• Become comfortable with uncertainties. True creation happens out of uncertain times.
• Know that you were created to create. Allow time and space for this to occur.
• Have extraordinary faith and take action on what is important to you. Don’t wait for any assurances or guarantees.
• Relax. As you relax, your ego with its agenda, fears and doubts will slip away.
• Learn to become empty. As you empty your cup, it can be filled again with better stuff.
• Become aware that it is more powerful to move toward what you want than move away from what you don’t want.
• See all points of view, all sides, and new perspectives regarding your dream.
• Have the courage, clarity and commitment to share your dream and ideas to empower others.
• Think of making the world a better place.
• Live in integrity. Keep your agreements with yourself and others.
• Develop a purpose, mission, vision, calling and dream in many areas of your life.
• Believe in yourself and your dreams.
• Say ‘yes’ to all opportunities that come your way.

Success sutras

2010-11-03T18:25:00.000+05:30

No molly-coddling. Be a little hard-hearted with yourself.

• Do not stand any nonsense.
• Do not accept excuses.
• Move on without regret. Free your heart.
• Do not berate yourself for something you did or didn’t do.
• Do not spend time trying to undo your every action or inaction.
• Do not waste time wishing you had done this or that.
• Be responsible.
• Do not play the blame game with yourself.
• Be aware of every opportunity that comes your way.
• Do not keep re-visiting the past. Live in the now.
• Get on with your life.
• Don’t hold yourself back.
• Be forward moving.
• Stop looking back.
• If you need to apologize to someone, do it now.
• Give yourself credit for all that is working in your life.

Improve Your Focus to Achieve Success

2010-09-20T12:28:00.001+05:30

It has been said that the main reason people fail in achieving their goals is because of their broken focus. Unless we have a laser like focus on whatever it is that we do/want, it is more than likely that we won’t achieve it. In fact what we will gain instead is a state of frustration and confusion.

How can we increase our focus and get rid of frustration and confusion? Before we understand that, we need to ask ourselves a few questions.

• Do you really know what you want? Do you want to know it?
• Do you live with vague wants; such as ‘I want to be successful; I want to be rich; I want a good life; etc?
• Are you scared of making a decision? Is it because of the fear of not being able to achieve it?
• Are you afraid of making mistakes?
• Do you believe in yourself?
• Are you telling yourself, “There is no point wanting that, I’ll never get it?”
• Are you aware that your beliefs create your reality?
• Are you scared that if you went for what you want, you will have to leave a lot of things behind?
• Are you so caught up in doing what others want from you that you have forgotten what you want for yourself?
• Does your happiness depend upon other people’s happiness?
• If someone asks you a simple question like, ‘what would you like for dinner?’ Do you find yourself saying, “It doesn’t matter?” Is that how you are treating your life with, ‘it doesn’t matter’?
• Have you given up on yourself?

Your answers to these questions will reveal a lot about your focus. If you are not focused enough, the following tips will help:

• Be clear about what you really want in/from life. You truly have everything that you need to achieve your dreams right inside you. You can achieve any goal provided you are focused and ready to work with your subconscious. You can train yourself for success. You can get most out of yourself and your inner powers. You can make your life easy and fulfilling. All you have to do is decide what is important to you and come up with a plan to achieve it.
• Making a decision now doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind ever. In fact, an increased focus will let you see clearly if this is what you really want.
• Writing down your goal, objective and plans increases your chances of success by about 80%. The best part is that you don’t have to be clear about all the details of your plan. You only need to make a list of what you want and a general idea about how to get there. Just writing down your goal along with a sketchy plan is enough to propel you into action. They say that 80% of those who write down their goals end up achieving them. Then why is it that only about 5% people actually put their goals down in writing? Why do you think this writing down business is so effective? It is effective because when you write down your success plan, you send a message to your subconscious mind that you are ready for success. When you write it confidently, you tell the Universe that you will accept nothing less than success. This process is powerful as it sends a powerful message to your subconscious mind to get going with the plans and modify them as and when required. This process is known as co-creation. In this way you co-create success, in partnership with your subconscious mind.
• Break up your big goal into smaller bits. Increase your focus step by step. How about increasing it by about 2% every day? You can do it.
• Collect your scattered energies. If you focus on too many things at the same time, your focus can’t be laser sharp.
• Get rid of the ‘I don’t know’ syndrome. You better know what you want. If you keep saying ‘I don’t know’, your brain will begin to agree with you. Perhaps you don’t know what you want because you have never really thought about it. Think about it now. Most of us plan our vacations and our parties more thoroughly than we plan our lives.
• Remember, focus leads to smart actions which lead to an improved momentum. It makes us shine in our chosen sphere.

So get focused, decide what you truly want to achieve and send right signals to your subconscious mind.

Being The Best We Can Be

2010-09-18T23:55:00.000+05:30

Each one of us wants to be/ do/ have better than we currently are/do/have. We want to be smarter/ happier/ richer/ thinner/ wittier/ more successful/ more lovable and more popular than we are right now. We want to do better in studies, jobs and relationships. We want to have better jobs, bank balances, cars, gadgets, and lives; and why not? Why should we settle for something less than we can be/ do/ have? We must fulfill ourselves and live up to our highest potential.

Why is it that we don’t achieve our highest potential? It is because we don’t operate out of mature, adult judgment. It is because we don’t take the most appropriate course of action. It is because we don’t make intelligent, considered choices in our best interest. It is because we operate out of some outdated attitudes that we acquired in our formative years. It is because we don’t question our immature attitudes. It is because we don’t know what damaging thoughts are lurking right below the level of our conscious awareness. Yes, our subconscious attitudes make us behave in a certain manner. The reality is that we are not in control of our attitude; our attitude controls us. We are not even consciously aware of our pre-dispositions and attitudes.

How can we take corrective measures in order to be the best we can be? Here are some pointers:

• Don’t compare yourself with your more successful friends and relatives. This comparison confirms your underlying beliefs of inferiority and inadequacy.
• Don’t criticize yourself for your imperfections. Your criticism strengthens your painful thoughts about your inadequacy.
• Don’t remain unhappy. While thinking of living a better life, remain happy with whatever you have. This seems like a paradox, but it is the primary mantra for achieving a better life. Being happy increases your energy field and attracts opportunities towards you.
• Don’t lose self-respect. Always love and respect yourself. Make a list of your qualities that you can respect and love yourself for.
• Don’t wear a false mask. Be honest about your feelings. If you are feeling unworthy, accept this feeling.
• Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Setbacks are a part of life. They only help you in learning from your mistakes. Don’t take your failures personally. Everyone fails at something at some point or the other in their lives.
• Don’t feel unworthy of success. Each one of us deserves to have a great life.
• Don’t shun so called ‘bad’ experiences. In life both good and bad happens. Accept both with equanimity.
• Don’t try to control others. Live and let live.
• Don’t look for security. Security is an illusion. Anything physical is not permanent. Look for growth and evolution instead.
• Don’t remain anxious about the results of your efforts. The results will be seen at the right time. Keep doing your work with faith and commitment.
• Don’t think of yourself as better than or less than others. Each one is a unique individual capable of achieving the best.
• Don’t unnecessarily try to please others. Be pleasant with all.
• Don’t withdraw into yourself. Remain open and friendly with all.
• Don’t rebel against authority. Be amiable. Put your point across amicably.
• Don’t be too submissive. Have self-respect.
• Don’t blame others for your problems. Take complete responsibility for all that you have in your life.
• Don’t criticize others. It lowers your vibrations and attracts criticism of your actions. Criticism of any kind always re-bounces back to you.
• Don’t plan and schedule ‘everything’ in advance. Keep room for uncertainties. Welcome uncertainties in your life.
• Don’t see life in terms of ‘always’ and ‘never’; ‘right’ and ‘wrong’; ‘black’ and ‘white’; ‘winner’ and ‘loser’. Follow the middle path.
• Don’t always think of winning an argument. Arguments can never be won. Accept others’ point of view but follow your own truth.
• Don’t be stubborn. Listen to others.
• Don’t defend yourself. You don’t have to prove anything. If someone doesn’t agree with you, so be it.
• Don’t feel responsible for others. Your primary responsibility is to yourself. Help others become responsible for themselves.
• Don’t evaluate others on the basis of external appearances. Things are not always as they seem. Respect everyone.

It takes courage to be the best we can be, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Remember, you are worth it!!!

The Power of Purpose

2010-09-14T12:00:00.000+05:30

How many of us live truly purposeful lives and how many just drift along, always trying to fit in with the trends; living life on others’ terms? A lack of an individual or collective purpose makes us feel inadequate, helpless and powerless. Lao Tzu, a famous Chinese philosopher living over 2500 years ago had said, “The biggest problem in the world today is that individuals experience themselves as powerless.” We haven’t progressed much on this count in these two and a half millenniums. We still feel helpless, negative, lethargic, frustrated, and resentful. We often live in fear, enslaved by our circumstances, which we think are beyond our control. All these are signs of powerlessness. Our efforts to achieve success in any field are sabotaged by powerlessness as it breeds negativity, helplessness and inertia.

True power comes with purpose. It brings an inner awareness, an inner state of being in control; an inner knowing that we can achieve our goals. It brings a calm conviction about our true identity. It makes us believe that we can achieve all that we set out to achieve in life. It gives us a quiet confidence in our abilities. It helps us set a direction for our life. It makes us distinguish among circumstances over which we have some control and over which we have no control. This power makes us define ourselves from inside out. It makes our internal space a positive one. From this space, our internal dialogue always moves us towards self confidence. We constantly keep affirming, “I am a capable person. I can handle all life challenges with élan. I am creative. I learn from all my mistakes. Etc. etc.”

Mahatma Gandhi is a shining example of a person who used the power of purpose in the most effective manner. He held no political office. He didn’t possess great wealth. He was a small, frail, scantily clad man, who took on the might of the British Empire and drove the erstwhile rulers without firing a single shot. How did he achieve this supposedly impossible goal? He could do it with the power of purpose; the power which can move mountains and achieve miracles.

How can we cultivate this power in our lives? This power comes with a vision for our future. It comes when we open up to new possibilities. It comes when we nurture our inherent strengths. Yes, each one of us has been granted numerous gifts by nature/ God/ Universe/ Spirit/ Energy/ Intelligence…….whatever name you may call it. Ask yourself, “What are the blessings/ gifts/ powers that I have been blessed with so far?” Make a list of these blessings. Your list could include a safe and secure home, loving family, fresh drinking water, plenty of food, good health, sound mind, education, employment, friends, freedom from life threats, talents, abilities etc.

Once you have made this list, you are ready to ask the next question. Ask yourself, “Why have I been given all these gifts? What is the purpose?” This is a very important question, so let the answer come in from deep inside you. For some the purpose could be to experience love, joy, beauty, and aliveness. For some others it could be sharing the gifts and supporting others in living joyful, authentic lives. Some may be inclined to create conditions where everyone can live with inner security and peace. Some may wish to understand more about the human nature and human experience. There can be as many purposes as there are people, since each one of us is unique, with our unique bouquet of gifts and talents!

Once you have identified your most compelling purpose you are ready for the final question. Ask yourself, “How am I going to use my gifts to the fullest? What actions do I need to take today in the direction of my life’s purpose? How can I align my gifts with the purpose I have identified?” Whichever way you may frame this question, but the answer to this question will give you the power of purpose. This answer will make you look at each moment as an opportunity to march forward on your chosen path.

So go ahead, ask these questions, honestly answer them and find your power of purpose. This power will propel you towards dizzying heights of success in any chosen field…….because this field will be in alignment with who you are!!!!

Why do you want what you want?

2010-09-10T09:17:00.000+05:30

Anyone who wishes to improve his/her lot has to be very clear on what s/he wants from life. This clarity of intention is the most important step in manifesting your desires. Writing all your wants on a piece of paper helps further in giving absolute clarity to your thoughts; but what actually clinches the deal is a simple three letter question word, ‘WHY’.

We have to be absolutely clear on why we want what we want. Why do you want more money? Why do you want to become an IAS officer? Why do you want to get 95% marks? Why do you want to write a book? Why do you want to build a house? Why? Why? Why? Keep your focus on why you are doing what you are doing. If your focus is not right, you will give up your dreams at the first possible obstacle that comes in your way. Ever wondered why 90% of people fail at improving their lot in life? This is the reason; they don’t keep their focus on the ‘why’. They are not clear why they want what they want. They don’t know the real benefits. They are just following the herd mentality. Are you one of them?

Our problem is that we get stuck in ‘how’. How will I study? How will I clear the entrance exam? How will I get there? How will I get a job? How will I get a promotion? Etc. We keep asking, “How will I do this? How will I do that?” These ‘hows’ make us anxious. They keep us worried. They make us waste energy in trying to figure out how we will accomplish things. All this wasted and ill-focused energy only pushes away our desires and dreams further. We feel disheartened when we don’t get any answers to our hows.

Our sub-conscious mind is very literal. It needs to be convinced that what you dream about is what you really want. It needs to be told about it in unambiguous terms. So what is it that you truly want? Not what you think you ‘should’ want or what others want for you? If you are still talking about, “I have to do this. I should do this. This is the done thing. This is in vogue now. I must do this. This is the only way to achieve success. My parents want me to do this. This was my father’s dream. Etc”, your subconscious will resist you. It will give you all the logical reasons as to why you can’t do this. But if your focus has been on ‘why’ you desire something and you are very clear about it, your subconscious will work as a willing partner in bringing your dreams to fruition.

Your focus on why you want something will keep you motivated to work towards your goal. Temporary setback will not bother you. You will remain committed until you achieve your goal. This strategy has worked for thousands of people and it will work for you. You may have a different desire than others do but the underlying principles remain the same for all. So tell me, “Why do you want what you want?”

Magnetize your Thoughts

2010-09-04T12:39:00.000+05:30

I get a lot of feedback on my columns and most of it is from youngsters. Quite a few of them ask me how to concentrate on their studies. I tell them about focus, deep breathing and meditation. Those of you who have taken my advice and have practiced concentration in some form, viz., meditation, prayer, contemplation etc, know what it is like to quiet your mind. Those of you, who have never formally practiced doing it, have been indulging in it while day-dreaming, or being in deep thought. Yes, whether consciously or unconsciously, each one of us accomplishes concentration and focus sometime or the other. What we are not generally aware of is the fact that we generate an electro-magnetic field of attraction or repulsion with our thoughts, through the release of hormones and chemicals from our endocrine system. More focused we are, stronger is this electro-magnetic field. Stronger the electro-magnetic field, better the attraction of our desired goals towards us.

Our thoughts originate in the brain but travel through every cell of our body. They produce micro-electrical charges (we experience this charge as feelings) in our neural passages. These electrical charges are magnetic in character. These magnetic waves attract all our life experiences to us. They also repel some events/people/situations from our experience. Thus we create our life circumstances.
Most of our thoughts are sub-conscious, which means that they operate below our conscious awareness. These thoughts hold great power and by default run/ ruin our lives. Whether we like it or not, these thoughts too travel through the positive/negative receptors of our cells. These thoughts too initiate release of peptides from our endocrine glands. These thoughts too produce electric charges and become magnetic. The truth is that our subconscious thoughts unconsciously drive our choices.

Now you understand the reason for the gap between your conscious desires and unconscious life choices that you make. If you have desired something and not achieved it as yet, please examine your sub-conscious thoughts. Look at the separation between your unconscious thoughts and your conscious desires. For example, you may desire to become a doctor, you are studying for the entrance exams, but your subconscious thoughts go like, ‘I am not doctor material. MBBS entrance is really tough. I will have to study for 8 years before I can establish my practice. I don’t really like blood and stuff…..etc. etc.’ with this train of thoughts, you will attract tough question papers and you will repel your chances of securing a seat. Success comes to us only when our conscious desires are in sync with our subconscious choices!!

When we become aware that every thought we think (whether consciously or unconsciously) operates at levels we are not aware of (through an electro-magnetic field), we understand how we are creating our reality in each moment. This awareness is our moment of Truth. This awareness empowers us to take complete charge of our lives.

Each thought produces a combination of brain waves in each moment, yet we can choose to focus on one brain wave over another at will. Most of the times, our operating frequency produces endless programs of fear, doubt and limitation! These are the programs that usually run/ruin our lives. When we are more focused on our work, we think fewer thoughts. In this state, we can control our thoughts to a greater extent.

Our mind is designed in such a way that it can’t hold two thoughts at the same time. Try thinking about two things together. You can’t do it. The more persistent thought will displace the weaker thought. By using this property to your advantage, you can concentrate on thoughts of success, prosperity, compassion and joy. Over a period of time your old thinking patterns will simply dissolve through lack of use.

We can access our power by letting our wants and desires regulate our thinking. We can also be in tune with the micro-electric charges produced by these thoughts, through our feelings. Good feelings tell us that we are magnetizing good in our lives. Bad feelings tell us that we are repelling our good and attracting the un-desirable into our lives. It is that simple. By staying in tune with our feelings we can monitor our thoughts, and choose empowering thoughts. The feelings let us have a conscious access to our subconscious thought processes. They can help us de-link from our limiting, fearful thoughts and cultivate positive, magnetic thoughts!!!

Learn to Listen

2010-09-03T13:24:00.002+05:30

The biggest complaint of parents these days is that their children don’t listen to them. This habit of ‘not listening’ carries on until someday some soft skills instructor teaches them ‘how to listen’. I believe that the first duty you have towards yourself is to listen: listen to everything around you, including that small voice which speaks from within. Listening is an art and if learnt well it unleashes a creative force in us.

We all like people who listen to us; because when someone gives us a patient hearing we feel that s/he understands us. Don’t you like to be listened to? The need to be understood is the most basic human need. Then why is it that this need remains unfulfilled in most of us?

Listening involves a lot more than just our two ears. Ears only ‘hear’. Hearing is influenced by our conditioning, our opinions, and our belief systems, hence, most of the times we hear what we wish to hear. The words spoken by another pass through many layers of filters before reaching our mind which takes cognizance of them, and like the game of ‘Chinese Whispers’, what the mind finally deciphers is very different from what the speaker had meant to convey. This gap in the spoken and heard words leads to misunderstandings, disharmony and conflicts in our lives.

So how is listening different from hearing? Listening is an ‘inner’ process. It moves beyond hearing. It knows no words. We cannot listen to others unless we learn to listen to ourselves. Our inner self is constantly communicating with us through our feelings, thoughts and emotions. This communication is known as in-tuition, which means instruction from within.

Since we are not taught to listen to this inner voice it keeps interrupting us whenever we want to listen to the external sounds. This inner voice carries our inner compulsions, deepest fears, desires and needs. When we don’t pay heed to these, we remain restless and unhappy with ourselves and hence with others, especially the ones closest to us. We become emotionally challenged (low E.Q) and start playing petty games with each other. We start longing for others to listen to us. We start looking for praise and applause. We start harboring envy and malice.
To be able to truly listen we need to train ourselves to go beyond hearing. We need to involve our heart along with our ears. When we learn to listen to our own deepest truths, we can listen to those of others as well. Listening helps us discover ourselves and others.

Listening begins with deep contemplation. In order to truly listen we need to drop our masks and disguises. We need to free ourselves of our self-imposed inhibitions. The more we listen to our inner instructions the more aware we become of the outside world.

So wake up and listen, you will find someone who understands you; someone who is ready to guide you and show you the way towards fulfillment in life!!! Just Listen……………

Competent Managers

2010-09-01T09:10:00.000+05:30

How do we distinguish competent managers from incompetent ones? Here are some traits that all competent managers share and which make them more interesting, more respected and more admired:

• Good communication skills: All competent managers convey the organizational needs in a clear and concise manner. They do not indulge in nasty, negative miscommunication. People who are careless in their communication have difficulty being competent!

• Strong leadership capabilities: Competent managers earn respect by demonstrating positive leadership. They not only take charge of their departments but also of their personal lives effectively.

• Good relationships: Competent managers solicit co-operation from their superiors, peers and subordinates by regularly interacting with them. They believe in dealing with people as though they will deal with them for the rest of their lives; building long-term relationships. Such treatment of people makes the work flow harmoniously. All that they do is express politeness, consideration, and gratitude; the rest gets taken care of.

• Hard work: Competent managers lead from the front. They inspire others by personal examples. They work hard so that others may work hard as well. They elicit admiration by putting in maximum work. They always do their best and honor others who do the same.

• Effectiveness: Competent managers do not ask others to do what they themselves would not do in the first place. They make others follow them by making the work environment as comfortable as possible. They make an impact upon others with their care.

• Others first: Competent managers understand that if one wishes to learn anything rather well, he has to teach that to others; so they commit themselves to developing winning teams. As they help develop others by teaching them, they themselves keep getting better.

• Self-development: Competent managers develop and improve themselves constantly. They take good care of their body, mind and emotions.

• Willingness to change: Competent managers are ever willing to change, adapt and grow with the times. By being willing to change they expand in knowledge, wisdom, joy and awareness.

• Integrity: Competent managers understand that maintaining integrity is the most important step. They believe in themselves, take a position and stand by it. They take a stand even when they know that they can’t please everyone and may even alienate some in the process. Competent managers always have a point of view. They stand up for what they believe in; stand down from a position of compromise and stand back from something that doesn’t feel right.

Are you a competent manager? Test yourself on above parameters.

Being Good Enough

2010-08-31T16:56:00.002+05:30

If there is one thing common amongst all of us, it is our lack of satisfaction with what/who we are. The sentence, ‘I am not good enough’ hangs about in our subconscious like a prison sentence, waiting to be invoked at a short notice. Yes, this sentence, keeps us imprisoned in under-confidence. Whether we look confident or not, whether we feel confident or not, whether we are proficient in our work or not, whether we look gorgeous or not; none of this matters as at some point or the other in our daily lives we feel ‘less than enough.’ This applies across board to all human beings, only the degree/sphere of under-confidence varies.

Why is it the way it is? The primary reason is that most of us don’t really believe in our inherent strengths. There is always a ‘yes, but…..’ about our abilities. We invariably fail to discover our genius and recognize our gifts. More often than not we fail to take a ride into the unknown possibilities our life offers. So, how can we correct all that? We can do it by taking charge of ourselves. We can do it by loving ourselves for who we are. We can do it by becoming our own leaders and believing in our capacity to grow. One doesn’t have to be ‘born’ a leader to lead oneself. You can become your own leader by just choosing to do so. After all leadership is a learnable skill!

To be your own leader, you must be able to envisage your own bright future. You can do this by reminding yourself that there is something in you which is better than what you are displaying right now. The more vividly you can ‘see’ your bright future, more excited you will become about your abilities. Your excitement will attract your great picture towards you. This excitement will boost your productivity, change your behavior and greatly motivate you. Excitement almost always works in making one feel good about oneself!

Once you have tuned into the picture of this bright future, keep re-enforcing it from time to time. Visualize this picture every night for at least 15 minutes. Get really excited every time you do that; let your heart race and let your pulse pound! The more vividly you can visualize your dreams, more real they will become and more fulfilled you will feel. A person who can’t get genuinely excited about him/herself cannot be satisfied with what s/he is and can’t achieve anything worthwhile.

Another sure shot way to feel good about yourself is by taking care of your needs; both physical and emotional. Start each day with gratitude for who you are and what you are capable of doing. Learning new things also makes one grow and feel more alive; so learn something new every day. Also take out time to engage in activities that you enjoy. Moments of joy increase our confidence levels. When we are in a happy frame of mind, we feel more positive about ourselves and the world around us.

Embrace your imperfections. No one is perfect in all areas of their lives at all times. Each one of us is unique and our uniqueness is our strength. Remember to make yourself the number one person in your life, because if you don’t feel like number one to yourself, you won’t give your best to anyone or anything. Tell yourself, “I am worth it”, and feel worthy of being you! Never forget that you are more than good enough………for you and your loved ones!

Time to Blossom

2010-08-29T15:47:00.000+05:30

Have you ever done any gardening? If you have, you know that each flower is different and unique. It has its own time for sowing; its requirements of water, manure, sunlight are different and it flowers at its own time as well. A gardener doesn’t ever try to make a flower bloom before its time, and even if s/he tried, the flower won’t oblige. Even amongst one particular species, there are some flowers that bloom early, most bloom together but some are the last ones to blossom. The ones that bloom early wither early as well. We can comment on their blooming schedule but can’t really do anything about it.

The same truism applies to us humans as well. The only difference is the sword of expectations hanging over our heads. Everyone expects something from us; be it our parents, teachers, siblings, colleagues, spouses, society, city, or nation. We ourselves expect a lot from us; so unlike the flowers we remain under stress to perform or else!!! No one knows the answer to ‘or else’ but everyone is fearful of this fear of the unknown.

In this melee of expectations we lose our self identity. We stop listening to our inner voice. Julie Cameron, an American filmmaker, says, “The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled by the voices of other people’s expectations.” She is absolutely right.

Most of us unconsciously believe that we are unworthy or defective pieces of creation. This belief gets formed very early in our lives, when our parents or teachers disapproved of our behavior, demands, desires and wishes. It was then that we decided to be good; but ‘to be good’ is equated with following the practiced norms in our society. In order to become good we lose our uniqueness. We start behaving and acting exactly as the significant people in our life demand; because we look up to them, because we want them to love us.

Examine your current beliefs now. Have they helped you become what you wanted to become? If not then it is time to drop those beliefs. It is time to let go of our masks and express our uniqueness. In doing so we may behave differently than people expect from us, but we will be expressing our deep authentic nature.

For all this time, you have protected the seed inside you. Now it is time to plant it, water it, nourish it, and let it flower. Flowering is not in your hands though…..Even the Master Gardener knows it….and He waits patiently for you to blossom in your complete glory!!!!

Who Am I?

2010-08-28T15:28:00.000+05:30

Most of us want to know the purpose of our lives. We want to know what we must do to achieve success. In my experience, there is only one question that we should be asking in order to achieve our highest potential, and that question is ‘who am I?’
Yes, this is the most important question in life. At various stages of our life this question will elicit a different answer but that will be our truth at that time. And we cannot succeed at anything unless we follow our truth.

The truth is that we are unique being. Without us there would be something crucial missing from the Universe. Without us the world would not be the same. You may feel as insignificant as a drop in the ocean but the truth is that you have the power of the ocean inside you.

Most people believe that we are in this world to ‘do’ something, because we are repeatedly told by our environment that we need to ‘do’ better and better in our studies and in our jobs otherwise we will lose out to others. This kind of environment creates fear inside us. This fear makes us ask these questions, “What am I to do? What is my purpose in life?” This fear propagates all our ills. We feel small, insignificant, of no consequence and worst of all, a failure! If we keep focusing on ‘doing’ we miss the entire point of existence which is ‘being’; being comes naturally to everyone, if only we pay enough attention and ask the right question, ‘who am I?’.

A mango tree doesn’t try to do anything to produce mangoes. The grass doesn’t try to grow. Fish don’t try to swim. They do these things as a part of their being; it is their natural expression. Since we are unique ‘beings’ (also human ‘beings’) we too carry a unique natural expression. Given time and suitable conditions this natural expression flowers and comes to fruition, automatically. When we are being true to ourselves, success is bound to follow us. That is the law of nature.

Suppose the mango tree was not being true to itself. Suppose it wanted to produce oranges. Do you think it would succeed? It may spend its entire lifetime but it will gain nothing except frustration. Much to its chagrin it will still produce mangoes only. On the other hand, as is the natural law, a regular mango tree lives in a state of peace, energy, joy and inspiration, being what it is, and happily producing mangoes. Can we be like a regular mango tree? Sure we can!

In order to know who we are, we need to align with our truth. A part of this truth has been programmed within our being in the guise of our likes and desires. When we free the being from doing, the doing flows from a place of true power within; the power of the ocean. But unfortunately we are like that mango tree who is at war with itself, trying hard to produce oranges. It is high time we ended this war and found peace within; the peace of who we are!

Here is a small contemplation exercise that will help you find your true self:

• Sit in a comfortable position.
• Close your eyes and become aware of your body.
• Think about who you have been since you were born.
• Open up to the idea of your natural self inside you.
• Ask for inner guidance.
• Think about who you are when you are naturally at peace with yourself.
• What role would you like to play in this world?
• What types of activities bring you joy and fulfillment?
• If money and time were of no consequence, what would you rather be doing?
• After 10 minutes open your eyes and write down all your insights.

These insights will help you find the answer to the all important question, “Who am I?” This answer will help you achieve your highest potential in life. Only then can you be truly joyful, fulfilled and successful!!!

Know what you want from life

2010-08-27T08:58:00.001+05:30

A lot of people have been writing to me saying, ‘I don’t know what I want from life. Can you help me?’ so I decided to address this issue to a larger audience through this write up.

How can we know what we want from life? If you are asking this question it implies that you do not know yourself. No human being has ever walked the face of the earth, without ‘wanting’ something from life. In order to identify what ‘you’ want, you need to ask yourself some more questions:

What am I passionate about? This is a very important question as passion drives most people towards what they want. There may be more than one thing that you feel passionate about. Write them all down.

What am I good at? The answer to this question will lead you towards your focus.

What sparks my creativity? Each person has some creative spark. What is yours?

Do I trust myself? When you believe in yourself and your dreams you can achieve anything that you set your heart upon.

Do I deserve it? This question is related to your self-worth. Most of the times we feel that we don’t deserve what we are asking for.

What is my inspiration? Every person has at least one role model; someone who inspires them. What inspires you? When you sit down to study or go out to work, what motivates you to do so?

What do I regret not having, doing or being? When you think about your life what is it that sticks out like a sore thumb? What are your ‘what ifs......’?

What is stopping me from being myself? People perceive all kinds of difficulties or justifications for not doing something. What is your justification?

What do I fear? Our fears stop us from moving forward. Which fears are keeping you chained?

Life is a precious gift given to all of us. It is our sacred duty to honour it and not waste it on what could have been. We must grab all the opportunities that come our way; but until we know what it is that we want from life we can’t do that. It is very easy to justify our stagnant ways. It is very easy to get carried away by emotions or curse our fate. Passion and purpose must go hand in hand if we are to achieve what we truly desire from life.

Only when we know what we want from life can we lead happy, inspired, and purposeful lives.......

Enjoy Yourself

2010-08-26T14:52:00.000+05:30

A cousin of mine tells me an interesting story. He says that when he was a school kid, his parents told him, ‘Work hard now; when you get admission in a good college, you will enjoy yourself.’ In due course he joined a good college. Now he was told, ‘Work hard now; when you get into a good management school, you can enjoy yourself.’ Well, he got admitted into a reputed management school. This time the refrain was, ‘Work hard now; when you get a good job, you can enjoy yourself.’ He got a wonderful placement. As a young manager he was again told, ‘Work hard now; in the corporate world it is either up or out. As you move up, you will enjoy yourself.’ Currently, he is a senior V.P. with a multinational company but he hasn’t found the elusive enjoyment until now. His advice to all the youngsters is, ‘Work hard and play hard. Enjoy yourself at each step. The time once gone doesn’t come back. Work and enjoyment must walk hand in hand.’ I completely agree with him.
The fact remains that 99% of people in our world are either stuck in a job that they hate because it is giving them enough money to get by; or they are just about satisfied with their job without being completely fulfilled. Those who enjoy what they do can’t seem to make their work pay enough money to enjoy their lives. So they all remain frustrated. Where is the time to enjoy???

Most of us always remember our mother’s cooking. Why is it so? A mother always cooks with love, especially when she is cooking for her children. For her it is not just a meal, it is an offering of love and care. She enjoys cooking and feeding her children. The hand that stirs the pot makes a great difference to what is being stirred!! Similarly, when we do, whatever it is that we are supposed to be doing, with love and attention, it shows in the result. So, what stops us from doing our jobs/studies with love and attention? The biggest culprit is our mindset. How can we change this mindset?

We can change our mindset from that of ‘Chalta Hai’ to that of ‘Concentrating on one thing at a time with punctuality, order, diligence and determination’. This one thing at a time can be either work or play. Work and play are two wheels of a cart which must move in unison if we do not wish to upset the cart. This cart signifies our life and no one can tell us what to do with our lives as the right answers are right within our hearts.

You may have big dreams or small dreams; just focus on the fun of achieving them and you are halfway there!!!! Enjoy the journey……one step at a time.

Cultivating the Power of Choice

2010-08-21T22:27:00.001+05:30

At any given moment we are faced with two (or more than two) choices. Each choice has a consequence, whether we realize it in that moment or not. At times we end up making right choices, but there are times when we do falter. These moments are known as ‘Choice Points’, and the consequences are ‘Choice Point Events’. These choice point events are presented to us between now (the choice point) and anytime in future; but when these events do happen (come into our experience) we either blame or credit others. If there is no one to give credit to or blame, we label it as good luck or bad luck. In reality, luck is nothing but a consequence of our choices or a choice point event! If you think about it, all we really have in our life is our power to choose and all we really get are the consequences of those choices.

Making good choices is a quality we all need to cultivate in order to attract good luck. Our choices usually tell us (and the environment) what is and what is not to our liking. As we have no choice but to choose something in every moment, we end up learning from our choices. We repeat those choices which have led us to success so far and avoid those ones which have led to failure; but one undeniable truth is that choices are the ultimate expression of our free will!

How to choose remains an art to be learnt!! We must learn how to choose until we ‘get it right’. It helps us to remember 3 D’s of Discernment, Detachment and Discipline, before we make any choices.

Choices must be made with discernment because each choice has a consequence; and discernment can only be gained through our experience with choices; our successes and failures, the tragedies and triumphs of our lives, the mistakes and miracles that we encounter. The important step in making better choices is to learn from our successes and failures and do better the next time. If we can improve each time, step by step our choices become better and our lives improve.

Choices must be made with detachment. Detachment is the art of letting the will of God become our will. Complete acceptance of and surrender to His will takes a lot of faith and true faith can never let us down.

Choices must accompany discipline. Success in any area is directly linked to our discipline in pursuing it. We can’t have a successful venture without the discipline of training, policies and procedures. Discipline is bound to be the foundation of anything that we wish to achieve in this world. With detachment and discipline, we learn discernment and employ the power of our choices to good use.

Making choices based on compassion, and as empowered creators rather than from the mindset of angry, vengeful victims is important too. Only then can we truly fulfill our highest potential, not to mention, our Divine destiny!!!

Believe You Can

2010-08-20T14:00:00.000+05:30

You must have heard the story of a deaf frog that climbed out of a well because he couldn’t hear others telling him that it can’t be done. The other day someone told me a story about a young boy who fell asleep in his math class. He woke up as the bell rang and saw two problems written on the Blackboard. Assuming that it was the homework for the day he noted them down and labored over them through the night. After great difficulty he managed to solve one of the two problems. The next day as he showed his homework to the teacher, she was absolutely stunned as the problem the boy solved was supposed to be unsolvable.

So, how could the boy solve an unsolvable problem? Simple!! He didn’t know that it was unsolvable!!! He thought that if he didn’t solve at least one of the two problems he will be punished. If he had known that the problem couldn’t be solved, he wouldn’t have solved it. Similarly when we tell ourselves (or others tell us) that this can’t be done….that is impossible…..you can’t do it….. it’s not your cup of tea….etc etc, we start believing these as our truth; and our beliefs make them our truth. It is a vicious cycle. It is up to us whether we choose empowering beliefs or limiting beliefs. Our choices determine our destiny!!

Our beliefs act as the compass and map to guide us in attaining our goals. If we believe we can, we can; if we believe we can’t, we can’t. It is as simple as that. Our beliefs are the inner source of our outer behavior. If we make a conscious effort to change our beliefs, our lives can change. But that can happen only when we take full responsibility for our beliefs. When we realize that our success is not dependent upon anyone or anything outside of our beliefs we start paying more attention to them.

Awareness of our inherent beliefs is not a onetime thing; it is a full time commitment to remain alert to the inner dialogue going on within us. It is a 24x7 awareness of our state of mind. It is a constant monitoring of our thoughts. Only then can we change our limiting beliefs into empowering statements.

Our beliefs are a form of energy and whatever we choose to give energy to becomes stronger with time. Limiting beliefs require as much energy as empowering beliefs do; but in our current societal environment everyone places more focus on what can’t be done, what is impossible, what is wrong with us, etc. We feel that by constantly reminding a person of his shortcomings we can help him improve himself. But that is not how it works. A constant reminder of one’s weaknesses only strengthens our beliefs about what is not right with us. With time it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is time now to change this system and make our beliefs work for us, instead of working against us.

Problems and challenging situations are just the right times to attempt to remain aware of our beliefs and change them. These are the times to disengage from any self-defeating thought patterns. Remember, no one can help you without your full co-operation!!!! Your empowerment lies in your own beliefs!!!

Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life

2010-08-19T21:16:00.002+05:30

Your thoughts determine the quality of your life. You must have heard this phrase many times. (I myself have told this time and again in my columns.) But do you actually ‘believe’ in this statement? Have you tried to experiment with it in your own life? You see, unless you believe in this truth, you won’t make any effort to re-wire your thinking process. What are you afraid of? Why don’t you give it a try? What can you lose? Nothing! In fact you stand to gain a lot by researching and re-formatting your thought patterns.

The first thing to do is to break your habitual thinking patterns. Most of our thoughts get repeated day after day after day, becoming our constant reality. Suppose you were to think differently from now on, don’t you think that your so-called reality will get affected as well? Treat this challenge as an assignment and stay ready to be surprised by the results.

When you change your routine thinking patterns, you actually ‘think’ about your day-to-day decisions, instead of just habitually choosing a default mode without any consideration. When you become aware of your thoughts your choices always reflect your best interest. Most of us stay in a ‘box’ all our lives. This box is a result of our programming and conditioning. In our childhood our parents, and teachers help program this; in adulthood we continue to maintain it. Once we understand that we are the author and creator of our life, we are led to ask deeper questions, such as, “How do I create something else instead?” and “What should this ‘something else’ be?” Thinking outside your box can change your life story.

In our chosen life experience, we face many challenges. Most of the times a measure of fear governs our perceptions while dealing with these challenges. If we could stop these fear thoughts in our head for just one moment, we would discover that there is no reason to be frightened or fearful. Even when things look bleak we can look ahead with courage and hope. This looking ahead with courage and hope is a kind of ‘attention’ that can be called a ‘prayer’ or ‘meditation’. This connection with your ‘inner self’ is vital for your growth and learning. As you connect with the stillness between thoughts, you feel refreshed and re-charged. Your fears lessen and you begin to see the ‘big picture’. That is the time to rejoice.

Watch this fantasy become your reality. You are a unique person. It is time to realize your true potential. Accept that the power of your thoughts can create your new reality. Accept that your future lies in your own hands. Intentionally direct your thoughts in such a way that you create the best experiences for yourself. Concentrate your thoughts on all that you ‘want’ and not on what you ‘don’t want’. Don’t say, “What is wrong with today? What problems do I face? What is to become of me?” Change the lyrics of your song to, “What is right with today? What opportunities are knocking at my door? What am I grateful for?”

Thoughts can be reversed like a reversible jacket. You need to remember to wear the other side of this reversible jacket. That side is more becoming of you. Talk yourself into reversing your thoughts and notice what happens to your day. Soon your ordinary, regular life will become extra-ordinary and custom-made!

The fear of failure is the most important thought that we must change. Failure happens. It is a part of life. In order to move ahead, we need to remove the stigma we have placed on failure. We must understand that failure isn’t an end. Failure simply means, ‘go back and try again.’ It is not the dead-end to a path. We can always turn around and retrace our steps. But we can do that only if we change our thoughts.

As long as we keep turning to the external world for validating our worth and for guiding us in choosing the direction of our life, we will remain stuck in our old patterns. We need to tune into our internal world and ask how we should act or react, what we should value, and what we should do with our lives; especially when we come to a fork in the road of our life’s journey and can not see any street signs.

Usually we choose the path dictated by our external world. Sometimes this path leads us to our destination but more often than not, after a few days, weeks, months, or years we notice an uneasy feeling in our body. Something about our path doesn’t seem right. At times like these do you back up and retrace your steps? Do you return to that fork in the road and choose differently? If it is a small choice, such as choosing a wardrobe or a diet plan, it is easy to retrace our steps, but if it is a major life choice such as a course of study, a job, or marriage, retracing the steps becomes slightly more difficult.

We can make wise choices only when we ‘think’ wisely. We need to get rid of the fear of choosing wrongly. Blame and self-shame are two ‘thought records’ which continuously play in our mind and sabotage our lives. We either keep blaming others around us for our choices or keep shaming ourselves for choosing a path that is not productive. We keep walking the wrong path, trying to make it work for us, blaming and self-shaming as we go, rather than reversing our direction by making a different choice.

We forget that we create our own reality. We forget that our thoughts create our experiences. We forget that we need to do some inner re-choosing for our outer world to change.

There are no perfect answers to all our problems. But if we are clear that we do not wish to complicate our lives, we need to simplify our thought process. We need to cut down on mindless activities and meaningless interactions. We need to listen to our heart’s guidance and desires. We need to cut down the superficial and embrace what is real.

It is not very easy to do though. In this process you will find your old beliefs, thought patterns and fears rise up every now and then, attempting to keep you mired in mediocrity. That is the time to examine your thought process and embrace empowering beliefs wholeheartedly. Let the trust in yourself become the guiding force in your life. However hard it may be to disentangle yourself from the grip of your fears, you can do it. All you need is a sincere intent and a willingness to create a new life for yourself.

You can have anything you want in this world, just harness the power of your thoughts and EXPECT success!!

Tune into Success

2010-08-04T21:12:00.000+05:30

Would you like to be more successful than you are right now? Would you like to be free from the stress of performance forever? We become receptive to success when we embrace a state of relaxation. The more we relax and surrender through our stress, the more our energy field expands and opens up. This expanded energy field attracts more success into our life.

When we relax, fears disappear and grace appears. The energy of relaxation carries a high vibration which instantly shifts us into a receptive state. In this state we allow the universe to accede to our request for success. On the other hand, we automatically repel all the good which is knocking at our door when we are under stress. The energy of stress blocks any success that we otherwise may attract. Hence our power lies in our ability to relax!! Claim this power by going infinitely deeper into relaxation and allow the burden of performance to be lifted from your life forever. Remember, as we change the inner attitude of our mind, the outer aspects of our lives change automatically.

The best part is that anyone can learn to relax. It is not a difficult process. In fact it is our natural state. No wonder it feels so good when we relax! In order to experience relaxation all we need to do is tap into that part of ourselves which is always relaxed. Have you ever consciously connected with this part? This connection is very easy too; we simply have to decide to let ourselves relax!!That is all. So just breathe, let go, and remind yourself that this moment is all that you have for now. Make a schedule for relaxation. Claim your space. Affirm to yourself, ‘The more I relax, the more success I attract.”

Here are three basic techniques to help you relax:-

• Whenever you notice yourself worrying about success in any field, just stop whatever it is that you are doing and pay attention to your breath. Start deep breathing. Breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. The very act of breathing anchors you into your body. Take a moment right now and take 3 deep breaths. With each in-breath, breathe in relaxation, and with each out-breath, release any stress or tension you may have. Do you notice a feeling of deep peace in your body? Breathe deeper and breathe out all the thoughts and emotions that you're stressed about. Breathe until you can feel the peace. Let this glorious energy of peace seep into you. You deserve this and much more!! This peace will center you, and automatically re-open your energy field to receive the abundance of success that is waiting for you.

• Another powerful way to open up your energy field lies in your ability to express gratitude for all the success that you have experienced so far. Energy of gratitude can be very very relaxing. Gratefulness instantly shifts the energy in every cell of our body. As we flood our body-mind with gratitude, we begin to feel complete and whole at a deeper level. When we are grateful we realize that there is a lot to be grateful for in our lives. We stop feeling like a failure. When we do not express gratitude, we stay in a state of lack. This state creates stress in our body-mind. Connecting with deep feelings of gratitude makes us feel that everything is already perfect exactly as it is. We realize that manifesting more success is not the most important thing in our life. This concept releases us from the burden of expectations, and on one level instantly makes us feel free! So every time you begin to strive for more success in your life, just stop for a moment... and be grateful for what you already have. You'll see how effortlessly you will attract more success if you are being grateful for it.

• The third technique is to visualize being successful. The process of visualization (which is also known as day-dreaming) supports our entire body-mind in relaxing. It creates a blue-print for success in our subconscious mind. When we create a mental movie of what our success story looks and feels like, our subconscious believes that this mental movie is our current reality; as the subconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and imagination. Imagine biting into a fresh lime; do you feel the sourness on your tongue? Visualization makes your mind believe and know that you are already successful right now; your whole body relaxes in its wake and simultaneously starts magnetizing what you want in your life. The key to a highly effective visualization lies in connecting strong feelings to the pictures that you create in your mind. Take a moment right now and see yourself manifesting what you desire. Feel the strong positive feelings this imagery creates. Yes, success is not something to acquire, it is something to tune into!!!

So relax and instantly create a successful state of mind easily and effortlessly. You will shape-shift your reality in less than 30 days! Simply relax and allow yourself to feel, know and attract an abundant successful life!!!

Focus upon Memories of Success

2010-07-09T17:02:00.002+05:30

There is one golden universal rule that we all must pay heed to. This rule says that whatever we pay attention to grows in our lives. Going by this rule, if we were to pay attention to the past memories of success, we will invite more successes in our lives. The best part is that these successes need not be big events. Simple successes like deciding to drink a glass of milk and drinking it to the last drop, will do; as long as there is a sense of achievement in it (and not the feeling of getting over with another chore).

When you go down the corridors of past, what memories lie uppermost in your mind? If you are like most people, you may be haunted by memories of failure, betrayal, and not being good enough. If that is the case, you may understand now, why you invite more of the same in your life!!! If you were to hold and stay in memories of success, joy, bliss and happiness, you would invite more of these in your life!!

Memories of failure drain our energy and lead us to self-recrimination; while memories of success make us thrive. Examine yourself. Do you live in your memories or do you believe that the past is over and done with? If you do go back in time in your brain, where do you go? Do you remember all the horror movies that you have starred in?? Do you recall those times when you didn’t believe in yourself? Do you reflect upon those times when you said and did things which didn’t bring you much credit? If you do, you are like most of us.

But is there a different way of looking back at our lives? Can this looking back empower us? How about entertaining only those memories which remind you of your successes? What about remembering only those times when you received love and appreciation? What was the best time of your life? May be it was time spent with your family at home! May be it was your thumping report card in Class One! Perhaps it was the time you felt close to someone!! Perhaps it was some eureka moment when you connected with your inner self!! How about re-living these memories?

When we re-experience the moments of love, appreciation, joy, enthusiasm and determination, we feel light. In fact, that is when we turn on the light within us. We do this by deleting all those memories from our cells which take away our loving energy. We do this by switching over the channel: from the channel of failure to channel of success. We do this by remembering all those times when we were joyful, peaceful and successful; when we gave joy, received joy and witnessed joy. As we do this we raise our vibrations and begin to feel really good about ourselves.

The moment you allow your mind to drift into the past, let it be a good journey. The moment you allow your mind to project into the future let it be a loving future. And when you stay in the present, reap the benefit of these wonderful memories.

So what do you hold in your mind? Jot it down and find your focus……..

Be Good to Yourself

2010-07-05T20:13:00.002+05:30

How can you be ‘good’ to yourself? This question can be answered in just two words: No coddling! Yes, please do not coddle yourself. It doesn’t take you anywhere. On the other hand, it pays to be a little hard-hearted with your own self.

In order to elaborate my point further I have added some more words to these two words. Please apply these insights in your life if they resonate with you.

• Do not stand for any nonsense from anyone, including yourself.
• Do not accept any excuses from anyone, especially yourself.
• Move on in life without any regrets.
• Free your heart from any guilt that you may be carrying.
• Do not berate yourself for something you did or didn’t do.
• Do not spend time trying to undo your every action or inaction.
• Do not waste time wishing you had done this or that.
• Be responsible for all your actions and their consequences.
• Do not play the blame game with yourself.
• Be aware of every opportunity that comes your way and use it.
• Do not keep re-visiting the past. Live in the now.
• Get on with your life.
• Don’t hold yourself back.
• Be forward moving and stop looking back.
• If you need to apologize to someone, do it now.
• Give yourself credit for all that is working in your life.
• Be grateful for everything that you have.

Tips to attract success

2010-06-25T15:12:00.000+05:30

"High values offer broad vision. Broad vision gives rise to burning desire. Burning desire leads to focused intent. Focused intent stimulates committed action. Then God arranges the details!" --Wallace Huey
Sometimes success seems like an illusion and manifesting it looks like a herculean task. At times the process of manifesting our dreams confuses us, but everything becomes crystal clear once we adopt the right mindset. Here are some quick tips to help you cultivate the right mindset and become successful with ease.
• Trust: We have been brainwashed into thinking that success comes at a price. Our society makes us believe that succeeding in any endeavor is a daunting task. However, when we start placing our trust in our abilities we start noticing a clear progression of small, imperceptible changes that invariably lead us in the direction that we want to take. Trusting ourselves makes us trust in the Grand Overall Design (G.O.D.).
• Choose: Choosing positive thoughts can trigger a landslide of small and big successes. So it is better to choose thoughts of success and abundance rather than those of failure and lack. Choose to believe that success is already yours. Expect more successes to show up. Feel more successful than you actually are at this moment. And then take inspired actions to bring more success into your life.
• Prepare: Most of us believe that success is determined by fate. We tend to forget that waiting for success to happen doesn’t always bring in the desired result. Preparing for success makes one attract opportunities to succeed.
• Believe: Believe that you deserve to be successful. Make room in your lives for better circumstances than you currently have.
• Align: Align yourself on all levels with success. Clear your physical as well as mental environment of negativity.
• Invest: Invest a lot of time and energy in your goals. This investment will prevent you from giving up too easily.
• Question: Ask yourself, “Have I done all that I could do up to this point in time? Can I become more focused or committed to my goals? Do I need to take my efforts to the next level?” Answer truthfully and take necessary action.
• Multiply: Take stock of all that you have done up to this moment. Now multiply your efforts by ten. This will ensure that you don’t quit too easily.
• Don’t worry: Don’t think what others think about you. In past you may have been ridiculed, scolded, or rejected for something that you did or didn’t do. Remember that other people see you as a reflection of how you see yourself. When you are confident of your own success, others too will tend to think like that. What really matters is how you feel about yourself. So feel confident and EXPECT success!!!!

Embrace your Imperfections

2010-04-05T21:22:00.002+05:30

Most of us want to be ‘perfect’ in whatever we do. We lament the state of the world and feel bad about its imperfections. It is true that we do not live in a perfect world, but don’t you think it would be boring if all of us (including the world that we live in) were perfect!! Won’t we all look like robots, imitating one another? What about the merits of being an ‘individual’ as opposed to a perfect clone? The wonderful part of our world is our individuality, our uniqueness. Each of us has our own style, and personality. Our thoughts, desires, wants, dreams, aversions, likes, dislikes, successes, failures etc make us who we are. If we were all to become perfect, won’t we lose our own style which makes us special in the first place?

Oh, you don’t think your style is special, do you? Don’t you think that your personality, your core self, deep down to who you are as a soul is important? The problem is that when we look into a mirror, we tend to see our imperfections. We spot what we feel is less than perfect. The moment we do that we send out a signal to the world around us that we are not ‘good enough’ and in the process we lose our self-confidence. We forget that our imperfections represent our life experiences. We forget to see the gift in our circumstances. This failure affects our self-esteem like nothing else does.

Suppose instead of focussing on the negatives you were to see your uniqueness? Suppose you were to be proud of your imperfections; because they may seem far from ideal but they teach you the perfect lessons in your life?

Actress Lucile Ball said, “I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” This is another way of saying, ‘take care of yourself first, because then you will be able to give your best to yourself and to others.’ How many of us follow this golden rule?

Here are some tips to take care of yourself and your self-esteem:-

• Live with energy, enthusiasm and empathy
• Play more games
• Read more books
• Sit in silence for 15 minutes everyday
• Pray more often
• Exercise more often
• Smile more often
• Don’t overeat
• Don’t compare your life with others’ lives
• Don’t harbour negative thoughts
• Don’t take yourself seriously
• Don’t gossip
• Daydream
• Forget the past
• Agree to disagree
• Be good and do good
• Forgive yourself and others
• Spend time with children and old people
• Be grateful for all that you have

And last but not the least; embrace your imperfections

Imperfect or I’mPerfect........................ change your focus to change your reality!!

Self-Motivation

2010-02-23T13:07:00.001+05:30

Self-motivation is the only motivation that truly works. Here are some ways to motivate yourself to achieve your optimum potential.

1. Be optimistic:- If negativity and fear are knocking you off balance, it is time to re-group and re-focus your energies. A winning mindset thrives in a positive environment. It is time to uplift, encourage, and inspire yourself. When others talk about challenges, you must talk about opportunities. When others talk about why they can’t succeed, you must give them every reason why they can. Doing this will re-enforce your own belief in yourself. Most often the difference between success and failure is only that of beliefs. Change your self-negating beliefs and be optimistic about life.

2. Be humble and hungry:- Be humble in what you seek to learn in order to grow and improve every day. Don’t let your ego come in the way. At the same time be hungry with a passion to work harder than you have ever done before. It is not the time to be laid back; now is the time to put in your best effort.

3. Welcome uncertainty:- In these uncertain times, you can’t be sure about anything. Don’t let this fact discourage you. Instead think of the best outcome for yourself; come what may! Don’t worry about the state of economy and resultant job opportunities; just follow your passion with a firm determination to succeed. Faith and belief in a positive future will make you take timely positive actions.

4. Cultivate a positive vision:- Develop a positive vision for the road ahead. Don’t let disappointments bother you. Be clear about where you have been, where you are headed and why you are headed there. Vision gives you something meaningful and valuable to strive towards. Your dream has the power to change the world for you. Always think that your best days are ahead of you, and carry on with a missionary zeal.

5. Be a hero not a victim:- Both heroes and victims face life’s challenges; both get knocked down from time to time; the difference is that heroes carry on striving while victims give up easily. Heroes learn from their mistakes while victims blame the entire world for their down fall. You have a significant control over the things in your life; do not blame your circumstances for all your ills. Learn to take responsibility of your successes and failures. Remember, your life is a story, and the story you tell yourself and the role you play in it determines the quality and direction of your life. You can overcome any adversity by telling yourself a positive story. Make your life an inspirational tale, instead of a melodramatic drama or a horror film. Instead of becoming a victim, become a hero.

Try, try....Again

2010-02-18T18:47:00.000+05:30

How many times do we get disheartened by our failures? How many times do we give up in the face of failure? The words of Leo Buscaglia, a professor and motivational speaker (also known as Dr. Love) ring true in my heart. He said, “To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, live and love.” Leo is asking us to dare to risk, and for that we need to try and try again, until we taste success.

Trying is an essential step to self empowerment. Trying again after failing helps us break out of structured thinking and behaviour. It helps us break through our comfort zone and barriers. Continuous endeavour helps us experience new levels of mind and feeling. Eventually we end up experiencing more of life.

A person who keeps trying again and again, even while making mistakes, leads a more honourable life than one who never ever tries to do anything. Only those people who keep trying know how far they can go. Each new trial helps us build a new relationship with our life. It helps us experience life from different perspectives. Each renewed effort helps us discover how to ‘do’ life rather than allow life to do us.

How does one become tenacious? Suppose if I don’t know what it is that I want from life, the best step I can take is to get involved with just about anything which comes my way. I would just start with first available opportunity. Soon I would know if this choice is right for me or not. If it feels right, I would go ahead with it; but if it doesn’t feel right I must have the guts to try something else. By beginning to do something I will eventually begin to gravitate towards what I really want by tweaking my interests and experiences. Finally I will line up with who I am and what I am here to do. Things will eventually fall into place. This is the power of trying until you get it right.

Do you know what invokes your passion and lights you up? If you don’t you can try doing different things and find the one which is your true calling. Most of us get trapped in the feeling of ‘wasting’ time while trying out new things; but the fact remains that no time is ever wasted, no experience is ever in vain, and no life is ever useless. Each step logically leads us to the next step; as long as we keep lifting each foot to stay in momentum. As we confidently take one step after the next, the floodgates of universal support open up for us. Following our heart and our passion puts us in alignment with our life’s purpose. However long it may take, however many failures it may encompass; we will eventually get there.

Most of you must have travelled by air. When the aeroplane moves through a layer of clouds, all you can see is just white fuzz. Your perception becomes totally limited and you can’t see the larger picture. The moment the plane comes out of the cloud range, everything becomes clearer. Suddenly a new perspective comes into your view. Sometimes the plane moves into yet another fuzzy area, and you again feel completely lost, but soon you see the same clouds floating at a lower altitude. Similarly life moves through several different layers of clouds offering us several different points from which to see our life and the events around it.

This is happening with all of us. We are moving through different levels of reality and our aeroplane is steadily climbing up. At every point when we reach a new level of doubts, it helps to look at life from a higher perspective and just carry on.
So, enjoy this ride and if you fall, simply get up, loosen up and try once again. Try, try again............until you get it right!!

HT Horizons 17/02/10

Know what you want

2010-02-18T18:39:00.000+05:30

Two of the most important questions that I have learnt in my life are ‘What do I want?’ and ‘How will I know when I have got it?’ These two questions have changed my entire outlook towards my life. Ask these two questions to yourself now and write down your answers.

The first question, ‘What do I want?’ invokes some soul-searching. It takes into account the fact that our human nervous system is geared for ‘goal-seeking’. All of us work more effectively if we have an objective to aim for. The aim varies at different stages of our life. What I wanted as a student is different from what I want today. So, what is it that ‘you’ want? Perhaps you want good marks, an admission into a reputed professional course, a well paying job, a great lifestyle etc. Pay attention to your answer. Is it stated in the positive or negative?
A positive goal would be ‘I want good marks’ while a negative goal would be ‘I don’t want to fail’. I want to quit smoking, I want to lose weight, or I want to stop procrastinating are all examples of negative goals. If I were to tell you to stop thinking of a blue elephant, you will find this command difficult to obey, because the moment I say ‘blue elephant’ that picture will flash in your mind. Similarly if your goal is stated in the negative, the focus of your mind will be on the wrong thing. ‘I don’t want to fail’ makes you focus on failure. By stating your goal in negative, you make things difficult for yourself. So ensure that you state your goal positively.

The second question, ‘How will I know when I get it?’ is very tricky. A student who wanted ‘good’ marks said I will know when I stand first in the class. But I prefer specific evidence. I like to know what you will see written on your mark sheet (exact percentage/grade), how will you feel (elated, ecstatic, jubilant), what will you hear (congratulations/compliments), what will you do (throw a party) etc. This exercise provides your nervous system with a graphic representation of success for a particular goal.

Ask yourself, what will you see, hear, and feel as you achieve your goal? What exactly will make you know that you have made it? As you involve all your senses into this experience, you tell your nervous system exactly what to aim for. So get your whole body and sensations involved in your goal.

Once you have done this exercise to your complete satisfaction, stand up, and take a long step (literally), imagining that you are stepping into that time in future; seeing what you will see, feeling how you will feel, and hearing what you will hear, when you have achieved your goal.

Remember your mind and your body are parts of a single system. When you involve the two in a synergetic dance, miracles can be created. Don’t take my word for it. Follow the instructions and see what happens!!

Sit up Straight

2009-11-21T14:25:00.000+05:30

Our body language speaks a lot about ourselves. It is directly related to our confidence levels and state of mind at any given time. Good body language affects confidence and vice versa. Today we will discuss the advantages of sitting up straight. Yes, just sitting up straight in your chair can do wonders not just for your posture but also to your confidence levels. Try it now. Just straighten your back. There you are. Is it making you feel better?

It has been observed that when people sit up straight in their chairs, they tend to believe in themselves and their thought process. People who sit up straight during an interview are more likely to ‘believe’ that they are qualified for a job. Try this little experiment. Write down some positive things about yourself with your back straight and also while slouching over your desk. Does it make any difference? You are more likely to accept and believe in those positive attributes if your back is straight.

When others look at us, sitting straight, they make a positive impression about us; but the best part is that when our back is straight even we feel good about ourselves. Isn’t that a great ‘pick me up’ tool? Any time you start doubting your capabilities, just straighten your back. Nothing could be simpler than that! Your posture will convince you that you are good at whatever you are doing in that moment. Remember your thoughts are affected by your posture, even though you may not realize it at that time. So if you want to become a positive thinker, you have to pay attention to your posture.

Another great tip of the day is to nod your head up and down, as in a ‘yes’, when you are doing some serious study/thinking/contemplation. This gesture makes you confident about your thought process as opposed to the gesture of shaking your head from side to side, as in a ‘no’. Just this insignificant gesture sends some powerful signals to your subconscious mind. You can employ this piece of information to better equip yourself to handle your life. You can try nodding your head while listening to a lecture or presentation; I promise that you will end up assimilating more than you otherwise would have done. So it is a good tool to use in classroom learning!

It is easy to train yourself to sit up straight and nod your head up and down; you can try doing it imperceptibly (the head nodding), so that it doesn’t look too odd; or you can do it intermittently, especially when engrossed in some mental activity. These small changes to your physical posture will offer you great psychological benefits. Try these two tricks while answering multiple answer questions! Your first ‘choice’ will invariably be right!! In any case, you will always do better in an exam if you are sitting up straight!!

Try and maintain a straight posture all the time, soon it will become a habit, and you won’t have to think about doing it. Decide for yourself, would you rather be confident, sitting up straight with your chest pushed out or would you prefer to remain under confident, slouched over your desk, your face looking at your knees? The choice is entirely yours!!!

Hard Work vs. Smart Work

2009-11-18T14:06:00.001+05:30

These days you hear a lot of talk about working smart. People often tell you, ‘You don’t get any where by sheer hard work. Look at the people working at the construction sites, or the ones breaking stones at the roadside. They are working very hard but are they getting anywhere in their lives? If you want to achieve success you need to work ‘smart’.” Such comments leave most of us in confusion. What happened to sayings like, ‘The harder you work, the luckier you get.’ What has happened to the earlier prescription for success, ‘Work hard and success will be yours.’ Is it important to work hard or not? Is hard work a pre-eminent qualification for success or not?

I believe it is. Of course you have to be ‘smart’ about working hard, but hard work always pays. Just being smart or working smart is only half of the real story. The fact remains that hard work and smart work must go hand in hand for you to be successful. Smart work is about making the right strategy. It is about following a disciplined work culture. But finally work gets produced by working hard on that strategy and by implementing those plans on ground. Hard works translates your vision and ideas into results. Look at any successful man today; you will find that besides being smart in their heads, they all work very very hard indeed.

Working hard and working smart go well together. They are not exclusive of each other. Smart work teaches you to be more productive with your time. If you are happy with your current level of success then smart work will surely allow you the luxury of not having to work as hard as you would otherwise do. But if you want to reach the pinnacle of success in your chosen field, than just smart work won’t really help.

Many people think that hard work goes largely unnoticed. They believe that unless you are ‘smart’ about letting others know that you are working hard, you remain a drudge. They call hard work a kind of drudgery. They are more interested in letting the ‘boss’ know that they are working hard. Their focus lies in the wrong direction. They waste a lot of their time and energy in doing this. I think that hard work always gets noticed. Perhaps not in the short run, but eventually people can’t help but notice hard work. No one in this world is blind enough not to notice a hard working guy. And the rewards follow without you having to push for them. Rewards come your way naturally when you have confidence in yourself and your work!

You need to stop worrying about doing ‘hard work’ or ‘smart work’; you should just concentrate on doing your ‘best’ everyday. You should strive for excellence in all that you do. Thinking about rewards and results saps your energy. It creates a ‘neediness’ in you. This neediness is a negative energy; it repels people and rewards from coming your way. Rewards come to you when you are not looking for them continuously. When you strive to learn new things, work at them, grow in your work by improving yourself everyday, how can results be anything but great? When you step out to work with a passion to do your best, you will bring out the best in others as well! That itself is a great reward!!

The most important thing is to focus upon excellence. Success is a byproduct of ex
cellence. When you try to look for your reward in a job well done, other rewards will come your way. Remember that the best always strive to get better! For that you need to push yourself beyond your comfort zone. You need to constantly innovate and improve. You need to work hard as well as smart!!

Tap the Power of your Subconsious Mind

2009-11-10T20:54:00.001+05:30

Most of us rely only on our ‘conscious’ mind for achieving success, while the vast resources of our ‘subconscious’ mind remain untapped. The truth is that the conscious mind is just the tip of the iceberg, while the subconscious mind is the entire ‘iceberg’ itself. By neglecting to tap into our subconscious mind’s powers we end up using only 10% of our real caliber. How can we undo this mistake and make full use of our subconscious mind?

The most important factor in working with your subconscious mind is your attitude. You can tap into this vast resource of information and creativity only with an attitude of calm and confident expectation. Yes, you have to confidently expect the subconscious mind to work for you. After that you have to accept and believe that everything that happens to you, takes you progressively towards achieving success. Are you ready to be calm, confident, expectant, and accepting?

Here is the plan for you to follow:
1. Know what you truly want: Most of us think that we know what we want, but when we are asked to write it all down, we usually flounder.
2. Write down your one goal in great detail: Until you write your goal on a piece of paper, it remains just wishful thinking. Once you put it down on a paper, it becomes a clear signal to your subconscious mind that you actually want to achieve that goal.
3. Reframe your goal in simple, present tense: Re-write your goal in simple, present tense (for example: I am successful. I am confident. I have cleared CAT. I earn 40,000/- per month. Etc) on a small card. Read and re-read it as often as you can, so that it gets steeped into your subconscious.
4. Make a list of all the steps that you are ready to take to move towards your goal: Making such a list helps make you believe in the possibility of achieving your goal. It intensifies your desire.
5. Prioritize this list: Re-do this list putting the most important step on top of the list and the least important step at the bottom of the list.
6. Everyday take action on one of the items on your list: Taking some concrete step everyday helps you maintain momentum towards your goal.
7. Visualize your goal as often as you can: See the outcome of your goal as a foregone conclusion in your mind’s eye. Feel as though you have already achieved your goal. Form a clear and vivid picture. The clearer your picture is the faster it will come into your life.
8. Feel the happiness and excitement: Create a heightened emotion of happiness, satisfaction, achievement, and excitement just the way you will feel if you had actually achieved your goal.
9. Behave as though your success is a reality: Have complete faith in your subconscious mind’s ability to bring your goal into reality. Be confident that you are moving towards your goal.
10. Release your goal: This is the most important step in this process. Once you have taken all the 9 steps (in about 9 days), you must just release your goal to the power of the universe. Yes, just let it go. Release all attachment to it. Just trust that you will be guided to take the right actions at the right time. Get out of the way of the working of the universe/your subconscious mind.

Try this technique on one small goal today. When you achieve that goal, your faith will strengthen. Then you can try it on other more important goals. Don’t take my word for it. Use your life as your laboratory. Soon you will graduate from a ‘positive thinker’ to a ‘co-creator’ of your destiny! Are you ready for this ride?

Discipline your Self

2009-11-04T14:59:00.000+05:30

Gary Ryan Blair, a motivational speaker, once said, “Self-discipline is an act of cultivation. It requires you to connect today's actions to tomorrow's results. There's a season for sowing, and a season for reaping. Self-discipline helps you know which is which.”

Just like motivation, discipline cannot really be enforced from outside. It is an intrinsic quality which is very important to be cultivated in order to achieve success. We need to be self disciplined if we wish to achieve our dreams. Most people do not like the word ‘self discipline’ as they think that it restricts their freedom to do, say or think what they want to do, say or think. People tell me that they try very hard to be self-disciplined but tend to fall into old patterns because of habit. This predicament tells me that these people have not understood the true meaning of self discipline. So what does self discipline really mean? Is it about creating rigid structures/ time tables and following them religiously? To me self discipline is an intrinsic attribute that defines who we really are. It does not amount to ‘doing’ something. It is all about ‘being’ something.

The first most important step in being self-disciplined is setting a goal. To most of us goal setting means specific objectives that need to be met and smart actions that need to be taken, in a given time frame. A goal is generally supposed to be tangible and material. It is something which the intellect can comprehend as ‘success’. Of course, such goals are important; but our primary goal should always be that of attaining self discipline. Once that goal is achieved, the rest would fall in place automatically. Unless you are self disciplined your smart goals will remain unachieved. In the process, they will end up causing so much stress in your life that they will do more harm than good.

So, how can you become self disciplined? Self discipline encompasses self respect, self worth, and self responsibility. It is an amalgamation of all three. It is a shift from dependence upon others to dependence upon self. When you want to achieve success that brings money and a sense of personal satisfaction with it; it is a form of aspiration, a goal of ‘doing and having’. The goal of ‘being’ self disciplined requires introspection. This goal is ‘intrinsic’ and not driven by any external trappings. If you want to impress someone with your self-discipline, then the goal has been set by that person not you. Do you get that? Self discipline is a goal for you, by you, and about you. Its focal point must lie within you.

How will you know that you have become self disciplined? The following are the qualities of a self-disciplined person. Check them out and grade yourself:

· A self-disciplined person respects him/her self.
· A self- disciplined person takes responsibility for ‘all’ that s/he experiences in life.
· A self-disciplined person does not dissipate her/his energies by dabbling in un-productive activities.
· A self-disciplined person remains focused on the task at hand and channels all her/his energies in the right direction.
· A self-disciplined person knows exactly what s/he desires from life.
· A self-disciplined person sets high standards for her/himself.
· A self-disciplined person is open to new learning.
· A self-disciplined person produces high quality work (quality of your work is a direct reflection of how much respect you have for yourself).
· A self-disciplined person works for self development and not to impress or belittle others.
· A self-disciplined person feels worthy of all that s/he achieves.
· A self-disciplined person doesn’t play the ‘blame game’.
· A self-disciplined person doesn’t wallow in ‘victim mentality’.

Are you there or do you require some more ‘self-discipline’? Think about it and take action asap!!

Achieve your Highest Potential

2009-11-01T12:09:00.002+05:30

How many of you think that you have achieved your highest potential? I am sure there are none. After all success is a journey and at any time we have the potential to achieve more than we currently have. But how many of us actually understand this fact? More often than not we reach a plateau and stop thinking about achieving more. In order to achieve our highest potential in each stage of our lives, we need to understand ourselves. A few questions help us do just that. Take some time and answer the following questions.

What is important to you?
What do you live for?
What have you always wanted to do?
What stops you from achieving more than you have?

Answering these questions would set you on an amazing journey of self-discovery and stupendous growth. Are you ready for it? Are you aware of the activities that make your heart sing? The trick lies in indulging in these activities more often and with more enthusiasm. Be totally involved in these activities. When we are involved in something that we feel passionate about, we automatically give our all to it. We are able to devote all our energies to the task at hand. In the process of enjoying ourselves, we lend more power to the end result of these activities. Ask yourself; do you want lukewarm results or powerful results? The choice is entirely yours.

Sometimes we get too bogged down by the mundane things that just have to be done. It is easy to slip into half-hearted efforts of drudgery and most of the times we do just that. Have you ever thought what may happen if you start paying more attention to your routine tasks? To begin with, start focusing more on the benefits of the work that you do, rather than on the work itself. Create a sense of inner pride about everything that you undertake. For example, don’t do your job because you have to. Do your work as though it is the most important job in the world.

Why must you do that? Why should your attitude matter in such a simple, routine thing as your work? The fact remains that if you approach your work with grudging obligation, a few things will happen.

You won’t enjoy the process. You will be more focused on just getting it done. You won’t give your full attention to the process.
Since you didn’t pay full attention to the process, the results will not be satisfactory. The results may be ‘okay’, and you might be fine with it, but won’t ‘good’ be better than ‘okay’? And won’t ‘great’ be better than ‘good’?
You will miss out on a great sense of accomplishment that comes from a job well done.

If you wish to experience a greater sense of joy and fulfillment in your life, enjoy the things that you do, and expect the very best from life. Settling for anything less is insulting your highest potential!!!!!!!

Transform your Consciousness to Succeed in Life

2009-10-30T15:35:00.000+05:30

Have you ever wondered how a failure-consciousness is created and what you can do to move out of it? Most of the times we remain failure conscious, because of our over-entanglement in the material world! Everything reminds us of our inability to ‘afford’ it. This idea of perpetual lack makes us conscious of the fact that perhaps we are failures in this world!! These thoughts also release stress chemicals into our brain, making us feel fearful of future. The more we fall into this trap of ‘not enough of successes’; the more we start thinking negatively. These thoughts create mini panic attacks in our consciousness; eventually we end up becoming a failure in whatsoever we undertake. These ‘loser’ thoughts in our body-mind deplete our energy, creating ‘failure-attacks’ in our inner world, which eventually manifest in our outer world!

Do you really want to remain entrapped in this cyclical experience? Surely not! This experience makes you certain of one thing, which translates as ‘I do not want any more of this experience.’ So, what is it that you ‘do’ want? If you just focus your awareness away from failure to success; your problem can be solved.

Buddha said, ‘We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.’ Do these statements ring true for you? Suppose you were to put all your attention on feelings of acceptance and gratitude for all your successes, big or small, where will that take you? Some chemicals will be released in your brain that will make you feel positive, and you will feel this positivity throughout your body. If you do this regularly, more of these ‘feel good’ chemicals will be produced, making you happier by the day. This inner vibration of happiness will attract ‘success’ towards you in all its myriad forms, such as admission in a good college, a higher paying job, great relationships etc.

Learn to measure your success only upon the quality and quantity of ‘feel good’ feelings you are experiencing. Success is a relative word. Besides, it is not a destination; it is only a journey. It is a continuous process. It is impermanent. You are only as successful as your present assignment. Right now, you measure your success upon clearing CAT, J-MET, or XAT etc. Then your success will be measured upon getting a call from some good institute; then upon converting that call into a seat; then doing well in your course and bagging a good placement; after that it will be measured upon your climb up the corporate ladder. Someone has rightly called it a rat-race. Even if you were winning this race, you are still a rat; and you have to keep running as long as the other rats are running. When does this ever end?

Well, it ends the day you start measuring your success upon the quality and quantity of your ‘feel-good’ feelings! The true permanent state of success can only come from within.

Appreciating each success on your path and being grateful for it is the fastest route to getting there. There are many successful people on this planet, who do not ‘feel’ successful and are continuously striving to achieve more. Even though they have all the trappings of success, they actually remain entrapped in ‘failure-consciousness’. Do you get my point?

Being grateful for your daily successes is the easiest way to end failures forever. When your success is measured by how deeply you feel successful and how often you visit this feeling, your success experience becomes a permanent feature in your psyche.

Now that you have understood the secret to being successful; pay attention to your current beliefs regarding success and failure. More often than not our hidden beliefs run our lives from behind the scenes. If you think that you need to work ‘harder’ in order to be successful, then that is exactly what you will create in your life!

Go deep within you. Examine your beliefs. What beliefs are lurking there that make you struggle more, work harder, remain stressful, and feel like a failure all the time? These beliefs are creating your reality. You can change these beliefs anytime that you want to, and choose empowering success beliefs. Remember that your mind is creative. Use its powers to create success in your life. Explore every aspect of your being; understand yourself. This understanding facilitates your growth and evolution. Life is not a problem to overcome, but rather something to enjoy! Appreciate, love, respect, and accept life.

The golden rule of life is that whatever you put your attention upon expands in your life. So focus upon your successes and do not dwell upon your so-called failures. Doing so will uplift your vibrations and your mood. You will open up to more success in your experience. The ‘success’ that you are missing is actually hidden behind your ‘failure consciousness’. Your focus on failure is making ‘true’ success elude you.

Be willing and open to trying out this new understanding. You have the power to transform your failure consciousness into a success consciousness. Consider your failures as your teachers, and learn from each experience. Go ahead; make a list of all your failures, no matter what they are. Go through them one by one. Let go of the feeling of how you had wished the outcome to actually be. What did each experience teach you? Make a list of all these learnings. See how your life has been enriched by all these learnings.

Now make a list of all your successes, however small they feel to you. How do you feel thinking about them? Appreciate yourself for these successes. Enjoy the feeling of achievement. Spend sometime re-living those successful moments. Remember, whatever you focus upon grows in your life! Think thoughts such as, ‘Thank you God for my successes.’ ‘I am successful.’ ‘I have it in me.’ ‘I can do it and I will do it.’ ‘I can count on myself.’ These thoughts will make you feel confident about success.

Think successful thoughts, and EXPECT success!!

Develop your Social Skills

2009-10-21T16:39:00.000+05:30

Developing social skills is as important as developing professional skills if we want to become well rounded individuals. These skills not only help us in our personal sphere but also play a great role in our work/study space. In fact possessing these skills is an important pre-requisite for developing self confidence.
Generally the social skills difficulties become apparent during adolescence. The same child who had happily played along with other kids suddenly starts feeling isolated. S/he can’t seem to strike friendships any more. This happens because of the changed social interaction requirements of teenagers. As a kid, all s/he had to do was take turn at certain games; but as one grows up, one needs to take into consideration a lot more than that.
As an adolescent and an adult you need to be able to grasp both verbal and non-verbal cues. You need to distinguish between literal and non-literal language. While most of us manage to make this transition, it doesn’t come easily to some of us. The worst part is that the world around us takes these skills for granted. We are just supposed to know all this as we grow up. This pressure makes some of us to give up trying and become introverts.
These introverts want to make friends and have an active social life, but they don’t know how to go about it. They fear being ridiculed or worse still, ignored. They are the ones who most often get bullied; at home, school, college and work. They are labeled as ‘weirdo’. Unfortunately when we are labeled as such, we tend to live up to these labels. Labeling people is the worst thing we can do to them.
Parents, teachers and peers just wonder, ‘why doesn’t this guy just get it?’ No one realizes that such people are suffering. Unless they are helped, the consequences can be devastating. Socially recluse people suffer from anxiety, depression, substance abuse and social isolation.
If you are one such person who feels socially isolated, you could try the following
Smile more often. Try smiling at everyone you meet.
Learn to offer help wherever needed.
Become genuinely interested in people.
Learn to actually listen to what others are saying, and ask one or two questions that show that you have been listening.
Instead of asking, ‘what is in it for me?’ Ask, ‘what can I do for you?
Look at your strengths, instead of looking at your shortcomings.
Appreciate yourself and appreciate people. Yes, you will have to say it out loud and be genuine about it. You can easily find one good thing to appreciate in everyone you meet, including yourself.
Last but not the least, love and respect yourself for what you are.

How to motivate yourself?

2009-09-11T13:53:00.000+05:30

Everyone knows that motivation generates success, but most of us look at factors outside of ourselves to motivate us. Can others motivate us? The answer is unequivocally ‘NO’. Others can create conditions to motivate us but that’s all they can do. Motivation always comes from within. What if we could truly be our own motivators! Would you like to learn this art of motivating yourself?
We often talk about motivation, we discuss motivation, we read about it, and we learn motivation theories. We do get motivated as well, but this motivation doesn’t last for long. What can we do to stay motivated all the time? Different people get motivated by different things. What motivates you may not be the same that motivates your friend. Some get motivated by positive thoughts, while for some others enjoyment is a motivating factor. Some get motivated if they are made to feel important while some others get motivated by success. To some people personal benefit is a motivating factor while to some others clarity of purpose is motivating. What is it that motivates you? Think about it. Perhaps it is a combination of many factors.
Here are some things that you can do to motivate yourself:-
· Whenever you attain any goal, however small, advertise your success to all and sundry. Thank everyone who has played any role in this success. Talk positively about yourself and all your endeavors. Also compliment others on their success.
· Write down all the things that you enjoy doing. Whenever possible do the tasks that you enjoy. Build enjoyable activities around your primary goal in life. Celebrate when you succeed, by treating your friends to coffee or lunch. Smile more often. Your enjoyment is contagious. Show happiness when others succeed.
· Listen to people but form your own opinion about everything. Take credit for your ideas while giving credit to others for their ideas.
· Set clear, reasonable goals for yourself. Understand what these goals mean to you and your life.
· Identify how you can gain from any activity that you undertake. State this gain clearly to yourself. Monitor your success. Evaluate your level of success. If you do not succeed, question yourself, ‘Why’, so that you would know what to do next time in order to succeed.
· Plan your activities and your communications. Be clear about what you write and what you say. Be clear in both: your thoughts and your speech.
Once you are truly motivated, no one will need to prod you or nag you. You will enthusiastically carry out all your tasks. Ultimately you will learn more and grow faster. But be careful not to force your own motivational preferences on others. Remember, each one of us has our own motivational hot spots!!

Become an Effective Communicator

2009-08-18T19:05:00.000+05:30

Effective communication skills are a valued commodity in today’s world; more so in these recessionary times. How can one hone these communication/speaking/ presentation skills?

Thorough preparation of your topic/subject is of utmost importance. You must be very clear as to what you wish to convey and why? Once you know the purpose of your message, you can easily focus upon organizing your thoughts. Ask yourself, “What is the message I wish to convey?”
Being completely relaxed while speaking/presenting your ideas adds value to your views.
Rehearsing before presenting is helpful, whether you rehearse physically or mentally. More prepared you are more relaxed you’ll feel.
Visualization techniques or mental imagery helps you determine the kind of results you want to achieve. You can visualize an event either with closed eyes or with open eyes. Bring in positive and joyful feelings into your visualizations.
Your appearance adds substance to your words, so your clothes must be chosen with care. When you know that you look good, you feel confident. However, you should look smart but not flashy. It is best to wear something that you feel comfortable in.
Any materials or visual aids you plan to use must be prepared well in time.
Don’t rush to the venue at the last minute. It helps your composure to be there well ahead of time.
There are times when you have to speak impromptu; in that case quickly organize your thoughts and get clear about the purpose of your speaking. Tell yourself, what you have to say matters.
Choose to speak about topics that you believe in. Convey messages that you resonate with. When you speak about something with passion and conviction, people listen to you.
Act confident. Think of a time in the past when you were very confident. Just thinking about it will bring that energy back to you and you will feel empowered. Remember, confidence is contagious.
Do not be self-conscious. It is best not to pay attention to yourself while speaking. Remove your focus from yourself and put it on your message.
Cut out all negative self-talk. If you think that others are sizing you up and checking you out; immediately put a stop to such thoughts.
Allow the natural you to express yourself and shine through. Do not ‘try’ to gain approval by putting up a show.
Breathe in a natural and relaxed manner. Before speaking, pay attention to your breathing. If you are tense your breathing will be shallow.
Speak in a conversational manner. Look at the audience eye to eye. Talk to individuals in a group and not to the group as a whole.
Tell yourself that it is alright to commit mistakes. Mistakes are only a part of the learning process. Everyone makes a mistake once in a while.
The idea is to do your best and give your all but be willing to accept yourself exactly the way you are. You don’t have to be perfect.
Express yourself completely with your entire being. Let your enthusiasm show. Don’t hold back. Stay in the flow. This will ensure your peak performance.
Stay in the present moment; the here and now. Don’t think of past or future. Don’t think of the outcome.

All these tips will help you perform at your peak level. Go ahead, and speak with confidence.

Planning your study hours in a hostel

2009-08-10T10:22:00.000+05:30

“Do not squander time for that is the stuff life is made of”. Benjamin Franklin said this and he was right; but say this to any hosteller (especially a new hosteller), and they would wrinkle their pretty nose at you. Hostel life can be great fun once we get adjusted to it; and from there on having ‘fun’ becomes a priority in life. No, no one is asking you not to have fun, but please for heaven’s sake do not forget your primary reason for being in that hostel. Yes, if I may remind you, it is to ‘study’. In fact most parents prefer putting their wards in hostels because it reduces travelling time and increases ‘study’ time. These well meaning parents forget that most hostels are not the most conducive places for study. There are many distractions and unless one is disciplined and self-regulated, managing time may be a tad difficult for most youngsters.
However, not all youngsters are alike. If you are conscious of your life goals and mature enough to take responsibility of your life; then certainly you will remain focused, otherwise you need some support from outside (parents, friends, counselors etc). Here are some pointers from my book of life:-
· Determine how you spend a typical week by keeping a record of all your activities. This will include time spent in classes, studying, sleeping, exercising, grooming, eating, relaxing, and socializing. Analyze this chart and review it.
· Work out your priorities. Each aspect of your daily routine is important but some aspects are more important than others.
· The quality of your study time is more important than the quantity. So create your study plan. Decide what to study, when to study, and how to study.
· Write down your objective for studying.
· Set your targets. Be protective of your study time from unwarranted intrusion. Manage your time effectively.
· Decide upon the subjects and topics you will cover during each study session. Include variety to stay interested in your studies.
· Analyze your strengths and your weaknesses with honesty. Pay more attention to the areas that you are strong in. This advice may defy common wisdom, but I believe in working on your strengths to strengthen yourself. This will improve your effectiveness.
· Review your previous study session at the start of a new session. This will keep you connected with your work and build up from there.
· As you progress with your course, evaluate how you are achieving your personal goals. Perhaps it is time to re-structure your study hours. A good time to do this evaluation is during mid-semester.
Remember that studying at regular intervals through the year offers the best chance at success. Your study area, your capacities, and your ambition will finally determine your personal study plan. If you can proudly say, ‘I plan my work and then I work my plan’, you have found the perfect formula for success!!

HT Horizons

How to hold your own in Group Discussions?

2009-07-16T22:00:00.000+05:30

Doing well in group discussions has become an important criterion for getting into a college/institute of your choice. In order to perform this feat one has to be clear about the purpose of holding a group discussion. Which qualities in a candidate make him stand above others? Which magic factor decides who is in and who is out?

In a group discussion, there are candidates of the same age group, possessing similar intelligence levels (as ensured by the cut off marks or written tests), discussing an issue informally. A group is generally made up of six to ten candidates, who have full freedom to discuss their views in the manner they please. This exercise enables the examiners to assess the personality traits of many candidates within the same time frame.

The candidates must understand that as opposed to a written exam which is an elimination test, a group discussion is part of the selection process. It means that from any one group of candidates, all, some or none may be chosen. It also means that you need not try to be one up on the others in your own group. Instead, you need to cultivate some winsome qualities and project them on the D-day. This way you will carry your team along with you.

What are these winsome qualities? Educational institutes are looking for intelligent, confident, visionary leaders who have tremendous communication skills, listening skills and inter-personal skills. A GD offers a great opportunity for natural leadership qualities of a candidate to emerge. How can you make sure that you come across as a leader with a vision? Here are some points worth looking at:

· A common misconception amongst candidates is that you must speak as much as you can and as many times. Yes, you must speak, but not all at the same time, as happens most often. Everyone trying to speak at the same time creates more mayhem but no winners.

· An important point is to learn to disagree agreeably. Remaining polite in the face of provocation is a great quality.

· Losing your cool and getting emotional about any topic is a strict no-no.

· Speaking fluently and convincingly is an art that you must inculcate.

· Knowledge of a subject is a great asset. You cannot possibly speak on a subject unless you know it thoroughly.

· Talk intimately yet audibly. Do not shout or mumble. Pronounce your words clearly.

· Approach the topic objectively and rationally. Offer authentic and convincing reasons in support of your arguments and conclusions.

· Create a strong and favorable impact upon your group.

The key to holding your own in a group discussion lies in displaying initiative, intelligence, patience, tolerance, tact, and faculty of speech. A GD is not about being competitive; it is about being assertively co-operative!!

How to beat nervousness before an interview..

2009-07-09T21:04:00.000+05:30

Most of us talk dime a dozen when we are with our friends, but the moment we are asked to face an interview or participate in a debate, we get tongue tied. We start fidgeting, sweating, and looking around; rather than focusing on the topic being discussed. Why is it so? What makes us so nervous? Is it the fear of failure alone or is their something else at play? Whatever be the reason, it is more important to know how to overcome this situation. How can we beat nervousness before an important event? Here are some suggestions:-

· Before you start an interview, you would be required to shake the interviewer’s hand. Make sure to wipe the sweat off your hands prior to entering the interview room. A sweaty handshake is not the best way to start an interview.

· Do not start asking too many questions at the beginning of the interview. Speaking too much is a sure sign of nervousness. Just sit there as directed and let the interviewer handle the interview. Give straight, intelligent answers. Save your questions and comments for the latter part of the interview.

· Look into the interviewer’s eyes in order to stay focused. If you feel uncomfortable doing that, just look at one point near their eyes. In any case do not look around the room or at the ceiling, as if looking for something. Doing this is a sign of either nervousness or disinterest. Both these traits won’t get you anywhere.

· Sit up straight with your back against the chair. A slouching posture or sitting at the edge of your chair not only makes you look unintelligent; it also shows your lack of pride in yourself. Do not move or fidget in your chair. It shows that you are uncomfortable being there.

· Don’t smirk or laugh that nervous laughter when faced with a question that you can’t answer. It will surely give away your uncertainty. Employ a serious, business-like expression and answer the questions honestly.

· Take a small pause before you answer. Don’t start answering immediately. Don’t try to keep repeating your answer or give explanations. That shows lack of self-confidence.

· Do not scratch your head, rub your hands together, crack your knuckles, jiggle a foot, bite nails, tap your fingers, touch your face un-necessarily, adjust your tie, clench your fists, rub your nose, or twirl the ring on your finger. All these movements give away your nervousness and insecurity.

· Your tone of voice easily reflects your nervousness, so speak deliberately and clearly. Remember, it isn’t only what you say, but the way you say it that makes the real difference.

One vital thing to remember is that everyone, without exception, feels slightly nervous before an interview. The success embraces those guys who know how to beat this nervousness…….

Social Intelligence

2009-06-04T12:34:00.002+05:30

We have heard of emotional intelligence, but social intelligence is the new ‘must have’ doing the rounds these days. During the economic slowdown, this expression has taken a new meaning. Developing social intelligence is said to improve most areas of your life. It is being termed as a life changing skill. But what does social intelligence mean? Before we understand that, tell me which are the areas that count in your life? Easy enough! For most of you, these would be your career, your wealth, your relationships, your happiness, and you, yourself. Let me tell you that a high social intelligence will help you improve upon all these areas.

As of now how would you rate your social intelligence? Have you ever walked confidently into a room full of people and initiated an engaging conversation with someone. How successful are you in striking a conversation with someone of the opposite sex, and making that person look at you with admiration? How often have you got what you wanted; such as a job, a raise, a business deal? What about your family? How often do you get them to do something happily and willingly? To sum up, do you have a verbal advantage?

Has there been a time, when you have been completely engrossed in a conversation with someone? I am sure you can remember many such times. Imagine yourself in one such scenario. You are talking and someone is intently listening to you. You are completely into that moment. You are feeling great rapport with your listener; paying all your attention to this person in front of you. You feel completely connected. You intuitively feel that this person understands you. When s/he speaks you too hang on to every spoken word. There is instant understanding. This type of friendship and respect goes beyond words. I think you have got the picture.

Now tell me how much better your life would become, if you feel the same kind of rapport with everyone you meet? Got you there! You will invariably say, ‘it is impossible to develop this kind of rapport with everyone.’ This is where your social intelligence comes in. Have you ever wondered how some people become millionaires even without going to college? Well, I am not talking about the ones who inherit millions or who use illegal means to earn their money. I am talking about regular people with a highly developed social intelligence. This skill makes them charismatic. They win hearts wherever they go. Let us see what other benefits can be reaped by this single skill.

When you have oodles of social intelligence, you end up getting preferential treatment: during travel, at work, in social setups, or even in malls!! You easily develop instant rapport with people. Total strangers respond warmly to you. People control their attitudes and emotions when they are with you. Your family and friends respond warmly to you. You feel emotionally fulfilled. Even when you need to correct a colleague, friend, or family member; you can do it easily without causing any heart burns. You deal efficiently with difficult and angry people. You get noticed. You stand out in a crowd. You become successful. You gain respect.

You must be wondering how is all this possible? Well, all this and much more is possible, if you develop social intelligence. Now you will ask, ‘What do I need to do in order to develop social intelligence?’ Developing social intelligence is not tough, all it requires is your intention and sincere practice of some time tested tools. Let me just enumerate the important steps to you. As you become good at it, you can add your own steps.

• To begin with you will need to become genuinely interested in people.
• You will need to learn to actually listen to what others are saying, and ask one or two questions that show that you have been listening.
• You will need to come out of your self-centeredness.
• Instead of asking, ‘what is in it for me?’ You will need to ask, ‘what can I do for you?’
• You will need to love and respect people for what they are and not for what they have or what they do.
• You will need to look at people’s strengths, instead of looking at their shortcomings.
• You will need to appreciate people. Yes, you will have to say it out loud and be genuine about it. I am sure you can find one good thing to appreciate in everyone you meet.
• You will need to smile more often. Try smiling at everyone you meet.
• You will need to offer help wherever needed.
• Last but not the least, you will need to love and respect yourself.

These steps if followed regularly to a ‘T’ can help you achieve personal and professional growth. Social intelligence is a life changing skill. It can also be termed as ‘soulcializing’. All great communicators have worked at this skill.

You see, this is an advanced form of effective communication. Every time you communicate with someone, what do you try to do? Most of the times you are persuading someone to do something or avoid something; whether in the present or in the future! Every time you face two choices. Either you do it outright or you convey your message in subtle ways. In order to succeed you need to be effective in both these methods. Your social intelligence helps you choose the right method at the right time.

Of course, you do need to have your other credentials in place. Social intelligence is just the icing on the cake. But you well know that it is the icing that makes the difference. Have you seen sprinters running in a competition? The champions are invariably just a few hundredth of a second faster than the rest. Similarly, most successful people have mastered just a small skill here and there, which is unknown to the rest. They often use right charm and words to get other people to open up to them.

So, determine what you want to achieve in life, hone your social intelligence skills, and EXPECT success!!!!!

Seven Steps to Success

2009-04-24T13:56:00.001+05:30

Have you discovered the most powerful success technique on Earth as yet? Are you ready to take some steps that could change your life? Do you wish to enjoy success along with limitless energy? Are you interested in experiencing creative rushes? Do you want to think like a genius and solve problems quickly? Do you wish to double your ability to learn and release all stress in the process? All this may sound like some sales pitch to you. No, I am not selling anything. I am just asking you to follow some steps that I have been following with great satisfaction. It won’t cost you anything but a little attitudinal shift.

Someone rightly said that when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. So, in these uncertain times of worry and financial concerns, it makes sense to use all available tools to rise above any situation that life may have handed you. Let us look at these tools now.

Don’t make your heart ‘set’ upon something: - When you set your heart upon achieving something, you are opening yourself to a probable upset. On the other hand, if you stay ‘open’, you release the desire to control those things over which you have no control whatsoever. Then you just concentrate on doing your best and letting go of the result. Isn’t this what Lord Krishna propagated in Gita? It is time to revisit this timeless wisdom. As you release your fixed expectations from yourself, you can breathe a sigh of relief. ‘Unknown’ is a great territory. Once we ready ourselves to explore it, we discover some powerful aspects of ourselves that we didn’t know existed. Yes, we are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. When you push through your fears, you are ready to explore and use this incredible power that is available to you.

Stop ‘hoping’, start ‘wondering’: -Watch your words. How often do you use the words, ‘I hope’. If you are like most people, these words form a regular part of your vocabulary. Now, whenever you want to say, ‘I hope’, replace the words with ‘I wonder’. Instead of saying, ‘I hope I clear the CAT’, say, ‘I wonder if I will clear the CAT.’ Speak these two sentences out aloud; verbalize them. Feel the difference in their energy vibrations. The second sentence is definitely more positive. While uttering the first sentence, you are part of the drama, but when you vocalize the second sentence, you have detached yourself from the outcome. (Gita, anyone?) It is like watching a good play and wondering what comes next. Hopes have a chance of getting dashed but wonder is another ballgame. It opens up new possibility of growing and learning, whatever the outcome may be.

Trust: - Once you realize that you do not have much control over what happens in your external circumstances, you are left with just two choices. You can think of yourself as a poor little thing, a victim at the mercy of outer events or you can choose to develop trust in your innate capabilities. You can choose to think that come what may, you will take the best from all situations; trusting yourself and the Universe. One easy way to develop trust in life is by deliberately shutting off negativity in any form. If you repeat the mantra, ‘Whatever happens in my life, I can handle it’ as often as you can; you will eventually believe in it. And if you really believe in your own capability to handle everything in your life, nothing can deter you from your path. In future, whenever you are bogged down by any ‘what ifs’, go ahead and chant this mantra. You will feel powerful, confident, and peaceful.

Role models: - Do you have any role models? People who have achieved success against all odds? Look for such heroes in your environment or your history books, and then tell yourself, ‘If they could do it, why can’t I?’ Yes, if others can learn and grow from their experiences, so can you. You can learn and find strength from anything that you do in your life. The trick lies in seeing all situations in life as a means of learning and growing. Once you release your need to experience things in a certain way, you can learn from any thing that happens to you. All situations carry inherent learning opportunities. Just embrace the situation and find the gift.

Affirm: - Affirmations play a great part in our growth process. One of my all time favorite affirmation is, ‘Everything is perfect the way it is.’ You see, the fact is that at any given time we cannot see the larger picture; the ‘grand design’. The whole picture is a mystery until it is revealed to us, and that happens only in retrospect. We look at our past and exclaim, thank God this did or didn’t happen at that time! When we affirm that it is all happening perfectly, we begin looking for ‘good’ in every life situation. And the truth is that whatever we look for, we find it. Sometimes we can find a great deal of good in a most hopeless situation.

Focus on success: - While going through the rigmarole of our daily existence, there is a lot that we take for granted. From now onwards please start taking note of your little successes. In my workshops, I ask all participants to make a ‘win list’ at night. This win list includes all the things that you know you are going to do the next day. Simple things such as getting up, wearing slippers, going to the bathroom, brushing your teeth, bathing etc, are part of a win list. All you need to do is that after performing each task on your list you just tick it. It is something like a ‘to do’ list but unlike the ‘to do’ list, ‘win list’ contains all those chores that you are certain of doing, so there is no scope for failure. It may sound like a simple tool, but it is very powerful. With each ‘tick’ your brain registers a ‘win’. It gets used to appreciating your successes. By noticing these small successes, life becomes successful. Remember, being successful is a habit.

Take positive actions: - As we get involved and take positive action, we re-affirm our faith in ourselves. Ask yourself, ‘What must I do now?’ Make a list of all that comes to mind. Do not censor anything. And then immediately begin to take action. At the end of it you will feel powerful and successful.

So, live these secrets to creating a fulfilled life and EXPECT success!!
Advanc’edge MBA, April 2009.

Healing from Insecurity and Stress

2009-04-11T18:44:00.002+05:30

What is it that makes us feel secure in life? Educational credentials, well paying job, decent bank balance, comfortable home, or happy understanding family?? What is your pick? People have a tendency to cling to all kinds of goals and aspirations in order to feel secure. Some cling to career goals (when I do an MBA, I will feel secure), some have financial goals (when I earn 20 Lakhs per annum, I will feel secure), while some harbor relationship goals (when I get married, I will be secure). In these uncertain times, it makes sense to ask ourselves, what are we clinging to, in order to feel secure? Many a times we achieve our career goal only to find that our relationships are in a mess. Or we achieve our relationship goal and find our finances going all awry.

The other day a friend of mine asked me, “What do most people want?” The answer just came, “A little bit more.” Yes, this is the punch line. Most of us are never satisfied or secure. ‘A little bit more’ eggs us on. But the fact is that true security cannot be found in the outer world. This global recession is here to teach us this universal truth. It is time for us to find security in the present moment, in the here and now, even though everything seems to be going wrong in our lives. Most of us see ads like ‘the complete man’. We see pictures of young, good looking, successful people and feel, ‘this person has everything’. Yes, there are a few lucky people who achieve all their goals or so it seems. But the truth is that these achievements still fail to make them feel secure. Security cannot be found by fixing everything in our life from the outside. It is an inside job.

What does this insecurity do to us? To say the least, it produces stress in our lives. An excess of stress blunts our sensitivity to the very process of living. In the present times, stress is affecting every level of our society. It is resulting in us changing our friends, our jobs, and our life partners more often than ever before. Now thanks to global recession, we are being asked to adapt to an insecure world. How do we do that?

We need to listen to our inner guidance in the middle of a chaotic and insecure world. This will help create inner peace and tranquility. Detach yourself from your pre-occupation with jobs, families, and friends as attachment causes you to imagine all sorts of fearful and negative outcomes. Live in the present moment. Remain committed and involved with your work and your families but realize that you are not dependant on them for your security. Instead become more dependent on your inner guidance. When you develop faith in your intuition and depend upon it to guide you, you will be led to a peaceful foundation in a turbulent world. Living intuitively will help you unfold your wings.

Fear of this new world order makes us more stressful. It fills our minds with all kinds of negative thoughts. We start worrying about how to earn enough money. We start doubting our capabilities. We start conjuring up images of catastrophes. We imagine that something terrible might happen. These worries produce more stress. The excess stress impairs our performance and our judgments. Letting go of our worries and entering an unknown future makes the transition much easier. Learning to completely trust the inner calling takes us to just the right place for us. When we take the risk of letting go of our past conditioning, we discover freedom. We escape the worry trap.

When we start taking our first few steps into the unknown, it may seem very frightening, but our persistence assures us that our inner guidance can be trusted. This assurance makes us relax. We become comfortable and choose new directions with inner confidence.

Sharing our thoughts with close friends and family members helps, but we need to completely take responsibility for our lives. We must let our intuition guide us in becoming a participant in making important decisions that affect our lives. How do we connect with our intuition? There are many ways, but I will share the one that works for me.

Sit in silence at a regular time every day. Closing the eyes helps in the process. Ask your higher self for guidance and then ‘listen’ to the answer. Do not filter anything; listen to all that comes to your mind. After opening your eyes, make an entry in your personal development diary (if you do not have one, please make it NOW). Thank your higher self for the insights and ask this part of yourself to help make the inner changes in you. Over a period of time you will not only develop a sense of peace and security, but also receive guidance for taking actions. These inspired actions will lead you to your life’s path.

Listening to inner guidance will help simplify your life. Dada Vaswani of Pune tells this lovely story. In a handloom factory, each worker was told, “If your threads get entangled, call for the foreman.” One day a new worker’s threads got entangled. She tried to disentangle them, but only made them worse. Finally she asked for the foreman. He took one look at the threads and said, “Have you been trying to do this yourself?” She nodded her head in affirmative. He said, “Why didn’t you ask for me?” She timidly replied, “But I was doing my best.” The foreman quietly said, “No, you were not. In future remember that doing your best is sending for me.”

This is exactly what we do in our own lives. While we think that we are doing our best, we complicate our lives. Now the time has come to call for our inner guidance, and that is the best thing we can do. We can be healed of our insecurities and stress by following our potential. It may lead us to a different life path from the one we are used to but it will definitely take care of all the complications that have entered our lives without our being aware of them.

So go ahead, turn to your inner guidance, relax and EXPECT the very best from life!!!!

Role of Confusion in our Lives

2009-03-21T19:41:00.001+05:30

I am confused. What is the confusion you may ask and my answer would be, ‘Aren’t you confused?’ These are confusing times indeed. Confusion is in the air. It is contagious. What makes us all so confused? We, the people, who have lived most of our lives with clear, analytical approach on every subject under the sun! We, who work out various permutations and combinations and predict the trends in every area of our lives! It is not about us and our capabilities anymore. It is the ‘times’ that are changing. No, longer are we able to predict anything with any certainty and that is what is causing this great epidemic of confusion. We are zapped out of our wits.

The weather, the economics, the politics, or the job scenario; nothing is as it used to be. There are job freezes, de-hirings, salary cuts, bonus freezes, cost cuttings and resultant insecurities. Most institutes are seeing poor placements. Even the so called ‘premier’ institutes can’t ensure plum placements. The bubble seems to be bursting. One thing follows another and the Domino effect gathers momentum.

So what do we do in these uncertain times? What are the choices that we have? The solution seems simple enough to me. We just need to understand the confusion and find the silver lining hidden in it. If you have read the Chaos theory, you would know that confusion can be very deceptive. Out of confusion great creativeness takes birth; which brings about clarity.

What is this clarity we are looking for? It is the clarity to move forward and take the next step. They say a lot of clarity results after churning the sea of confusion. So let us churn this sea and find out for ourselves.

We must start from the premise that confusion is a platform from which we can have greater access to wisdom. Confusion hampers our habitual way of thinking, which is a blessing in disguise since our habitual thoughts tend to block our wisdom. When these habitual thoughts stop working, a new door opens for us. It is like when our brain can’t figure something out, it goes nuts!!! We have been programmed to think that our brain must figure everything out. After all that is its’ job; to understand things. When brain stops doing its job, we kind of stall. If we stay in the flow and stop fighting or resisting this ‘stall’, we can easily transition from brain based intellectual logic to deeper soul wisdom.

Wisdom is an advanced and elevated thought form. It arises from a place where there is no active thinking, a place where mind stops its habitual function. In fact, there is no mind anymore. Have you heard of meditation? Do you meditate? For those of you who are used to meditating, this place would be familiar. In this place you do not think; you just let the thoughts come and go like ever drifting clouds on the vast blue sky. In this non-thinking place you connect with the wisdom within.

Does all this sound a bit spooky to you? You are not alone in this. From the time we have started understanding things we have been told that thinking is a master skill. In the Seventeenth century Rene Descretes so profoundly proclaimed, ‘I think, therefore I am.’ We never questioned this proclamation. We resonated with it. Now is the time to question it, because as I mentioned earlier, the times are changing now.

The time has also come to question the very basis of our education. The word ‘education’ is derived from the Latin word ‘educere’. It means to draw out or bring forth. What does our education system do? Does it draw out wisdom from the students? No, instead it tries to fill the students up with information. I do not wish to start a debate on this subject so let us leave it for now. Let us simply accept that we have worshipped ‘thinking’ for far too long.

I am not condemning thinking per se. It certainly has its place. But is it the only tool we have? It is like a tailor using only a pair of scissors, or a carpenter using only a hammer. Where will it get them? They will be able to do some tasks but all their abilities won’t be put to use. The same thing applies to thinking. We have many other faculties besides thoughts. Let us put them to use now.

Actually the fact is that we do use these faculties ‘unthinkingly’. When we day dream, we often tap a deep wisdom by default. Similarly in the moments of confusion wisdom surfaces to reveal an answer or an insight! No amount of thinking could have brought this up. Have you ever experienced a time when you couldn’t remember something even after thinking hard about it? And then suddenly many hours later when you weren’t even thinking about it the memory came back to you in a flash. How does this happen?

Learning how to ‘not- think’ takes some time and practice. It is the same with any unused skill. Non-thought is a feeling as opposed to a word or words. Let me give you an example. A beautiful scene such as a sunrise or a sunset or any other object of beauty often takes your breath away. Take notice, invariably in that moment you are in ‘non-thought’, as though the beauty has also taken your words away.

Yes, breath and thoughts are deeply connected. Try holding your breath for a while. Observe your thoughts while you are holding your breath. Are you surprised to note that you can’t think while you hold your breath?

So, if you wish to derive benefit from this confusion, learn to practice the art of non-thought. Break your addiction to words. Notice your feeling of confusion and instead of struggling to find an answer to this confusion just accept it. Let it be. Don’t analyze it. Be confident that in this fog of confusion lies the path to a deeper ‘knowing’. Expect this ‘knowing’ to help you choose your individual path. Feel the freedom of not knowing and dissecting everything to pieces.

Breathe and feel………..don’t think. During these challenging times your habitual thinking will kill your inner wisdom. Welcome confusion and uncertainty. Let go of your little restrictive view of life.

Discover the truth beyond the circumstances and EXPECT success!

3 P's of Success: Passion, Perseverance, Patience

2009-03-15T16:31:00.002+05:30

Do you know that the earth continuously spins at the rate of 700 to 1,038 miles per hour? That’s quite some spin!! Do you feel this spin? Are you sure you don’t feel it? Just as the earth spins on its axis and we, the people living on earth, don’t feel it, similarly the results of passion, perseverance, and patience are not always felt, at least not immediately.

Through this column, I keep encouraging you to dream, visualize, persevere, and carry on regardless of apparent realities. But the secret to success lies in carrying on, with your own convictions. We may not see the results as we work, but if we remain at it, it is bound to show up. In fact, higher we want to reach on the ladder of success, harder the process will seem. At times it can be very frustrating. Many people give up, before the results become visible. Are you one of those people? I don’t think so. You know how this system works. Don’t you?

Have you ever planted a tree, I mean a sapling? A sapling eventually grows into a tree when you water it regularly, and take care of its other needs. Can you see it growing everyday? I don’t think so. What happens when you don’t water it for a few days? Well, it just dies. Do you get the point? You need to have passion, perseverance, and patience, even for growing a tree; what to talk of ‘growing’ a grown up human being!

Yes, it is natural to feel deflated if you have not cleared any entrance exams, or if you didn’t get an interview call, or worse of all if you couldn’t convert your call into a seat. The way to combat this feeling is to put all your niggling self doubts to rest. Yes, you can do it. Give all your focus and energy to your renewed commitments. Keep re-visiting your original promise to yourself. What was your inspiration to begin with? Remember it now. That passion to invest in yourself will keep you moving forward. Your passion to do well is real. Trust it. Trust yourself. Trust the universe.

If you do that, and keep watering your sapling, you will see that the sapling will form a solid root system (the foundation of your success), soon the branches will form (your support network), and flowers will blossom. Very soon you will enjoy the fruit of this tree: your tree! Yes, the fruit of success does take its own sweet time. So eliminate ‘failure consciousness’, embrace ‘success consciousness’ and get going.

Have you ever wondered what creates ‘failure consciousness’ in the first place? Would you like to know how to step out of it? At times it so happens that we become overly entangled in our ambitions. We get wrapped up in the feeling that we do not have enough (enough money, enough job opportunities, enough growth avenues etc). This thought of ‘lack’ or ‘not enough’ sends stress chemicals to the brain. These chemicals bring about the programmed response of ‘fight or flight’.

The fight response makes you stay on but it puts unnecessary pressure on you; while the flight response makes you give up. Both of these responses don’t really help. So what is the way out? The simplest way out is to eliminate the trigger for these responses. How would you do that? You would do that by changing your thought process.
Negative thoughts deplete your energy. You already know about it. So refocus your attention upon appreciation of all your strengths and a clear evaluation of all the opportunities in your life.

It is very apt to remember what Buddha had said 2,500 years ago, ‘We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.’ This saying holds good even today, in our fast paced competitive world.

With perseverance, you will soon start feeling successful. In any case, the real measure of success does not lie in outward trappings of our world. Your real success lies in the quality and quantity of ‘success feelings’ you experience. If you remain connected to your inner core, which gives birth to your passion and makes you feel good about yourself, there is no reason to feel low. There are many people out there in this wide world, who have all that you dream of, but they do not feel ‘successful’. Patience is the track that will take you towards magnetizing success to you.

Now that you know this secret, be consistent in your efforts. Question your beliefs about success. We all have hidden beliefs that run the show behind the scenes. Say if you have a deep belief that you must work harder in order to be truly successful, then that is exactly what will become your reality.

Go deep inside. Look at your old paradigms. What is it that makes you struggle more, work harder (not smarter), get stressed, and still be less successful? What can you change in your thoughts that will bring about a paradigm shift in your life? What new empowering beliefs can you cultivate?

To begin with, start relaxing more often. Appreciate all that you have in your life. Go and have that special experience, you have always denied yourself. Enjoy your wonderful body and your creative mind (these have been freely given to you). As you learn to feel good about yourself, you will notice that each day of your life will unfold itself in successful ways.

Your outer world is a place where you discover who you are. Your successes or your failures are an exquisite reflection of what is going on ‘within’ you right now. Remember, what you focus upon grows in your life. So keep your focus upon positive thoughts of success, and watch things change in your life.

3 P’s of success: passion, perseverance, and patience must remain your constant companions on this growth path. Are you ready to walk this path with a smile on your lips and hope in your heart?

Change your focus and EXPECT success!

Where is your Focus?

2009-03-14T17:01:00.000+05:30

The New Year has dawned; heralding a new beginning? But where is your focus? Are you celebrating the change or feeling worried and anxious about your future? I have been interacting with many youngsters and there are mixed responses. Some are feeling a kind of release from undue pressures to perform, while some are feeling more pressurized wondering about their social and personal future? Some are wondering if there is any point in pursuing a management program if there are no jobs even after attaining an MBA degree. Which side are you on? Please remember, now more than ever, ‘whatever you focus upon grows in your lives.’

Let us try and put all the recession related anxiety and resultant woes into proper perspective.

I have nothing against media. In fact it plays a major role in our lives. But it also tends to bring an overdose of negativity into our lives. Listening to some doomsday stories, even the most courageous amongst us becomes fearful of future. So may I request you to minimize your news viewing to the bare essentials? In stead read stories of entrepreneurs who didn’t go looking for a job, or chucked their high paying jobs in order to follow their heart. Perhaps it is your time to do that. An MBA degree will come handy in equipping you with the right tools for entrepreneurship. Each one of you will not only employ yourselves, but many others. Does recession stand a chance in face of such determined individuals?

Do not react or defend your stand. Take a good look at the reality. Weigh your options and just follow your heart. There are many positive, wonderful, and loving things out there that you can put your focus upon. Now is the time to ask, ‘What can I do for you?’ to your self and all other significant people in your life. Some of what you undertake now may open new avenues for you. You never know! After all you didn’t even know about recession just four months ago or did you?

Take into account all the wonderful natural talents and innate gifts that you possess. Don’t say you have none. Each one of us is blessed with our unique talents. This is the time to polish them and encash them. Yes, you can do it! You will not only survive; you will flourish, during the recession and far beyond it. Have faith in your self, now more than ever! Focus on the results that you desire and take appropriate, inspired actions to move forward.

Some of you have more free time now. How are you using it? Are you investing it in upgrading your most precious holding- you, yourself? Are you focusing more on your creative talents? Use this time to cultivate new skills. How about developing your intuition? A very important tool in these times!!! An investment in yourself is the best investment in these times of stock market crashes. Ask yourself, ‘What can I do to develop my natural talents in order to use them to make money, help myself and help others?’ The answer will come. Yes, it will.

Investing in yourself will also reduce your anxiety levels. You will stop talking about good times and bad times. All times are ‘opportunity’ times for you. Just because everyone around you is anxious doesn’t mean you need to follow their example. Reduced anxiety will help you stay focused on your long term goals. Show yourself in a new and different way; soon others will also notice your resolve, strength, and happiness. You can do nothing about the outward panic but you can sure calm the panic inside you. Yes, you can!

This is the time to separate the wheat from the chaff. Keep company with people who harbor positive thoughts and positive outlook. Such people will inspire, encourage and support you. Let the birds of a feather flock together and fly out to achieve their dreams.

Take time each day to enjoy yourself. Remember joy begets joy, while sorrow begets sorrow! Look for small things in your daily routine that can make you happy. Celebrate each little ting and enjoy each step forward. This is a sure shot formula to win over these recessionary times.

This is also the time to put your ego aside and ask for help. This help could be in the form of an advice, support, or suggestion. Welcome all help. Ask for it and receive it.

“One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And, the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility."

--Eleanor Roosevelt

Power of Visualization

2008-12-15T18:27:00.000+05:30

If I ask you to think of an apple, what will come to your mind? The word apple as in APPLE or a picture of the fruit called apple. It will be the latter. Yes? It is so because our mind thinks in terms of images, and not literal words. These images are the software that designs our lives. If there was some way to use this power of creation, what would you like to create? What is the upper most thought in your mind right now? Let me take a guess. I think it is to clear CAT and get into one of the topmost management schools; a dream come true. Yes, this dream can come true if you add the element of visualization to your top notch preparation plan. It is the final nail in the coffin (pardon my morbid language, but than the competitive world is about do or die).

What do you understand by this term: visualization? It means seeing through your mind’s eyes. When you think of those horrible thoughts about being in the examination hall, holding the paper, and realizing that you don’t remember a thing. That is visualization. The only thing is that your focus is on the wrong things. We generally focus on things that we do not want in our lives. These are fear-based thoughts that haunt our imaginations. They don’t leave our space even in our dreams. What you must understand is that these scenarios are sabotaging your efforts towards success. So whenever such doomsday thoughts occur to you, just repeat the word cancel three times; cancel, cancel, cancel. It is like pressing the delete button. This cancel mantra works. Try it.

Right! Now that you have taken care of all the negativity bothering you, you need to fill the space vacated by negativity with positive visualizations. Einstein had said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” I am certain that you have taken care of the knowledge part over the past six months or so of your preparation for Cat; now get ready to handle the most important part now i.e. imagination/ visualization. This art takes into account that our mind does not know the difference between an imagined performance and a real performance. Yes, it is a proven fact, and we are going to take advantage of this. Perspiration and imagination both are needed in this most challenging time of your lives and you must use them both to be successful. Leave no stone unturned, as they say. Well, let me show you how to go about it

In this visualization, I would invite you to imagine what you do want, i.e. an admission in an institute of your choice; in great details. Since CAT is looming large. Let us focus on that part first. Since you will need to close your eyes in order to visualize, you may read all the steps before hand or ask someone else to read them out to you, while you follow the steps. Are you ready to embark upon this journey to success? Well….

Get comfortable and close your eyes.
Pay attention to your breathing. As you breathe in and breathe out, feel the relaxation.
Take three deep breaths, and feel yourself relaxing even more deeply.
Now, imagine that you are entering the examination hall with great confidence. There is a smile on your lips and hope in your heart. You are anxious but very very confident. Feel that confidence in your body now. Breathe in this confidence and let it seep into your body cells. Breathe out any negative thoughts that come to you at this point of time.
Now, imagine yourself sitting at your desk in the examination hall. You are very poised and self assured. The examiner has handed over your question paper to you. Say a small prayer of gratitude and align yourself with your purpose (success).
Look at the paper in your hands. Go through the questions. Feel that you know the answers to all the questions. Your confidence is growing. Feel it inside you now.
Start writing the questions after allocating time to each section. Feel that you instinctively now the right answers. Circle the right answer on your OMR sheet with complete confidence (in your mind’s eye).
Imagine that you have completed the paper. You are confident that you have done very well. Breathe in that confidence. Hand over the paper to the invigilator with a smile and walk out of the room confidently (keep imagining).
Meet up with your friends and discuss the paper. Feel your confidence growing as your answers match the correct answers. Feel the excitement in your body. Breathe this excitement in, to assimilate it in your DNA.
Imagine visiting the CAT website for results and seeing that you have got more than 99 percentile (choose whatever number you want).
Imagine receiving an interview call from your favorite institute.
Use all your senses, your thoughts, and your feelings to imagine this experience.
How are your parents and your friends reacting to this news? How are you reacting? Feel it all right now. Celebrate your success in your mind. Today is the day when ordinary becomes extraordinary. It is a day where anything is possible. Enjoy your glorious moment.
Let yourself experience all this as though it has already manifested in your reality. Savor the experience.
And last but not the least, when you are completely in the experience, detach from it. Yes, that’s right. Just let the desire go. As the saying goes, let go and let God. To be attached to your desires means that you are fearful about them materializing. So detach, detach, detach, let go.
When you are ready, open your eyes, and come back to your regular consciousness: relaxed, refreshed, and ready for what comes next.

If you have been preparing for the D-day to the best of your ability, if your life purpose is clear to you, if you are passionate about doing an MBA then this visualization technique will manifest all that you desire in your life. You can visualize similar steps for clearing GD, PI and converting your call. In fact you can use visualization to attract anything into your reality. Yes, ANYTHING. When you send clear pictorial messages to the Universe, it lines up with your intention and commitment.

Visualization brings you in alignment with your goal and makes you commit to it. Someone has very rightly said, “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy. The chance to draw back! The moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. All kinds of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from this one decision (to use visualization) that you wouldn’t have dreamt will come your way.”

All the best for the D-day! EXPECT success.

Success Sutras

2008-10-18T18:38:00.000+05:30

What is the most common cause for failure? In my experience, there are many such causes. There is no point in discussing the causes, without looking at the cure. After all we do not need to understand how we can fail; we need to understand how we can succeed. So let us take a close look at some remedies for some of these causes.

Be Decisive

Lack of decision heads the list of thirty odd major causes of failure. This is a common enemy that each one of us must conquer. If you study all the successful people (past and present) in this world, you will realize that every one of them had/has the habit of reaching decisions promptly, and changing these decisions slowly (if they do need to be changed at all). Unsuccessful people on the other hand reach decisions slowly, and change them very quickly and often.

Unsuccessful people are easily influenced by the opinions of others. They let the newspapers and gossiping neighbours do the thinking for them. If you analyze people, you realize that every one has a whole lot of opinions to be wished upon any one ready to listen to them. In fact opinions are the cheapest commodities on earth. If you are the type who gets influenced by opinions while reaching a decision, you can bid good bye to success.

Improve your memory

A good memory really helps in being successful. There are many fun ways to sharpen, exercise and develop your memory, just as you develop your muscles! These are:

Every night before you fall asleep, try and recall all that you did and saw during the day. Try to remember the names of all the people that you met during the day. Try to recall their addresses.
Improve your power of observation. A great exercise to do this is in a shopping mall! Look at a store window for a while, now walk away, and write down the names of as many objects as you can recall. This method is very convenient and effective for improving your power of observation.

Develop the ability to concentrate. Make an effort to concentrate on your reading. Try to read as rapidly as possible. Choose a quiet environment to read where you are not distracted by noise or interruptions. Avoid fidgeting while reading. Light reading is fun, but reading of serious articles and books help develop your power of concentration much more effectively.
Close your eyes and picture words, names, and numbers that you especially want to remember. It helps if you speak these out aloud.
When you are introduced to someone, repeat the name several times in your mind. Use it as many times in your conversation as appropriate.
Word, name, place, or object associations work well for some people. In this process you memorize by associating a person with something similar or contrasting.

Learn better and faster

· Discard all limiting beliefs about your capacity to learn. If you think that you are a slow learner than that will become your truth.
· Relax so that the information is well absorbed. When we are relaxed we use our entire brain for learning, thus learning faster.
· Create a mental map of what is to be learned. Mental mapping is a great learning tool.
· Read your passages aloud in a dramatic tone. This not only makes learning fun, but helps you absorb material better.
· Listen to some calming music. It works on certain brain areas that influence learning.
· Make learning fun by making a game out of it. This re-activates your child-like ability to learn effortlessly.

Boost your Confidence

Self confidence is one commodity that puts you out there, shines a spotlight on you, and helps you astound the world with your presence. People brimming with self-esteem are the ‘lucky’ guys; but what about those people who still need to figure out a way to develop this wonderful skill.

You must understand that developing self-esteem is no mystical deed. It is not something that has been programmed into your DNA by birth. Self- confidence can easily be cultivated, if you so desire and intend. The cool colleague you so admire at work, has not necessarily inherited this trait. In all likelihood he had to work hard to overcome his shy demeanor, before becoming a self assured ‘dude’.

Knowing your strengths makes you feel worthwhile and boosts your confidence level. So get up and assess yourself. Ask yourself, ‘Who are you?’, and ‘Where exactly are you in life?’ Be honest and brave to take a good look at yourself, but do not berate yourself. Be self disciplined. Analyze your inner critic. Silence him. Don’t let that inner voice tell you that you are not good enough. Don’t ever believe that others are better than you. Pay attention to those thoughts that cheer you up. Pay attention to those thoughts that tell you how good you are. Never focus on your negative aspects. Remember that whatever you focus on, grows in your life. So be careful of what you focus upon. For example if you want to clear CAT, ‘see’ yourself scoring 99 percentile, and hear people congratulating you on your success. Feel confident and excited about your success

Never let yourself be overcome with despair. Use each opportunity to determine ways of improving yourself. Take stock of all your achievements. What have you achieved in life? What are you good at? What talents do you have? What are your special skills? Be proud of your fine qualities and hone them.

Are you afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and appearing awkward? Are you the type who hangs back from the rest of the crowd? If you are a shy person, you need to overcome that. You prevent people from seeing the ‘real’ you if you let shyness prevail. You need not dominate conversations and hog all the attention; all you need to do is ‘speak up’. Show respect, empathy, and recognition to others. Come out of your shell and learn to be alert. Interact with people. Be open.

St. Francis of Assisi had said, ‘Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly….. you are doing the impossible.’

Do the impossible, and EXPECT success.

Believe to Succeed

2008-10-05T16:29:00.000+05:30

I am certain that anyone who can ‘think’ harbours a sincere desire to succeed. Each one of us wants to succeed in whatever we do. We want all our endeavours to be ‘successful’. Wow! The very thought of success raises my vibrations. Do you feel them too? No one, I repeat no one ever wishes to deliberately fail at anything. (Although the onlookers might feel that way about some people!)

Now the question arises that if everyone wants to succeed, why don’t they do so? What stops them? There must be umpteen answers to this question, but after interacting with a large number of people I have come to believe that the answer to the seven lettered word ‘success’, lies in another seven lettered word ‘believe’. Most people do not ‘believe’ that they can win. Losers certainly do not believe that they can make it. What stops them from believing in success? Is it something as common as repeated failures? Do you see a pattern here? More we succeed, more we start believing in success; it is as simple as that.

You must have heard this famous dictum, ‘All things are possible for those who believe.’ Are you one of those who believe in success? Those who face difficulties in being successful should listen to American psychologist and philosopher William James, who said, “Believe and your belief will create the fact.”

What determines our belief system? Mostly it is based upon our evaluation of something. We wish to clear CAT, but keep telling ourselves, ‘It is not easy to crack CAT. I don’t think I will be able to do it.’ Generally when we re-evaluate the situation, our belief about that situation changes. Try telling yourself, “Fine, CAT is a tough exam. It is meant to be tough to separate the chaff from the wheat. But I am doing my best. The other aspirants too are like me. We all have an equal chance of winning. When I put in my best, I get to join the best institute.’ Does it feel any better? Does it make you believe in success? For a while at least, it does. If you keep thinking these thoughts along with your sincere preparation, what do you think will be the result? Yes, SUCCESS.

Most of us waste our lives, not trying to accomplish anything of value because we don’t believe in ourselves. We hardly know anything about our true potential. Once we start re-evaluating ourselves, we begin to understand our marvelous mind and its possibilities. More you learn about yourself and your magnificence the more you will start believing in yourself. You will see marvelous things happening to you. There is a sleeping giant inside you. It is time to wake it out of its slumber. It is time to either create or disintegrate. It is time to believe in yourself.

If you do not believe in success, you stop growing and start rusting away. There is a tremendous life force inside you that is pushing you for greater expression and expansion. If you do not use this life force you will begin to shut down. On the other hand if you believe in this life force and co-operate with it, you will become a powerful success magnet.

Who hasn’t heard of Sir Edmund Hillary? When he failed in his first attempt to climb the Mount Everest, he shook his fist at a picture of the unconquerable mountain and said, “Mount Everest, you beat me once but I’ll beat you eventually, because you’ve grown all you’re going to grow…..but I am still growing.” What faith, what confidence, what belief!!! Can we match his conviction? If we can, we can succeed at just about anything we set out to do.

Look at the challenge in front of you. Now you have two choices. Either you slink off to hide in a corner or you see this as an opportunity to transcend all your past limitations, and succeed. Be grateful for this Mount Everest of all exams: the CAT. This is an invitation from the Universe to help you grow and stretch into a great expression of your true magnificence. This exam is a blessing in disguise. Use it. Be grateful for it.

Try believing in yourself. See how it feels. Can you make your dream come true? Do you carry that burning desire to succeed? Desire your success with all of your heart and manifest it in your reality. Have you read ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne? Do you believe in Law of Attraction? Besides belief, the burning desire to achieve success will ignite a fire within you that will attract success to you with an incredible force.

Most MBA aspirants take CAT because they think that their life will get better with an MBA from a premier institute; but inside of them they do not have that intense desire for an IIM admission. When you fail to mix your belief in success with an intense desire to succeed, you send a message to the Universe that it is not something that you really want.

When your heart is on fire with the desire to succeed, you will attract all the right things. Right opportunities, right preparation material, right faculty, right study group etc! You will find it easy to believe in success. Visualizing a favorable outcome will become your second nature. It will become effortless to think success thoughts. You will attract all the qualities that you need to succeed: Courage, belief, persistence, hard work, easy assimilation of facts, quick recall, and a powerful will to win.

An intense desire coupled with belief will light up your complete being. It will produce a great magnetic force that will enable the law of attraction to remove every possible obstacle from your path and make your dreams come true. So don’t cheat yourself by not believing in yourself. Don’t listen to people who say, “Aren’t IIMs hard to get into? Don’t you have to be really smart to crack CAT?” Don’t let anyone sway your belief in your dreams. Continue imagining and feeling success.

In these chaotic times that are filled with confusing messages from a great number of competitors, learn to ignore the nay-sayers. Perceive yourself as the best; have faith in your abilities and use our talents to your best advantage.

Control your own perception of yourself, and EXPECT success.

How to overcome preparation blues?

2008-09-30T19:04:00.001+05:30

Less than two months are left for the D-day to dawn. Every MBA aspirant is beginning to get the jitters; after all cracking the CAT is no child’s play. But does it really need to be like this? Do you really need to get into these preparation blues at this stage? No, no way. Let us just get out of this crap-trap and fasten our boot straps. Here is how.

Preparation is not only about studying for long hours; there are many other supporting factors that enhance your learning.

Health:

If you keep sitting in a place for a long time, while studying, please move your legs a bit. Shake a leg as the saying goes. It gets your blood flowing which helps sharpen your concentration and recall.
If you are in the habit of skipping breakfast, think again. Creativity is often at its peak in the morning, eating ‘protein’ laden breakfast helps feed your brain cells. If you suffer from frequent headaches, please check the amount of protein in your diet.
Never, ever, eat a heavy lunch. It makes you feel drowsy. You can lose precious productive hours this way.
Stress of any kind inhibits your ability to absorb and recall information. This inhibits learning. Sometimes just absorbing some sunlight and reducing refined foods in your diet, helps reduce stress. Taking a short walk around the neighbourhood may help. Taking a 15 minutes break every hour during study sessions is more beneficial than non-stop studying. These breaks help your mind to relax and absorb information.
Whenever you feel tired or stressed out go take a shower. Water is a universal solvent; it dissolves all your negativity and washes it away, leaving you freshened and loosened.
Laugh often. Laughing relaxes your body and a relaxed body is more receptive to ideas.
Play video games to relax. Video games can be an effective aid in learning.

Perspective and Focus:

Alternate between studying Verbal and Quant. This change of subject focus helps in better assimilation of both.
Use all three ways of learning: visual, kinesthetic, and auditory. Involving all your senses in learning make for a much better absorption and recall.
Learn meditation and meditate for about 15 minutes everyday to tap into your inner resources, and strengthen your ability to focus. Walking meditation is a very useful tool.
Focus on what you are studying. Don’t get distracted. Don’t try to watch TV at the same time, and don’t worry about other things while studying. Anxiety is best avoided. If you take three deep breaths every now and then, you will feel relaxed.
Read as much as you can. Give a breadth of topics as well as depth.
Give yourself deadlines; limit your time for learning some concept in that given time. By learning to constrain yourself, you will achieve more in less time.
Plan your learning. As Led Zeppelin says, “There are two paths you can go by. You can take a haphazard approach to learning, or you can put in a bit of planning and find an optimum path.” Plan your time and balance your learning.
Learning happens in layers. So build your base knowledge first upon which you can build advanced concepts.

Recall techniques:

Efficient Speed reading helps in filtering out a lot of irrelevant information.
Using acronyms and mnemonics helps remember information.
Use visual aids. Draw or sketch what you are trying to remember.
Use mind maps to see the relationship between different ideas.
Brainstorm with your friends. Brainstorming involves verbal activity, writing, and collaboration with your friends. Don’t shut any idea out. It will help you assess your own level of preparation.
Use various symbols for learning. Create your own particular symbols.
Organize your thoughts on what needs to be done for each day.
Loosen yourself up through playing rhyming games and uttering non-sensical words from time to time. It also stimulates ideas.
Learn by osmosis. Record some important lessons in your own voice and playback these lessons whenever you want to.
Writing notes by hand stimulates ideas. The same does not happen while typing your notes. The simple act of holding a pen or pencil in your hand massages acupuncture points which in turn stimulate ideas.
Organize your notes by using sticky color tabs to partition chapters for easy referral.
Revisit complex concepts in order to fully absorb them. Repeating and revising improves absorption and speeds up learning.
Collaborate with others. Form study groups.
Quiz yourself. Test what you have learnt to re-enforce the information.
Create an FAQ and write everything you know about a topic. You can even create a blog about a topic.
Learn critical thinking. Critical thinking takes your learning ability to a whole new level. It involves good analytical skills to help the ability to learn selectively.
Learn complex problem solving. Learning is part of this process.
Ask questions to yourself. Make your learning interactive, with your friends.

Self motivation techniques:

Give credit to yourself for each day’s learning.
Focus on the result that you want to achieve.
W. Clement Stone once said, “Whatever the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” Believe in this dictum. If you keep your mind focused on this saying, hurdles will seem surmountable.
Think positive. Have faith in your abilities to achieve your goal.
Organize your time well. Make your ‘to do’ list and prioritize the tasks.
Remember that if someone else can do it, so can you. Believe in your infinite potential.
Before you start working on a topic, decide what you already know and figure out what you don’t know. Then learn the later.
Multitask. Multitasking helps in time management.
Think holistically. It is a mindset, so develop it.
Remember that 80% of the concepts take 20% of your time and effort to learn, while 20% of the concepts take 80% of your time and effort. Recognize and ascertain which ones are which.
Challenge yourself. Put yourself through tough assignments. People are often more intelligent than they realize. There is more to you than you take credit for. In a world that compartmentalizes and categorizes everything, most people are not too sure where they ft in.
Teach others. The best way to learn something is by teaching it to someone else. Teaching forces you to learn. Sharing your knowledge is the best way to gain more knowledge.
Persistence always pays. Don’t give up. Anything one human being can learn, most others can learn as well. Einstein had said, “Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.”
Remember there is more than a new way to learn. Never believe that you can’t learn.
Relax, don’t worry, and stay happy.

As always EXPECT success!

Newspapers prepare you for CAT

2008-08-04T09:24:00.001+05:30

As a CAT aspirant there is one advice that you consistently hear from all and sundry; and that is about reading newspapers regularly. Whether anyone has any idea about CAT or not, s/he knows that reading a newspaper is very important for clearing any competitive exam.

The basic idea behind this advice is that you need to stay abreast with the happenings in local, regional, national and international arenas. But besides all this, what makes reading the newspaper absolutely essential is ------ the default benefit of developing our Reading Comprehension and Reasoning Ability skills.

Francis Bacon once wrote, ‘Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.’ A good newspaper does all these. It plays wonders as far as promotion of reading skills is concerned. The poorest reader can find ideas from pictures, captions and advertisements that add to his knowledge of the world and make it possible to bring his reading experience into play. Superior readers find an unlimited ceiling in the newspaper; columnists and editorials offer ideas that are provocative and challenging. In developing mature readers the newspaper has great potential.

Let’s examine how you can use the humble newspaper to your advantage.

Use the newspaper for increasing the Word Power

By the very nature of its language, the newspaper displays a vocabulary, which is simple, vital and yet commonplace; but you also come across a number of new and unfamiliar words. Circle these words. (On different days, you can choose a different page of the newspaper to do this exercise.) Consult a dictionary and note down the meanings of these circled words. You can initiate some interesting activities with these words ---

- Prepare vocabulary booklets. Arrange the words in alphabetic order; learn them and use them in conversation and writing wherever appropriate.
- Prepare vocabulary cards with the word on one side; and the dictionary meaning along with the newspaper sentence using the word, on the other side.
- Prepare word games by writing all the words that rhyme with a chosen word. To increase the fun you can use only those rhyming words that you can find in the newspaper. (I can hear some of you whining, ‘wish we had that much time to spare!’)
- Prepare word games using the synonyms and / or antonyms for a chosen word.
- Find one root word from your vocabulary booklet and make two more words, one using a prefix and the other using a suffix.

Use the newspaper for improving Eye-Span

A wider eye span helps in efficient reading. If you feed your eyes piecemeal, they in turn feed your mind piecemeal, and the result is a fragmentary thought pattern which is difficult to synthesize into an integrated whole.

Newspaper columns are so narrow that you can begin with reading each line with no more than two fixations. Gradually with little practice you will be able to read a newspaper line in just one fixation.

See the middle word of each line of the print, down the column. Train your eyes to activate your peripheral vision by seeing the words on either side, through the corners of your eyes. This may not be an easy exercise in the beginning but just 15 days of practice, for 10 minutes a day, will increase your eye span.

Use the newspaper for increasing your reading speed

Make use of simple articles and interesting news items for increasing reading speed. Time your reading of a passage, and try to read the same passage in lesser time, next time.

Keep a check on lip movement and sub-vocalization. These habits hamper your reading speed.

Use the newspaper for learning Skimming and Scanning skills

Skimming is used for getting the bird’s eye view of the printed matter. You can get a comprehensive idea of a regular newspaper’s content in just 3 minutes. (This will be good news to all the souls short on time!) This can be done by skimming the front-page headlines, the main headings on the rest of the pages and a few relevant details in the body.

Scanning is done to locate some material quickly. You should use ‘the inverted-Pyramid approach’ for this. In a newspaper the heading follows a full sentence regarding the incident and then the details about it.

Use the newspaper to learn flexibility in reading

Flexibility in reading can be achieved by shifting gears constantly. You should vary your reading speed according to the purpose at hand.

- ‘Skimming’ is the fastest rate of reading. It includes reading selectively for specific purposes such as finding a reference, locating material or reviewing material already read. While skimming, it may be desirous at times to skip material or slow down to other rates.
- ‘Rapid reading’ is the rate at which material is read for pleasure or relaxation. Familiar material is reviewed and information is obtained for temporary use.
- A ‘normal rate’ is used to find answers to specific questions, to solve a problem, or to read material of average difficulty.
- To master the main idea and pertinent details a ‘careful rate’ of reading is used. At this slow rate material can be evaluated; details in sequence can be noted, outlined and summarised. Material with unusual vocabulary or style needs to be read carefully

Use the newspaper for Critical Reading

Cartoons make good material for critical reading. You can initiate an interesting debate in determining why a cartoonist expressed himself in the way he did.

An editorial page is an excellent place to try to discern the motive behind the writing. The editorial writer’s aim may be to convince, to interpret, to inform, or to amuse. At times he may just comment on the weather or a holiday. Most of the well-written editorials always present a rational argument. Their arguments begin with certain premises, consider the relevant facts and draw the conclusions that seem logically to follow.

However, there are pros and cons for most topics and room for different opinions. You should be able to distinguish facts from opinions; classify ideas; compare and contrast views; see cause and effect relationships; draw conclusions and weigh validity of facts & generalizations.

Comprehension skills are improved when you read regularly and extensively.

So what are you waiting for? Use the news, go grab a newspaper!

How average guys can crack CAT?

2008-08-02T15:03:00.001+05:30

Are you an average guy? Do you dream of cracking CAT and zoom on the highway to success? Do you think you can do it? Well, let me show you how you can do it. CAT is after all an exam that turns all the tigers into pussycats!!

The biggest fear about taking CAT is just that …. A fear of the unknown! If you can tackle this fear half your battle is won. What are you so fearful about? It is just another exam? Or is it? It has been over-hyped just because a whole lot of people seem to be out there competing with you for those paltry seats. If you remove this fear of competing against the very best, and concentrate on bringing out the very best in you, you are almost there. Yes, almost but not quite.

To really get there you need to do an honest check of your strengths and your weaknesses. I am not speaking of your physical strength here. I am more concerned about your strengths in verbal and quantitative skills, and if you are serious about cracking CAT, you should pay serious attention to them.

There are no set formulas for cracking CAT. You speak to fifty successful candidates and each one will tell you a different story. What does this mean to you? It means that you should follow your own path to success. Listen to everyone. Learn from all, but make your own strategies and follow them to a T.

Students often ask me when is the right time to start preparing for CAT. My answer invariably is: the right time is right now. If you have decided to take CAT, what stops you from preparing for it? There is no right time like the present time. The verbal ability section demands a good grasp of grammar, vocabulary, and comprehension. The Quant section wants you to understand numbers, their play and its application. The GD looks for your interpersonal, communication, and team skills. The PI is concerned about your knowledge of your self. It is as simple as that. Put in this manner it does not seem like the Herculean task it is made out to be. It actually isn’t.

So, if you have been diligent about your grammar exercises, have been reading books, understanding the basic math formulae, discussing your point of view with your friends and family, taking interest in the national and international affairs, and knowing exactly what you want from life….. Nothing can stop you from cracking the CAT.

The problem is that you have not been doing these things. Perhaps you have not been doing most of these things or all of these things. In that case, you need to start right now. There is not a moment to lose. You can not put your dreams on hold, just because you did not wake up in time. Now is as good a time as ever.

First of all start reading. You may ask, ‘reading what?’ My answer is, reading anything that interests you. When we are interested in something, we do it to the best of our capability, and that is always a good point to start from. Later as you become comfortable with the idea of reading, you should start reading newspapers (The Hindu is the best paper in India today. No other paper can match the quality of its language. Even their news perspective is very unbiased.), magazines (The Economist is the best magazine to read. You can read most of its articles online as well.), and books (by Richard Bach, Ayn Rand, Paulo Coelho, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Emile Zola, Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoevsky, George Orwell Hermann Hesse, Salman Rushdie, Daphne Du Maurier, Nietzsche, J. Krishnamurthy etc). Taking a membership of a library really helps. E- Version of many books can be downloaded from the internet as well. I am told that many such books are exchanged on the Orkut communities.

All this reading will help you in improving your vocabulary, and comprehending implied meanings. For grammar, there is no book that can beat good old Wren and Martin. If you go through this book a couple of times, the grammar section of CAT will not haunt you anymore.

Start re-visiting your school math books. NCERT books for class VIII, IX, and X are invaluable in understanding Geometry. It is a fact that the CAT questions in Geometry are at NCERT level. A wonderful book for Algebra is Hall and Knight Higher Algebra. Quantitative Aptitude for CAT by Pradeep Pandey is also a very good book for quant preparation. Once you are comfortable with the basics, start practicing CAT questions. Take help of Vedic Math. It may seem daunting at first but it is a fun way of learning math. Give it a try. Many successful people swear by its efficacy.

If you are still a student, start improving your academic performance. It is becoming increasingly important to be able to boast of a consistent performance. As you know every bit eventually counts on the D-day. Remember, it is never too late to start performing well.

The other question that is invariably asked is how much time to devote for preparation of each section. Again there is no one answer to this question because a lot depends upon your comfort level with each section. Generally, if you study for four hours everyday, devote two hours to quant, one hour to verbal, and one hour to DI. Your general reading and discussion time is not included in these four hours. It is best to study all three sections everyday so that your preparation is more balanced. In any case your real study time is only till August. After that SIMCATS would start and your preparation planning would change as per your performance analysis.

And finally, have confidence in your dreams. If you are given these dreams, you are also given the where withal to achieve them. So carry on……….Expect SUCCESS.

How average guys can crack CAT?

2008-06-26T20:51:00.000+05:30

Are you an average guy? Do you dream of cracking CAT and zoom on the highway to success? Do you think you can do it? Well, let me show you how you can do it. CAT is after all an exam that turns all the tigers into pussycats!!

The biggest fear about taking CAT is just that …. A fear of the unknown! If you can tackle this fear half your battle is won. What are you so fearful about? It is just another exam? Or is it? It has been over-hyped just because a whole lot of people seem to be out there competing with you for those paltry seats. If you remove this fear of competing against the very best, and concentrate on bringing out the very best in you, you are almost there. Yes, almost but not quite.

To really get there you need to do an honest check of your strengths and your weaknesses. I am not speaking of your physical strength here. I am more concerned about your strengths in verbal and quantitative skills, and if you are serious about cracking CAT, you should pay serious attention to them.

There are no set formulas for cracking CAT. You speak to fifty successful candidates and each one will tell you a different story. What does this mean to you? It means that you should follow your own path to success. Listen to everyone. Learn from all, but make your own strategies and follow them to a T.

Students often ask me when is the right time to start preparing for CAT. My answer invariably is: the right time is right now. If you have decided to take CAT, what stops you from preparing for it? There is no right time like the present time. The verbal ability section demands a good grasp of grammar, vocabulary, and comprehension. The Quant section wants you to understand numbers, their play and its application. The GD looks for your interpersonal, communication, and team skills. The PI is concerned about your knowledge of your self. It is as simple as that. Put in this manner it does not seem like the Herculean task it is made out to be. It actually isn’t.

So, if you have been diligent about your grammar exercises, have been reading books, understanding the basic math formulae, discussing your point of view with your friends and family, taking interest in the national and international affairs, and knowing exactly what you want from life….. Nothing can stop you from cracking the CAT.

The problem is that you have not been doing these things. Perhaps you have not been doing most of these things or all of these things. In that case, you need to start right now. There is not a moment to lose. You can not put your dreams on hold, just because you did not wake up in time. Now is as good a time as ever.

First of all start reading. You may ask, ‘reading what?’ My answer is, reading anything that interests you. When we are interested in something, we do it to the best of our capability, and that is always a good point to start from. Later as you become comfortable with the idea of reading, you should start reading newspapers (The Hindu is the best paper in India today. No other paper can match the quality of its language. Even their news perspective is very unbiased.), magazines (The Economist is the best magazine to read. You can read most of its articles online as well.), and books (by Richard Bach, Ayn Rand, Paulo Coelho, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Emile Zola, Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoevsky, George Orwell Hermann Hesse, Salman Rushdie, Daphne Du Maurier, Nietzsche, J. Krishnamurthy etc). Taking a membership of a library really helps. E- Version of many books can be downloaded from the internet as well. I am told that many such books are exchanged on the Orkut communities.

All this reading will help you in improving your vocabulary, and comprehending implied meanings. For grammar, there is no book that can beat good old Wren and Martin. If you go through this book a couple of times, the grammar section of CAT will not haunt you anymore.

Start re-visiting your school math books. NCERT books for class VIII, IX, and X are invaluable in understanding Geometry. It is a fact that the CAT questions in Geometry are at NCERT level. IMS quant material is very good for the number system. A wonderful book for Algebra is Hall and Knight Higher Algebra. Quantitative Aptitude for CAT by Pradeep Pandey is also a very good book for quant preparation. Once you are comfortable with the basics, start practicing CAT questions. Take help of Vedic Math. It may seem daunting at first but it is a fun way of learning math. Give it a try. Many successful people swear by its efficacy.

If you are still a student, start improving your academic performance. It is becoming increasingly important to be able to boast of a consistent performance. As you know every bit eventually counts on the D-day. Remember, it is never too late to start performing well.

The other question that is invariably asked is how much time to devote for preparation of each section. Again there is no one answer to this question because a lot depends upon your comfort level with each section. Generally, if you study for four hours everyday, devote two hours to quant, one hour to verbal, and one hour to DI. Your general reading and discussion time is not included in these four hours. It is best to study all three sections everyday so that your preparation is more balanced. In any case your real study time is only till August. After that SIMCATS would start and your preparation planning would change as per your performance analysis.

And finally, have confidence in your dreams. If you are given these dreams, you are also given the where withal to achieve them. So carry on……….Expect SUCCESS.

Strengthen your Strengths

2008-06-10T17:54:00.000+05:30

Close your eyes and imagine yourself walking into a room. Here you meet the ‘you’ of ten years from now. How does this person look? What is he wearing? Where does he live? What kind of lifestyle does he lead? What car does he drive? What does he do? Is he an entrepreneur or a business executive? How successful is he? What is his net worth? Go ahead, ask him these questions and let your inner-self answer you.

If you were given only three choices about the ‘you of the future’, which one would you choose?

a) Someone worse than what you are now. Not doing well in life, depressed, and broke.
b) Exactly how you are now. Absolutely no change in your position and finances.
c) A far more successful, happier, wealthier version of the present you.

Anyone with an iota of confidence will choose the third option. Of course you can’t be worse off than you are today, nor can you remain static; so the only option left is to move forward. Now how much forward you move, depends entirely on how well you use your unique strengths.
The other day I was reading a forwarded mail, which contained Mr. Azim Premji’s famous speech on what he has learnt during the course of his stupendously successful life. I love this speech and never tire of quoting from it. According to Mr. Premji, we must always begin with our strengths. To illustrate his point he tells this story of an imaginary rabbit. This rabbit was enrolled in a rabbit school. Like all rabbits, it could hop very well but could not swim. At the end of the year, the rabbit got high marks in hopping but failed in swimming. The parents were concerned. They said, "Forget about hopping. You are anyway good at it. Concentrate on swimming." They sent the rabbit for tuitions in swimming. And guess what happened? The rabbit forgot how to hop! As for swimming, have you ever seen a rabbit swim?
This story sums up the thrust of our focus not only in preparing for MBA entrance exams, or while writing the exams, but also at every step in our lives. Because as Mr. Premji says, “While it is important for us to know what we are not good at, we must also cherish what is good in us. That is because it is only our strengths that can give us the energy to correct our weaknesses.”
So with this beautiful lesson in mind, ask yourself some more questions now:

What are my strengths?
How can I build them up further?
How can I use my strengths to correct my weaknesses?
Am I using my strengths on a daily basis?
If not, then how can I use my strengths for test preparation, at work, and in life for a bigger purpose?
What is my bigger purpose?

These questions will lead you to do some soul searching, and the answers that you get will lead you on the path to success. When you sincerely ask yourself, “Why is my life not the way I want it to be?” the only answer you will get is that you are not using your strengths to the fullest. We all have our strengths: strength of purpose, strength of conviction, strength of character, the ability to work hard, the ability to learn easily, the ability to apply what we learn and so on…. You need to identify your strengths. For the purpose of taking CAT, you can think of strength in terms of your subject matter. Are you good at vocabulary? Is grammar your strong point or is it the critical reasoning? What about comprehension? Do you enjoy reading? How good are your logical skills? What about data interpretation? Do you work better under pressure? How quick are you in solving quantitative problems? Are your basic fundas clear? Do you speak well and confidently? Are you clear about your aspirations? Do you carry yourself well? Are you in tune with the world affairs? Honest answers to these questions will give you a list of your strengths.

When do you feel most energized and happiest? These must be the times when you are doing what you love to do. Think of those times. What are the strengths that you bank upon or exhibit during these times? Be proud of those, and think of new ways to incorporate these abilities into other areas of your life. Using your strengths strengthen them. As they say, “Use it or lose it”. This applies to everything in our lives.

I believe that all of us carry strengths inside us that are waiting to be identified, revealed, and expressed. Your strengths have been given to you to contribute in your progress, to make an impact in your life. You are meant to use your strengths in a constructive way, in order to build your future. Once you realize this truth and take action you will not only energize your own self, but your entire environment.

You need to dream big, but just dreams are not enough; you need to develop the habits of a winner. By a ‘winner’ I mean someone who, by his own definition of winning and losing, is pulling ahead of the game and achieving what he set out to achieve. Wining is not about just working hard, it is about maintaining or losing motivation.

So, psyche yourself about achieving your goal. Know that you just have to do it this time. Get ready, follow your plan of working on your strengths, and stay determined. You already have a picture of where you want to be in about ten years time, so just take off! Don’t get distracted by life, make your life an ally. Don’t lose focus. Review your goal each day, several times a day. Concentrate on ‘what’ you need to be doing and ‘when’ you need to be doing it.

You deserve to achieve your goals, and once you optimize your strengths, your goals are as good as achieved!

As always, EXPECT success!!

Advanc’edge MBA, June 2008

Give and take

2008-05-29T09:26:00.000+05:30

‘Give more in use value than you take in cash value’, these value-loaded words by Wallace Wattles are a golden advice for anyone looking for progress in life. What Mr. Wattles understood and wants us to understand is the fact that there is value in giving to others much more than they expect from us. Do we always follow this dictum? I doubt it. Because if we did, we would have all been ‘successful’!

There is this corporate truth that the companies pay just enough to an employee so that he won’t quit, and the employee works just enough so that he/she won’t be shown the pink slip. Hence each one is contributing, just enough, while they are capable of contributing so much more. Giving just enough and that too with strings attached only keeps you in a constant state of fear (fear of being found out), and lack (what will I do if I am thrown out of this job?).

Doing a job to the best of your capability brings feelings of ‘joy of learning’, ‘enthusiasm of stretching your limits’, and the ‘satisfaction of a job well done’! You’ve got to experience it to believe it! When you start bringing more value to your work regardless of your pay, you get noticed by all. When you more than fill your present place (post), it is time to move to a bigger place. All this happens almost automatically! You become just a witness to your own growth. If you look around, you can find live examples of this in your own organization. What is it that they do differently from others?

If you bring value and enthusiasm to your work, the Universe will conspire to bring success to you. You may get a raise, or unexpected good news. You might even attract the attention of someone who will hire you at a much better position. Because people who add value to their work are welcome everywhere! I admire people who deal with grumpy complaining customers the entire day, and still have the joy and enthusiasm to share with others. When you give more value than the money you receive, the money has to rise to come to level with you. There is no other way to progress in life, than to add value to your work.

Most people contribute the very minimal to their jobs. They are the first ones to leave the office when their time is up. They never show any initiative. And then they wonder why they don’t get promoted. It is not only the number of hours that you put up at work, but also the quality of work that you do in those hours. If you fill those hours with creativity, diligence, enthusiasm, learning, and initiative; sky is the limit for you!

You can offer value in many ways. You can give suggestions about how to make your company more profitable. You can inspire others by your efficiency and speed of accomplishment. You can pay attention to details, and you can go an extra mile in a crisis. If your heart is in your work, all this and much more is possible. The idea is to create worthiness around you. How you manage it is up to you! Are you willing to give it a try in your life?

An enthusiastic performer has a strong sense of purpose and deep values. He also has a compelling vision. He makes informed choices with clarity of thought. He is committed to open communication and new ideas. He shares his thoughts, opinions and feelings without fear. He adapts to changing conditions like a pro. He enjoys high self esteem, and his morale is always high. Can any one ever contain such a man? He is unstoppable. He is a winner for life. Are you prepared to be just such a man? If yes, then from now on start giving more in ‘use’ value, than you receive in ‘cash’ value. And witness the magic work in your life!!!

What Motivates You?

2008-05-10T10:17:00.001+05:30

In my capacity as a ‘Life Skills Coach’, I often ask people what motivates them to achieve success in life. Over the years I have realized that while extrinsic factors like money, opportunities for growth, better lifestyle, being a leader are on top of most people’s lists, the moment I dig a little deeper, a lot of intrinsic factors come up. Sometimes people themselves are not aware of these motivators themselves. It is quite a revelation to them, and to me. I now understand that a big piece of our motivation is based on our character and our personality. Whether we like it or not, the fact remains that we are who we are.

It is a well known fact that our personality gets fully formed by the time we are seven years old. This personality remains stable under all our outward façade. This consistency in our personality is a boon for us to understand our motivating factors. If we can analyze our personality traits, we can know what really motivates us. Does it sound too good to be true? Well, it is true.

What do we mean by motivation in the first place? Everyone right from our parents, teachers, professors, and managers speaks of motivation, but no one really explains what motivation is and how it works. In my understanding, motivation levels out to wanting something to be better than what is. It is the reason for engaging in a particular behaviour. It energizes, and mobilizes us towards achieving our lofty goals, and satisfying our needs. We need to be motivated for everything; from eating healthy foods to improving self-esteem. Nothing seems to work without motivation.

Motivation is what leads people to work hard. It is what drives people to improve inter- personal relationships. On the other extreme, a lack of motivation leads to carelessness and callousness. Motivation impacts performance in all spheres of our lives. Some people go to the extent of defining performance as a function of one’s ability and motivation levels. Where ability or ‘can do’ is based on skills and knowledge that accrue from one’s experience, the motivation or ‘will do’ is based on personality traits such as, one’s disposition, interests, and behaviour patterns. Both ‘can do’ and ‘will do’ are important for a successful performance in all endeavours.

Generally we are more concerned about acquiring technical skills. We feel proud of our learning ability, and flaunt our past achievements. In all this our personality traits remain ignored and hidden. Once we realize that these traits are an important determinant of our talents and our success, we start paying more attention to them. In the field of management, personality plays a very important role, because a manager has a strong impact on the whole organization. So as MBA aspirants, it is very important for you to know your personality traits.

What are these personality traits? There are five basic dimensions of personality. These are:

Being open. Open people appreciate creativity, adventure, unusual ideas, and a variety of experiences. They are open to life itself. Everything is a learning opportunity for them. Satisfaction and accomplishment are especially important to these people. They are driven by their hunger for adventure and need for achievement. Self esteem motivates them. They love challenging work, and are motivated by the very challenge that the work offers.

Being conscientious. Conscientious people tend to plan rather than being spontaneous. These people are self-disciplined, and dependable. They seek achievement through caution. They make calculated moves. Obligation remains a major motivator for them. They do things because things ought to be done. Feeling of responsibility motivates them to help others. They love to be recognized for their work. They love autonomy. They do something when they feel that their work is important, or what they are doing is significant.

Being extroverted. Extrovert people seek stimulation. They like people’s company. They exude energy and positive emotions. They are a delight to be with. They work for enjoyment. Fun motivates them. Fringe benefits become more important than safety. They feel motivated when they know that there is a substantial probability of succeeding in their endeavour. They do things that give them pleasure. Repetitiveness of a task puts them off. Monotony de-motivates them.

Being agreeable. Agreeable people are pleasant. They are accommodating in most situations. They adjust in any environment. Their motivation comes from being liked by others. These people seek praise and approval all the time. Their chief motivator is the need for affiliation. Job security is very important to them. They like regular competency feedback, empowerment and a sense of belonging. They will do anything to mesh with the rest of the crowd.

Being neurotic. Neurotic people tend to be negative most of the times. Their stress tolerance is very low. They need instant gratification. Their motivation is based on receiving rewards immediately. They need re-enforcers from time to time, and coercion to put in their best effort. They are driven by their need for power. They love status. They require active encouragement from the environment.

While these are broad personality dimensions, most of us fit in one or the other dimension easily. Analyze yourself. Where do you fit in? American financier and banker John Pierpont Morgan said that a man always has two reasons for doing anything; a good reason and the real reason. What is your good reason for doing MBA? What is the real reason? Do some soul searching and find your answers.

True motivation starts with a need and a vision. The dream and the desire to achieve the impossible makes one move along the path of success. Creativity pours in at this point and makes you take inspired actions. In such a scenario, dreams are realized and magic happens.
So develop a love for learning. Become involved with new adventures. Seek new opportunities. Learn what works for you and what doesn’t. Develop the ability to overcome barriers. Bounce back from failures. There must be something in your life that gets you completely excited. Discover that passion. Analyze the lifestyle of your dreams and let this picture motivate you.

My motivation comes from my desire to be free. To have the freedom to live the lifestyle I dream of; the freedom to explore new ideas. Where does your motivation come from?

Remember to be successful, you must EXPECT success!!!!!!

Advanc’Edge MBA, May 2008, Chitra Jha

Right Decision at Right Time

2008-04-21T12:50:00.001+05:30

In our day- to- day living we make decisions in every moment. Some of these decisions are taken after a great deliberation while some happen automatically without us giving them a conscious thought. These decisions determine the course of our lives over a period of time. These decisions create our destiny. They make us the co-creators of God. It is a continuous process. Just as people differ from each other, so do their decision making styles. But each person eventually is a sum total of all the decisions made by him till date.

Decisions can be rational or irrational. They depend upon our thinking and feelings, judgment and perceptions. Sometimes intuition plays an important role as well. At times our pre-conceived notions come into play. There are times when our decisions conform to other’s expectations of us. Taking decisions makes us feel that we have control over events. How do you make your decisions? What determines your decision making process?

If we want to be true to ourselves, we should never make decisions that are not ours to make in the first place. It means that we should know when to make a decision and when to just let it be. Sometimes letting the events flow, having full faith in the process of life, is a better decision than trying to exercise control.

Always remember that there are no right and wrong decisions. Your decision is just one action amongst many alternative actions. Each action has a consequence. You choose the action that produces the most productive consequence. That is all. Don’t become too righteous about things. That makes you judgmental about others and their decisions.

Do not take decisions on the spur of a moment. If you have made a mistake and the decision is reversible, don’t let your ego come in the way. Go ahead and change the course of events. Any non-reversible decision should be taken after a lot of deliberation.

A good decision making habit is to make the decision in writing. When you make notes and keep your ideas visible, it is easy to take the right action. Your decision should be based on what is right, and not on who is right. Writing provides clarity of thought, and guides you to make the right decision.

Don’t procrastinate. Keep making decisions as and when required. Do not sleep over them for too long. Too many pending little decisions turn into monsters of complex decisions that are difficult to deal with.

Who are the people affected by your decisions? Involve them in decision making process. That will increase their commitment to you. Do not worry unduly about the correctness of your decisions. Trust yourself, and trust the Universe to guide you at each step. Your job is to decide a course of action, and leave the rest to the intelligence of the Universe.

Before making decisions look at the outcome that you are looking for. Identify the alternatives available to you. What are the risks associated with your decision? Evaluate all these parameters and go ahead with confidence and élan. Remember that you have the right to be wrong. Don’t forfeit this right.

Most of the decisions that we make in our lives are mundane. Delegate those decisions to others to make. Always keep in mind the implementation of your decisions. Once a decision has been made do not look back. Take stock of the situation and focus on your next step. Do not regret a decision. Remember, it was the right thing to do at that time. Now shift your focus to what is right in the present moment.

Some of the factors that determine your caliber as an empowered decision maker are:-

Self Esteem
Courage
Honesty
Love

The most precious gift any parent can give to his child is the gift to make right decisions at the right time. Most of us do great damage to our children by making all their decisions for them, at the pretext of knowing what is best for them. Every one including children must listen to themselves and think for themselves. That is the hallmark of being a responsible human being. Then you can’t blame others for your failures and your misfortunes. You will learn to take responsibility of your actions.

Be what you are. Be objective about yourself. Identify your weaknesses and your strengths. Being honest with yourself guides you to take most appropriate decisions at all times. Care about yourself. Know that your abilities are being used in a correct manner. Embrace all your decisions. Embrace your life.

Accept the present moment completely, without any judgment. You are no more and no less than what you are at this moment. In the next moment you are free to make a new decision that has the power to change the course of your life. Only you and your decisions carry that power. Acknowledge and accept this power within you.

Never envy others. Envying others and their growth is detrimental to your growth. When you make up your mind about the direction that you are going to give to your life, the things start changing. Everything starts with you and your decisions.

Some people suffer from Decidophobia. It is the fear of making your own decisions. Instead of deciding how to live or what to believe in, a drifting person simply follows the ‘Status Quo’. These people are unable to make even small decisions. They let others decide for them. Such people can never be happy with their lives. They are a dissatisfied lot. They can not look at the bigger picture. They can not generate any action on their own.

In our culture most of the decision making is left to the husbands and the fathers. For some reason men are considered to be better decision makers. With the changing outlook, these patterns are also witnessing a change. It is time for each one of us to own the responsibility of our own decisions and their consequences.

Eternal Solutions, April 2008, Chitra Jha

Personal Excellence

2008-03-21T18:25:00.000+05:30

No matter what you do in your life, doing it to the best of your abilities brings in great rewards. Making a commitment to personal excellence ensures a life full of success, passion, and fulfillment. Why is excellence so important? It is a well known fact that the results that we experience are always in direct proportion to the quality of our actions. If we put in half hearted actions, we achieve minimal results. If we give our absolute best, we achieve miracles.

The concept of excellence can be applied to any area of our lives, be it our health, wealth, career, or relationships. Sometimes we do just a ‘good enough’ job and call it our best effort. Who are we fooling by doing that? We are only fooling ourselves. We can get good results from putting in a ‘good enough’ effort, but we get excellent results only by achieving excellence in our work. One question that I often ask myself is, “Am I willing to settle for ‘good enough’?” At times I am, but most of the times I am not. Especially when it comes to my life, and my relationships, I am not willing to settle for anything that is not excellent.

In my experience, people do not give their best, because deep down they feel that they are not capable of it. What about you? Do you think that if a task requires effort, it is not worth doing? Do you avoid working any harder than you have to? Do you think that great success is only reserved for truly gifted or incredibly lucky? Are you more focused on quick results, even though they may not be the best results?

Research has shown that any average person is capable of achieving at least 20 times more than they currently do. Do you believe in this statement? Does it ring true in your life? Are you capable of achieving much more than you have done so far? The moment you are willing to consider that you are capable of more; you are in the right mindset to change your life for the better.

Be honest and take a good look at what you have accomplished in your life so far. Are there any areas where you could have done better? Did you shy away from increased responsibility at work? Were you passed over for a promotion? Did you give up your dreams? Did you think that life is too difficult?

If you want to achieve excellence in life, the first step is to acknowledge and accept that your present circumstances reflect the quality and quantity of actions that you have taken so far in your life. You may feel uncomfortable acknowledging it because it effectively means that you are the cause of your stunted growth. However, unless you know where you are and why you are there, you can not make further progress.

Do not judge yourself for your progress or the lack of it so far. Be kind to yourself. Berating yourself and feeling bad about things does not help your situation in any way. Just get a clear understanding of where you are and where you want to go. Tell yourself that you did the best you could with the knowledge that you had so far, and make a promise to yourself to aim for excellence. After all excellence is not about what you do but how you do it.

To understand yourself better you need to ask a few questions.

What is important to you?
What do you live for?
What have you always wanted to do?

Answering these questions would set you on an amazing journey of self-discovery and stupendous growth. Are you ready for it? Are you aware of the activities that make your heart sing? The trick lies in indulging in these activities more often and with more enthusiasm. Be totally involved in these activities.

When we are involved in something that we feel passionately about, we automatically give our all to it. We are able to devote all our energies to the task at hand. In the process of enjoying ourselves, we lend more power to the end result of these activities. Ask yourself do you want lukewarm results or powerful results? The choice is entirely yours.

Sometimes we get too bogged down about the mundane things that just have to be done. It is easy to slip into half-hearted efforts of drudgery and most of the times we do just that. Have you ever thought what may happen if you start paying more attention to your routine tasks? To begin with, start focusing more on the benefits of the work that you do, rather than on the work itself. Create a sense of inner pride about everything that you undertake. For example, don’t do your job because you have to. Do your work as though it is the most important job in the world.

Why must you do that? Why should your attitude matter in such a simple, routine thing as your work? The fact remains that if you approach your work with grudging obligation, a few things will happen.

You won’t enjoy the process. You are more focused on just getting it done. You won’t give full attention to the process.
Since you didn’t pay full attention to the process, the results will not be satisfactory. The results may be ‘okay’, and you might be fine with it, but won’t ‘good’ be better than ‘okay’? And won’t ‘great’ be better than ‘good’?
You will miss out on a great sense of accomplishment that comes from a job well done.

If you wish to experience a greater sense of joy and fulfillment in your life, enjoy the things that you do, and expect excellence from yourself. Settling for anything less is insulting your divine potential!!!!!!!

Secrets of Success

2008-03-07T15:01:00.001+05:30

Have you ever wondered about the secrets of success? Has it ever occurred to you that there must be something amiss in your efforts to be successful? Are you living the life that you want to live? Do you feel energetic and alive all the time? Are you passionate about what you do? Do you face each day with expectation and excitement? Do these questions make you uncomfortable? Well, my purpose is to shake you out of your complacence and urge you to move to the next level.

Why is it that so few of us get to be ‘successful’? Being successful takes learning some skills that are present in all successful people. These skills are not necessarily taught in our schools and colleges. That is why a formal education leaves us high and dry on the path to success. Are you willing to give some time to learn these skills to stay ahead of the pack?

There are five character traits that finally determine the chances of your being successful. Some of these distinct traits may be present in you, some you may need to learn. Let us examine these ‘Success Sutras’.

1. Discipline

We know that hard work is the key to success, but hard work without discipline is of no use. Discipline makes you set goals. It helps you manage your time. It makes you measure the results, and finally it helps you maintain an overall balance in your life. So inculcate some discipline in your life. It pays.

2. Passion

Like I said earlier, it is more than just hard work that lets you taste success. How you hold on to a dream determines your success. I agree life does come on hard at us sometimes. It is our passion for what we do that makes us sail through these difficult times. You must develop an instinct to press on and dream mega dreams. Whatever it is that you do, unless you do it to the best of your capability, it is not enough. Passion is the driving force that makes you put in your best effort.

3. Risk

Risk is that ability which makes you step out of your comfort zone. It is not always about rolling a dice and taking a chance. Your willingness to face the challenges on the road to success makes you defeat your complacent attitude. That is your risk taking ability. It is an ability that is valued very highly as a leadership trait. You must be ready to face challenges, regardless of the cost. Your willingness to take risks gets your adrenaline pumping, and helps you move ahead.

4. Optimism

They say, ‘You are what you think about.’ Your self-esteem, self-image, and confidence come from your optimism. Do you see the glass half full or half empty? Your answer to this question determines your rate of success. A positive outlook is the precursor to success. Once you have achieved that, you are ready to take on the world. You should not be boastful, but you must develop a genuine sense of self-worth. You must find value in being yourself. If you are optimistic, you are always a pleasure to be around.

5. Interpersonal skills

You must understand that relationships are fundamental to overall success. That includes personal relationships and your individual ability to deal with people. Factors like negotiating, selling your ideas, and public speaking are all necessary for ultimate success. Don’t always stay in the background. Know when to speak, and when to listen. Be confident of your abilities but don’t try to put others down.

Do you agree with me so far? Can you take some time out and analyze yourself on these critical parameters? Are you satisfied with your appraisal? If yes, is there a scope for improvement? If no, what are you going to do about it? By just choosing to examine yourself, your odds of achieving success have skyrocketed. Now you stand a better chance of making a significant turn in your life; a turn towards success. Now you know what you need to do in order to best impact your life. Now you are aware of your challenges. Are you ready to take the next step?

The next step is – Action. Just understanding things and concepts is not enough. You need to move further than that. Take action to improve yourself. Internalize these concepts. Turn your challenges into opportunities. Take help from your parents, friends, colleagues or teachers. Make it your mission to work on yourself. Look for the answers, direction, and guidance that you need in order to improve your chances of success. Taking an action now will enhance your life for years to come.

Remember, if you make the choice of not taking an action, the challenges that face you today will only grow bigger in size, and tackling them will become that much harder. But the choice always rests with you. It is your life after all. You write your own life script. No one else can do it for you.

By imbibing these five character traits you will develop that much talked about quality called charisma. Charisma is the ability to influence people positively. You may have noticed that all successful people are charismatic. They develop this quality over the years. Once you grasp this power it can never be taken away from you, but like every other good thing it takes deep willingness on your part to achieve it.

So, wake up. Hone your ability to speak well. Sharpen your listening skills. Master your persuasive talent and stop sitting on the fence. Do you have the courage to do all this? Are you ready to make the change right now? Remember, that deep inside you, you have the capability of dealing with all your challenges. When a challenge is placed in front of you, the mechanisms of dealing with it are also revealed to you. Just show your willingness and let your inner self guide you. If roadblocks come your way, as they certainly would; believe that they are there to strengthen you.

As always, expect SUCCESS!

Advanc'edge MBA March 2008

Walk the Talk

2008-03-02T10:46:00.000+05:30

“Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”
–John C. Maxwell, Author of ‘Developing the Leader within You’

Most of us pay a lot of attention to our communication skills and that is very desirable indeed. But we usually forget the fact that our body is also a communication tool. The fact is that 99% of people are unaware of the way they project themselves to others. However, the transfer of information through body language takes place nonetheless.

Experts in the field of communication often quote the 55/38/7 ‘Rule’ that states;
Research has shown that people derive only about 7% of the meaning of a
communication from the words per se which the speaker uses (verbalised emotion), about 38% is based on the tone of the voice the speaker uses, and over 55% from the speaker’s body language. Another general rule states that the spoken word carries about 15 % of the total information being exchanged, while body language carries the remaining 85%. Whichever rule we follow, it is clear that our body language outweighs our words in importance by a large margin. Unfortunately we pay all our attention to the spoken word and neglect to acknowledge our body’s language.

Experts also maintain that words carry only information; while body language carries emotions as well. If you want to know what kind of relationship two people have, watch their body language, rather than listen to their word.

Our education lays a lot of stress on spoken word and we spend a lot of time and energy mastering it. While speaking we must also remember that our voice, that carries these ‘all important’ words, is an important part of our personality. We use it to express many subtleties that go beyond the literal meaning of our words. What we say can mean many different things, depending on which voice tone we use. Politicians, leaders and speakers from various fields understand the importance of their voice as a tool to influence others and hire voice coaches. We need to use a soft, well modulated voice to convey our confidence in ourselves.

It is easy to learn the spoken word, it is not so difficult to train our voice; but controlling body language takes a lot more than that. The fact is that most of our postures and gestures are carried out without our being conscious of them. The body creates such gestures and movements because all its actions are governed and controlled by thoughts. Any movement means that some thought that exists in the mind is being expressed. Everything that our body does conveys something. That is why the body movements are called, ‘thoughts in motion.’

If our spoken word is in alignment with our sub-conscious thoughts, our body language reinforces our words. Problems occur when our spoken word and our body language are in conflict with each other. It implies that what we are saying is not true, because our body can not lie. Our body conveys our true, deep thoughts.

So how do we control our body language? Is it completely beyond our control? Fortunately that is not the case? We can control our movements to some extent by being aware of our body’s language and by paying attention to it.

There are some golden rules of conveying a positive impression, using our body.

1. Always look at someone directly in their eyes during a conversation. This may seem difficult at first but it is definitely the number one body language ingredient to make you successful when interacting with others. Looking directly into someone’s eyes does not mean that you stare at them. In fact, never ever stare at someone. The trick lies in tracing the inverted triangle formed by the speaker’s eyes and nose, and letting your gaze move around in that area.

Normally, you need to maintain eye contact for around 60-70% of the time during an interaction; any longer and you run the risk of making the other person feel self conscious or uncomfortable. Remember that you want to convey a feeling of comfort and genuine trust in yourself. Any more eye contact than this and you can be perceived as too intense, any less and you can give off a sense of disinterest in them.

2. Always stand up straight. You should not slouch. Not only does this make you appear shorter but it projects you as a person with low self-esteem. Good posture isn’t about standing at tin-soldier attention either; it’s about carrying yourself so you look as if you have a spine and a purpose. The key to walking tall is, knowing where you are going.

Your posture can have a significant impact on how you feel. Look at your posture as a subconscious reflection of your state of mind. Next time you notice you’re feeling a bit down or low, take a look at how you are standing or sitting. Chances are you will be slouched over, with your shoulders drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can make you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

3. A smile can give any one an instant facelift. Smile is your most powerful body signal. Though it is not recommended to smile constantly (it will convey the impression that you are searching for approval), you should make an effort to appear happy and optimistic.

4. When speaking to someone, it is important to use body movements but avoid making rapid, repetitive gestures. Picture someone who is nervous while speaking in the public; this is exactly what you are not aiming for.

Your arms are a direct indication of how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with. The more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use big movements with your arms. The quieter you are the less you tend to move your arms away from your body. Strive to keep your movements somewhere in between the two. This will project you in the best possible light.

When gesturing, imagine a box that goes from your chin to your waist and is as wide as your shoulders. Keep all your gestures within that box. Make sure when you move your hands, that they remain closer to your body than your elbows are. Thus your hand movements will appear controlled and unthreatening.

It is important to keep your arms out to the sides of your body or behind your back, if you are standing and interacting. This displays a sense that you are comfortable and confident with your surroundings or situation.

Avoid crossing your arms while speaking. This makes you unapproachable and conveys a host of negative behavior. People read this as a defensive, nervous gesture. You might not feel that way; it might simply be a position you find comfortable, but perceptions are very important in any communication.

Don’t ever point with your fingers. It reminds people of being scolded. Use your whole hand and gesture with an open palm when you need to indicate something.

5. Legs are the most difficult parts of our bodies to consciously control. It is also no accident that they are the farthest from our brain. They tend to move around a lot more than normal when we are stressed, nervous, or being deceptive. Try your best to quiet your body and keep your legs as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings.

Be conscious and careful how you are crossing your legs. Should you cross at the knees or the ankles? It is best to avoid crossing your legs, and under no circumstances put one leg completely over your other knee. This position is known as the ‘Figure Four’ and is perceived as a defensive posture. However, you may cross your legs at the ankles if that makes you comfortable.

6. Learning how to position your head when interacting with others can be a tremendous tool to have. It can be a very effective and versatile resource, depending on the message you wish to convey.

When you want to feel confident and self assured, keep your head leveled, both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and want your word to be taken seriously.

Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in a listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or the other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in conversation. This is interpreted as respectfully listening with interest.

7. Touching your face, and scratching around the mouth or cheek area, are considered a dead giveaway. These gestures imply that you are lying; and even under the best of circumstances, look kind of weird and gross.

Finally, it is all very well to learn some of these positive body signals, but like I mentioned earlier, body can not lie. Its language comes from the subconscious and we can not fake it for long, and all the time. If you want to have sustained success, it has to come from within. You have to look at the big picture. If you lack confidence or self-esteem, or if you possess a negative attitude, first work on these areas. As you begin to transform these inner beliefs, your body will speak a different language. What is more important is that it will be a real, true part of you. The following quote says it all.

“It’s never too late to be, what you might have become.”
- George Eliot, Famous Victorian Novelist
Advanc’edge MBA, March 2007, Chitra Jha

Winners Vs. Losers

2008-02-11T12:15:00.000+05:30

Who is a winner? To me a person, who decides to do something and then does it, is a winner. At the same time someone who decides not to do something and doesn’t do it, is equally a winner. A loser on the other hand decides to do something and doesn’t do it or decides not to do something but goes ahead and does it under external pressure or persuasion. What do you think of these definitions? Do you agree with me?
If you notice carefully, the entire matter of being a winner or loser rests on your capability to take a decision and follow it through. Decision making is a major leadership trait. All successful leaders (I am not using the word ‘manager’, as I find ‘leader’ a far better suited word for the aspiring new generation) are quick decision makers. By quick I don’t mean, in the heat of the moment; or by not thinking it through. It means to assess a situation in all its hues quickly and to take a decision based on that assessment. It is good to make quick decisions, but the most important thing is to follow these decisions through. A loser falls well short of following his decisions and seeing them to their ultimate completion.
Winners view the world as a benevolent place. To Albert Einstein’s famous thought provoking question, ‘Is this a friendly Universe?’ the winners always answer in affirmative. They feel that the world is full of great opportunities and wonderful people. Winners see the world as mainly good with some bad bits. The losers view the world as mainly malevolent with some good bits. How do you view the world? Your answer to this question speaks volumes about you and your station in life.
Winners have the habit of visualizing their future in bright technicolour details. They approve of themselves and know that they are worth much more than what they have at present. Life is an exciting adventure for them. They live it to the fullest. Losers view life as a chore. If someone casually asks them, ‘How is it going?’ they will open their box of woes. ‘Just getting along.’, ‘Life goes on.’ are standard responses. What do you think life will dole out to them? Like Aladdin’s genie, life would say, ‘Your wish is my command.’
Winners are dreamers. They dream big, because they know that today’s dreams are tomorrow’s reality. They work backwards from a future dream to the present day and make their plans to achieve their goals. Losers too dream, but they don’t back up these dreams with systematic action plan. What are such dreams called? These dreams are no more than ethereal hot air.
Winners possess another great quality- Discipline. Their discipline keeps them going during temporary setbacks. Thus they convert their ‘yearning power’ into their ‘earning power’. What do you think the losers do? When going gets tough, they hang their boots. They proclaim that the luck is not in their favour. They give up too easily.
Winners value time. They guard against procrastination, the thief of their precious commodity, their time. Losers discuss amongst themselves that they will start working one day real soon, but that day doesn’t dawn. They are unaware of the thrill of victory after a job well done. They are not willing to pay the life’s cost of admission to the big league. They do not know the enjoyment of work, their pleasures lie elsewhere. They do not put their best efforts into anything. Who would want to keep company with them?
Winners take care of their physical fitness. They know that neither their body nor their mind will work at an optimal level without it. Therefore they give attention to their habits, diet and exercise regimen.
Winners have pleasing personalities. They acquire the art of making themselves agreeable to others. They learn to negotiate with others without creating friction of any sort. They are flexible and adaptable. They harmonise with any given environment and possess necessary magnetism to attract others. Who wouldn’t want to be around such a person?
Winners understand the value of initiative. They never have to be told what to do and how to do it. They create plans and translate them into actions through their initiative. They do not need to be supervised all the time.
Motivational speaker Shiv Khera’s famous quote, ‘Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently’, is indeed very apt.
To be a winner for life, identify what your ideal life will look like. Create a compelling vision for your future. Formulate exacting goals for its achievement. Never give up on your hopes and dreams of a bright future. Overcome temporary setbacks. Look at them as great learning experiences.
Earl Nightingale, one of the earlier personal development teachers, and co-founder of the publishing house ‘Nightingale-Conant’, defined success as ‘The progressive realization of a worthy ideal.’ As long as you are ‘progressing’ towards an ideal that you think is worthy of achievement, you are succeeding. Enjoying the journey makes it all the more worthwhile. You will do well to remember that the word ‘worthwhile’ means that your goal is worth your time and energy. Think about that. Are your goals worthy of your life?
If you consider the fact that the price for your achievements is your time, which is all that you have of any real value, you will soon see the importance of having a goal that is worthy of your most prized possession. So go back over your goals and see if they meet the criteria for being worthy of you, not the other way around. If not, then maybe you need to stretch yourself and go for something of more importance to you. You will be a real winner then.
Practically speaking, your actions and your behaviour determine how your destiny will unfold. Knowing that your fate is in your hands, what are you going to do about it? Are you ready to be a winner? Remember in order to get something you’ve got to give something. So give up dependence, procrastination, laziness, need for approval, self criticism, and the loser attitude.
If a window of correcting the course of your life exists, why not open it and let in some fresh air? The basic question, however, remains to be answered. Answer it now. The question is, ‘Are you willing?’
The choice is yours. The window is open. And you can begin now.
Co-create your life and expect success.

Advanc'edge MBA, February 2008, Chitra Jha

No Mistake Syndrome

2008-02-07T21:10:00.000+05:30

Most organizations suffer from this malady called the ‘No Mistake Syndrome’. I believe that the person who makes the least number of errors happens to also be the person who does the least amount of work. Do you agree? Why are we so afraid of making mistakes? Our fear originates in the environment of our organizations. If all goes well with a new idea, there are many takers for the credit, but the moment something goes wrong every one wants to wash his/her hands off that idea. And the hunt for a scapegoat begins! Who would want to come up with creative ideas in such an environment?

Why is it that managers show little capacity for tolerating mistakes? The fact is that today’s managers are in too much of a hurry to climb the corporate ladder. They do not have any time for mistakes. They want immediate results to show to the world that they make things happen. Their main concern is their own growth strategy. On the other hand managers, who have a stake in their company’s growth, realize that mistakes, problems, and errors (whatever you may call them), always come with a hidden potential for a greater good. History is replete with such examples.

A pharmacist was trying to produce a ‘general’ tonic, when his assistant ‘by mistake’ dropped carbonated water into the brew. Thus Coca Cola was born. Charles Goodyear ‘by mistake’ dropped a piece of rubber that had sulphur and white lead in it on a hot stove. That was the first ‘vulcanization’ of rubber. Alexander Graham Bell was trying to make a hearing aid for his hearing-impaired wife. He failed in that endeavour, but in the bargain presented the world with long distance telephony. Dr. Spencer Silver was trying to make a permanent adhesive, his failure to do so eventually gave the world a most useful temporary adhesive, which made ‘Post-it’ possible. Without these mistakes the world would have been a poorer place.

If an organization wants to experience vibrant delights of innovative ideas, it needs to learn tolerance for errors. It needs to understand that there is a great learning inherent in a mistake. The challenge for the managers is to unearth that learning and share it with the concerned employees. Let these mistakes inspire them to strive harder, for better results. Leaders who support their employees in such times earn respect by bushels.

How about facing these challenges with the joy, abandon, and playfulness of children? Learning gets enhanced in such an environment. No wonder children’s learning curve is much sharper than that of adults!

Tuning in to the inner guidance also helps in overcoming problems. But fear, worry, and resultant stress separate us from our inner guidance. We find ourselves in a vicious cycle of being unable to cope. That is when we wish problems and mistakes away. But our wishing does not help, because errors are an integral part of the learning process. There can be no real learning, if no mistakes are ever made. In stead of looking at mistakes as things to be feared, we should look at them as challenges to be looked forward to.

One reason for fearing mistakes is that we are inwardly afraid. We are under confident of ourselves and our abilities. Mistakes make us feel vulnerable. We forget that a fear based response is always counterproductive. How can we let go of this fear? When we are confident of our own worth, we are ready to take charge of our mistakes. Taking charge requires taking action. Action through thought, action through word, and action through deed! A person who is willing to take charge has no time to complain and blame other people. When we take charge, we announce to the world our determination to do a task to the best of our ability. If in doing that some mistakes are committed, so be it. That doesn’t lessen our commitment. We carry on regardless, and eventually achieve success.

At the same time we must be ready to ‘analyze’ the task at hand. Understand our mistake and make a dispassionate decision whether we need to put more energy into it or let it go. Learning to let go is an integral part of learning from our mistakes. It means that we have taken the decision to let go of a person, situation, or an outcome. Great leaders know when to hang on and when to let go.

Any mistake must finally lead to a positive change of behaviour that paves the path for achieving organizational growth. Just showing intolerance for mistakes is not going to empower the employees, nor will it help us achieve organizational outcomes. The solution lies in taking the problem by its horns: and making the employee say; ‘Now it makes sense.’ ‘I understand it now.’ The only way to insure that mistakes don’t happen all the time is to know your employees’ strengths and to delegate tasks accordingly. You need to also understand the gaps between real capabilities and projected capabilities, or perceived capabilities. Even after that if mistakes happen, own them and learn from them!

The Times of India, Ascent, 12/12/07, Chitra Jha